Let’s Talk About Sex! Book Club: The Next Chapter

Last night I took my mother to see the new film Book Club: The Next Chapter, starring Jane Fonda (85), Candice Bergen (77), Diane Keaton (77), and Mary Steenburgen (70).

I had no idea walking into the theater that this film would resolve any lingering doubts I have about publishing the soon-to-be-released Divabetic’s ebook about intimacy and diabetes for women entitled Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes by two leading experts, Janis Roszler MS, RD, LD/N, CDCES, FAND and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FAADE. Hollywood’s crude depiction of older women only fueled my desire to provide accurate, honest, and friendly help about this important topic for women with diabetes.
I enjoyed the first film and looked forward to seeing the sequel. The new movie follows the journey of four best friends as they take their book club to Italy for the fun girls’ trip they never had. But it wasn’t as good as the first film. 

After the movie, we went to a piano bar for dinner. There was a group of eight older women at a nearby table. None of these women resembled the four women we saw on screen. On top of being several dress sizes smaller than the group of piano bar women, the four movie stars were crude, constantly drinking alcohol, and seemed only interested in talking or having sex. 
The film’s depiction of older women could have been more realistic. What I hoped would be an empowering big-screen event for a female ensemble cast whose average age is 77 is sadly a letdown. Plus, they barely discussed any books. What made the first film so much fun was seeing these four women find ease and comfort in talking about and experiencing intimacy after reading 50 Shades Of Grey.

The Nex Chapter’s plot focuses on eternally single Vivian (Fonda)  getting married, and her best pals Diane (Keaton), Sharon (Bergen), and Carol (Steenburgen) take her on a bachelorette trip to Rome, Venice, where hijinks ensue. The trip’s inspiration comes from 1988’s mystical self-help parable, the Alchemist.  The movie’s plot hinges on the book’s central theme of fate versus taking control of your destiny.
Unfortunately, Hollywood thinks America’s idea of entertainment is seeing old ladies misbehaving or talking dirty. This is why I feel it’s essential to publish our book and help women of a certain age living with diabetes get honest advice about sexual health issues. 
Jane Fonda’s roles lately are all crude women with filthy mouths, just like Diane Keaton’s characters are all as cooky as her wardrobe on and off-screen.
Her dialogue consists of double-entendres such as, ‘Give him his credit, he’s 2,000 years old, and he’s still hard as a rock,’ when she looks at a Roman statue.
In reality,  men with diabetes are three times more likely to have erectile dysfunction (ED). Getting older doesn’t cause ED, but it does increase your chance of getting it. It would have been interesting to see her character, Vivian, find creative solutions to coping with her lover, Don Johnson’s issues if he had ED in the bedroom.
As an older actress, she seems determined to show people that women over a certain age are still sexually active singlehandedly. Her film roles, Book Club, Book Club: The Next Chapter, and 80 For Brady, seem to exist for this sole purpose.  I admire her work in the TV series Grace and  Frankie for how she and her co-star, Lily Tomlin, handle this subject.
But on the big screen, Jane Fonda’s characters miss the mark. Candice Bergen, whose face and shape are the most realistic depiction of actual older women, seems unconvincingly comfortable having a one-night stand in a Venetian gondola. 
On the one hand, I want to say, “Good for her,” but on the other hand, I want to point out how unrealistic and irresponsible this scene is. For one thing, there’s no mention of condoms. As a gay man living in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS crisis, I was constantly told by friends and strangers to use protection. Sadly, people who gave me the advice seem to not heed it for themselves. 
Statistics published in 2018 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have shown that the number of new HIV infections is growing faster in individuals over 50 than in people 40 years and under,and HIV may be the tip of the iceberg.
Older Women and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)
The aging process also puts older adults at greater risk for STDs. The immune system declines as people age, making them more susceptible to infectious diseases. 
After menopause, women’s vaginal tissues thin, and natural lubrication decreases. This can increase the risk of micro-tears and sexual transmission of certain diseases such as ​HIV/AIDS.
Secondly, the lack of natural lubrication, often called ‘vaginal dryness’ in older women, is common. This is especially true for women with diabetes. If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness, then sex will be painful, regardless if you’re in a bed or on a gondola. 
Hollywood’s constant stream of unrealistic portrayals of real-life older women is more reason for accurate, friendly information about intimacy for women with diabetes. Hopefully, when it’s available, you will download a copy of Divabetic’s upcoming ebook, Sweet Romance, on Amazon.

