“Figure out who you are and do it on purpose” – Dolly Parton
This month’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast talks about self-acceptance and diabetes. Max “Mr. Divabetic” Szadek focuses attention on Julie Murphy’s book Dumplin’ and spotlighting the music of Dolly Parton who helped make the soundtrack for the Netflix movie. To summarize (and simplify) the story, it’s about a plus-size teenageddaughter of a former beauty queen, who learns how to accept her body and feel proud of who she is.
Self-acceptance can be an emotional struggle for many people, especially for women who judge their appearance critically. You fill in the blank: “I am too ______” short, tall, fat, skinny, young or old, etc. Let’s remember not to judge a book by its cover! Plus-size people can be superficially judged by their body type instead of what’s on the inside. It’s unfair, but you can’t change what others think. Try to remember to be yourself. People don’t have to like you, but you don’t have to care.
Some people are judged critically for having diabetes. It is assumed, and they are unfairly blamed and shamed, that they lead an unhealthy lifestyle (i.e. eating too many sweets, and being lazy). It’s hurtful to be so harshly judged, especially with no evidence to support those accusations. You know in your heart of hearts what is true and what is untrue. Remember that the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.
Benefits of Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is necessary for good mental health. A person who scores high on self-acceptance has a positive, non-judging attitude. A person treats themselves kindly, rather than harshly. A person allows themselves to be human, to make mistakes and learn from them. Know that as humans we are not perfect, nor should we be expected to act flawlessly.
Psychological benefits of self-acceptance include a decrease in depressive symptoms and an increase in positive emotions. Positive benefits include an increase in feelings of self-worth and self-esteem, and more self-kindness when mistakes occur. Self-acceptance is associated with more optimism and better recovery from stress. Other psychological benefits are a decrease in fear of failure, less desire to win the approval of others, and less self-criticism. Physical benefits include lower levels of glycosylated hemoglobin (a marker for glucose levels/insulin resistance).
Tips for Self-Acceptance
Use self-talk to encourage yourself. Tell yourself to keep trying and focus on positive aspects of what you did.
Forgive yourself. You have to accept your humanness and the fact that you are not perfect. If you hurt yourself through addictive behavior, avoidance, or otherwise behaving unwisely, make a coping plan for the next time you are in a similar situation so that you can begin to act differently. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.
Become mindful. Know what you think, feel and want. When you are mindful you can act on this knowledge rather than on what others want for you.
Practice good self-care. You can accept yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. Nourish yourself daily through healthy activities, like choosing healthful food choices, physical activity, sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.
Final Thoughts
Challenge your negative thoughts about yourself. The underlying message of Dumplin is to figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Treat yourself with self-compassion. Tolerate yourself to be imperfect in some parts. We are deserving of love and respect just the way we are. Value yourself and all the things that make you unique. We are all works in progress.
Dr. Beverly S. Adler, aka “Dr. Bev”, is a clinical psychologist and Certified Diabetes Educator with a private practice in Baldwin, NY. She was honored in 2016 with the “Certified Diabetes Educator Entrepreneur of the Year Award.”
She is the author/editor of two diabetes self-help books which include insightful lessons of empowerment written by successful men and women with diabetes. She has published articles in print and online about diabetes management – always with the focus on emotional adjustment. Dr. Bev has been quoted in numerous magazines and contributed to a monthly diabetes advice column online. She is a frequent contributor to the Divabetic Diabetes Daily Wire, where she blogs about diabetes topics from the psychological perspective.
Dr. Bev has lived successfully with type 1 diabetes for 42 years. You can connect with her on her website www.AskDrBev.com and on Twitter @AskDrBev.
Don’t miss February’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast in support of the ‘Spare A Rose, Save A Child’campaign on Tuesday, February 12, 2019, 6 – 7:30 PM, EST. We’re talking about ‘SELF ACCEPTANCE & DIABETES’ with musical inspiration from Country Superstar, Dolly Parton. Guests include Poet Lorraine Brooks, Dr.Beverly S. Adler PhD, CDE, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, Catherine Schuller AICI, CIP, Lisa R Young, PhD, RDN and more. Enjoy selected songs from Dolly Parton’s new album Dumplin’ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack courtesy of SONY Music. TUNE IN