Can’t wait for the book to come out? Need advice now?

Tune in to this Divabetic podcast; Mr. Divabetic explores issues of love, intimacy, and diabetes on this special one-hour podcast. Both type 1 and type 2 diabetes can lead to sexual health complications, including vaginal dryness, sensation, and performance. Up to 50% of men and 25% of women may experience some sexual problem or a loss of sex drive.

Don’t equate sexual performance with love or a fulfilling relationship; focus on letting your partner know you care and want to give pleasure as part of your relationship.

Mr. Divabetic’s Guests include Best-Selling Author Lisa EugeneJennifer Martsolf from Trigg Laboratories (the makers of Wet Lubricants), and Janis Roszler MS, RD, LD/N, CDCES, FAND (2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE).

Suppose you or your partner is experiencing sexual difficulties. In that case, you may find it helpful to meet with a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, marriage counselor, or sex therapist. These professionals can help you learn how to reduce stress and change behaviors and attitudes, mainly when impotence is caused by stress or other mental health issues.

GLAM MORE FEAR LESS: Join Divabetic’s growing Facebook and Twitter communities. We’re celebrating almost 20 years of presenting diabetes educational outreach that dazzles!

9 Divabetic Mystery Podcasts Available On Demand

This year we celebrate presenting our ninth original Divabetic Mystery podcast on Blog Talk Radio.  We fill our mystery podcasts with diabetes and diabetes self-care information, a suspenseful cozy mystery, and a few laughs.

We use a cozy mystery format to show how the average person can make a difference. It doesn’t matter if the protagonist is a knitter, a librarian, or in our case, a diabetes advocate with a passion for baking —that person can solve a murder.

In cozy mysteries, the amateur sleuth is surrounded by a group of family and friends, cheering her or him on to solve the crime. These supporting characters help and hinder, and it is a story about a community banding together for what is right.

You can apply the basic principles of our mystery podcast to managing your diabetes. We suggest you work with a team of healthcare collaborators to achieve optimum health rather than go it alone. Don’t be afraid to ask ‘stupid’ questions – knowledge is power. And when you are in doubt, know that we believe in you! You can do it.

Divabetic’s First Mystery Podcast: Pink Panther

Will ‘Orange’ be the new black for Mr. Divabetic?

When a murder occurs in the Divabetic studios, the primary suspect becomes the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic. Our fruit suit-clad amateur sleuth sets out to prove his innocence with the help of USA Today’s Best-Selling Author, Tonya Kappes. As they try to solve the crime, Mr. Divabetic and the Diabetes Late Nite cast discover the harmful side effects of dietary supplements for people with diabetes.

If you are not cautious, diabetes and dietary supplements can be dangerous. Some supplements are contaminated with substances other than those stated on the label. Others should be avoided with certain medications.

The first step in deciding whether or not to mix diabetes and dietary supplements is to talk to your doctor. He or she can discuss the possible benefits and risks of dietary supplements.

Guests include Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Neva White MSN, CRNP, CDCES, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Leisa Chester Weir, Jennifer Martsolf from Trigg Laboratories, Author Peter Arpesella, and Mama Rose Marie.

The Pink Panther Theme by Henry Mancini courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s Second Mystery Podcast: Phantom Of the Okra

Mr. Divabetic gets caught up in a murder mystery when he agrees to host the Red Tomato Carpet at the 6th Annual Bake Bethesda A Pie Contest at Central Farm Market in Bethesda, MD.

Will orange be the ‘new black’ for Mr. Divabetic? Find out what happens when Mr. Divabetic, the Diabetes Late Nite cast, and some special friends try to solve this diabetes murder mystery loosely based on “The Phantom Of The Opera.” Enjoy diabetes self-care advice and nutrition information in-between moments of suspense, wide-goose chases, and entertaining banter.

Guests include Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Asha Brown (founder of the We Are Diabetes organization), Central Farm Markets Co-Founder Debra Moser, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Author Peter Arpesella, Susan Weiner MS, RD, CDCES, CDN, Leisa Chester Weir, Terri Seidman, and Mama Rose Marie.

This podcast features song selections from “The Phantom Of The Opera” soundtrack courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s Third Mystery Podcast: Suspect Boulevard

Our third annual Diabetes Mystery Theater Podcast, ‘Suspect Boulevard’ revolves around dogs, dementia, diamonds, and diabetes. This special mystery theater production is loosely based on Billy Wilder’s film, Sunset Boulevard.

Our cast includes Poet Lorraine Brooks, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, ‘We Are Diabetes’ organization founder, Asha Brown, Catherine Schuller, Susan Weiner MS, RD, CDCES, CDN, Chef Robert Lewis, USA Today Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes and Mama Rose Marie.

Throughout the podcast, we will spotlight the wonderful music by the National Philharmonic Orchestra under the direction of Charles Gerhardt, courtesy of SONY MUSIC.

The happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic hopes to inspire you to become a Diabetes Detective will this third installment of the Diabetes Mystery Theater podcast.

Divabetic’s Fourth Mystery Podcast: Gypsies, Tramps And Peas

Diabetes advocate turned reluctant amateur sleuth, Mr. Divabetic finally takes the plunge and ventures into a new career as a healthy caterer. With the help of his co-workers and nosy Italian mother, he heads for Coney Island to cater his first party aboard a yacht for his former swim coach, Ted Rockow. But his nautical soiree quickly capsizes when the guest of honor is found swimming with the fishes. Was it an accident or foul play? Now Mr. Divabetic’s grilling Burlesque dancers, a lifeguard lothario, and some sequined mermaids, all intent on keeping their secrets buried deep within the sand. Can Mr. Divabetic prove Coach’s death was a murder, not an accident? Or will he end up floating out to sea?

Will he sink or swim? Tune in to find out if he can solve the murder of his former swim coach with the help of his friends, some sassy mermaids, and a cooky fortune teller. Along the way to revealing the identity of the murderer, he uncovers expert tips for diabetes self-care during the Summer months.

USA Today Best-Selling Author, Tonya Kappes, Asha Brown, Catherine Schuller, Chef Robert Lewis aka ‘The Happy Diabetic,’ Seveda Williams, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, MaryAnn Horst Nicolay, Mama Rose Marie, and Poet Lorraine Brooks help the fruit suit clad sleuth in this seaside adventure.

This year’s mystery podcast features music from the original cast recording of ‘Gypsy’ courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s Fifth Mystery Podcast: Swan Wake:

When the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic, heads to the Gotham City Ballet Company’s box office to fix a mix-up with his ‘Swan Lake’ tickets, he’s faced with an even bigger problem – a MURDER! To make matters worse, one of his latest culinary creations, a gluten-free cheesecake, seems to be covering the victim’s face. Even more shocking are the numerous scandals swirling around the Gotham City Ballet, and its members that have everyone walking around on tiptoes. Could our happy healthcare host’s wacky culinary skills make him an accessory to the crime or even a possible side dish? Now Mr. Divabetic, with the help of his team of Certified Diabetes Educators, a Best-Selling Mystery Author, and his own nosy Italian Mom, must whip up his own crime-solving recipe, and fast–before a hearty dose of intrigue and a deadly dash of danger ends his diabetes advocacy and healthy catering career once and for all.

Our Swan Wake cast features Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, We Are Diabetes organization founder Asha Brown, Seveda Williams, Catherine Schuller, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Mary Ann Nicolay MEd, DTR, Mama Rose Marie, Chef Robert Lewis aka ‘The Happy Diabetic’ and Poet Lorraine Brooks.

The podcast will feature music from Leonard Berstein’s recording of ‘Tchaikovsky: Swan Lake, Op. 20’ celebration of the centennial of America’s greatest classical composer and conductor courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s Sixth Mystery Podcast: Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondes

Enjoy Divabetic’s 6th Annual Diabetes Mystery Podcast, Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondes. The mystery is set in the fictitiously decadent world-renowned Gingerbread Men Cookie Baking Competition in New York’s Central Park Zoo. Mr. Divabetic’s healthy culinary misadventures continue in this year’s escapade as he enters the competition with headless cookies and pureed kale hot cocoa for the judges to sample. As if this dreadful combination wasn’t bad enough to land him at the bottom of the throwdown, his mother, Mama Rose Marie, is accused of poisoning one of the celebrity judges! Things go from bad to worse when the snake-phobic Mr. Divabetic hears about the giant python’s escape.

Now, the happy healthcare host must decide to face his fear of snakes and recipe rejection or throw in his apron and risk getting caught up in another murder investigation. Can Mr. Divabetic and his team of amateur sleuths hunt down the real killer and get Mama Rose Marie out of jail? Will he be the next murder victim? Can he ever create an edible recipe?

The cast of Gingerbread Men Prefers Blondes features Mama Rose Marie, Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, and MaryAnn Nicolay BA, DTR, The Happy Diabetic Chef Robert Lewis, Seveda Williams, Coach The Cure’s Trisha Artman, Jillian Walsh, Wendy Radford, Dave Jones, Lorraine Brooks, and Max Szadek.

Throughout this podcast, we will feature music from the original Broadway cast recording Gentlemen Prefer Blondes courtesy of SONY MUSIC.

Divabetic’s Seventh Mystery Podcast: Kill Me Madam

There’s a good indication that murder might be part of the recipe when Nantucket’s ten-time reigning Baking Champion’s last name is ‘Coffin.’ But resentment, greed, and Britannia’s own bad dealings turn everyone into a suspect when she’s found dead in the parking lot just before the Annual Decadents on Deck! Bake Off competition is about to kick off.

Delusional baker and amateur sleuth Mr. Divabetic is even shocked to find himself being treated as a suspect in the case by the local police after meeting her just once!

As if his life wasn’t crazy enough before, escaping a murderous mishap in New York and attempting a fresh start in Nantucket has turned into a complete and utter baking disaster now Max, along with his friends and nosy mother, have to add tracking down a murderer to his To-Do list, as well.

Can our team hunt down the real murderer before they strike again? Will he become the next victim? Can Max ever manage to bake an edible cake?

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure’s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast, we will feature music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s Eighth Mystery Podcast: A Christmas Peril

The Holidays are full of surprises— especially after Mr. Divabetic gets a new job as the pastry chef at the St. Nicholas Nursing Home in a cozy Christmas Village. But adjusting to life in a Christmas Village is not all sugarplums and candy canes. Especially when a cantankerous resident, a real-life Ebenezer Scrooge, named Mr. Pincher almost dies——shortly after eating one of Max’s peanut butter swirl brownies. Despite all of the ingredients for danger, Mr. Divabetic and our team of amateur sleuths and his overly protective mother — set out to find the real culprit in the hopes that his name isn’t on a lethal naughty list.

Our story was inspired by Kevin Houdeshell’s tragic true-life story. Thanks to the Houdeshell family for their advocacy efforts on behalf of the Emergency Insulin Act of 2019 and the emergency prescription refill legislation. Known as Kevin’s or Howdy’s Law, it allows pharmacists to dispense an emergency supply of a chronic maintenance medication if the doctor cannot be reached – a common-sense act that could save a life.

Starring Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, USA Best Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Mama Rose Marie, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Terri Seidman, Trisha Artman, Catherine Schuller, Chef Robert Lewis, Seveda Williams, and Wendy Radford. Special thanks to the Houdeshell family and Pharmacist Mandy Reece. Original music by Ivan Hampden Jr., Celine Dion’s vocals courtesy of SONY Music. Produced by Leisa Chester Weir.

In the spirit of Scrooge’s awakening at the end of Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, we encourage you to honor Christmas in your heart by living in the Past, The Present, and the Future. Try to embrace the Spirits of all Three and the lessons they teach.

Divabetic’s Ninth Mystery Podcast: Tomorrow Is Not On The Menu

Mr. Divabetic lands his to-die-for job as a caterer for the nation’s hottest health guru, Wendy Wattage’s Wellness Retreat on the Jersey Shore. Everything is hunky-dory until the body of the nasty food critic, Marilyn Macaroni, is found stabbed to death with one of Max’s new chef knives. Now he’s the prime suspect in a big, fat murder investigation! Can he and his team of friends, diabetes educators, and his nosey Italian mother, Mama Rose Marie, find the killer before the police arrive? Weight loss murder never tasted so good.

Starring Max “Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Mama Rose Marie, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Maryann Horst Nicolay MEd, NTDR, Kathie Dolgin aka ‘High Voltage,’ Seveda Williams, and Lorraine Brooks. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir. Music by Ivan Hampden Jr.

Pelvic Floor Disorders & Diabetes

The pelvic floor includes the muscles, ligaments and connective tissue in the lowest part of the pelvis. It supports your organs, including the bowel, bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum. The pelvic floor prevents these organs from falling down or out of your body. It also helps the organs function properly.

Thanks to Billie for sharing their work on Unsplash.

Mismanaged diabetes can weaken the pelvic floor muscles. A damaged pelvic floor weakens normal functioning of the bowel, bladder, uterus, vagina, and rectum can be affected. In plain English, people with mismanaged diabetes may experience an overactive bladder, poor control of sphincter muscles that surround the urethra, urine retention, and urinary tract infections.

Pelvic floor symptoms are significantly associated with reduced sexual arousal, infrequent orgasm, and painful intercourse (known in medical terms as dyspareunia).

Getting Help

There’s no question that incontinence can have a significant impact on the quality of life. Unfortunately urinary incontinence can be uncomfortable to talk about with anyone including your doctor. But talking is the first step to getting properly treated and taking back control of your life.

Once you have a conversation, your doctor may refer you to a specialist for follow-up care.

Bladder Control Quiz – Is this Happening to You?

Bladder control issues are not a normal part of aging and they are not something you have to just live with. Take control of your pelvic health by completing this short quiz to find out if its time for you to reach out for help.

TAKE QUIZ

 

The happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic explores issues of love, intimacy and diabetes on this special one hour podcast.Both type 1 and type 2 diabetes can lead to sexual health complications including vaginal dryness, sensation and performance. Up to 50% of men and 25% of women may experience some kind of sexual problem or a loss of sex drive.

Mr. Divabetic’s guests include Best-Selling Author Lisa EugeneJennifer Martsolf from Trigg Laboratories (the makers of Wet Lubricants) and Janis Roszler MS, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND (2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE).

If you or your partner is experiencing sexual difficulties, you may find it helpful to meet with a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, marriage counselor or sex therapist. These professionals can help you learn how to reduce stress and change behaviors and attitudes, particularly when impotence is caused by stress or other mental health issues.

GLAM MORE FEAR LESS: Join Divabetic’s growing Facebook and Twitter communities. We’re celebrating 10 years of presenting diabetes educational outreach that dazzles!