Let’s Talk About Sex! Book Club: The Next Chapter

Last night I took my mother to see the new film Book Club: The Next Chapter, starring Jane Fonda (85), Candice Bergen (77), Diane Keaton (77), and Mary Steenburgen (70).

I had no idea walking into the theater that this film would resolve any lingering doubts I have about publishing the soon-to-be-released Divabetic’s ebook about intimacy and diabetes for women entitled Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes by two leading experts, Janis Roszler MS, RD, LD/N, CDCES, FAND and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FAADE. Hollywood’s crude depiction of older women only fueled my desire to provide accurate, honest, and friendly help about this important topic for women with diabetes.

I enjoyed the first film and looked forward to seeing the sequel. The new movie follows the journey of four best friends as they take their book club to Italy for the fun girls’ trip they never had. But it wasn’t as good as the first film.

After the movie, we went to a piano bar for dinner. There was a group of eight older women at a nearby table. None of these women resembled the four women we saw on screen. On top of being several dress sizes smaller than the group of piano bar women, the four movie stars were crude, constantly drinking alcohol, and seemed only interested in talking or having sex.

The film’s depiction of older women could have been more realistic. What I hoped would be an empowering big-screen event for a female ensemble cast whose average age is 77 is sadly a letdown. Plus, they barely discussed any books. What made the first film so much fun was seeing these four women find ease and comfort in talking about and experiencing intimacy after reading 50 Shades Of Grey.

The Nex Chapter’s plot focuses on eternally single Vivian (Fonda) getting married, and her best pals Diane (Keaton), Sharon (Bergen), and Carol (Steenburgen) take her on a bachelorette trip to Rome, Venice, where hijinks ensue. The trip’s inspiration comes from 1988’s mystical self-help parable, the Alchemist. The movie’s plot hinges on the book’s central theme of fate versus taking control of your destiny.

Unfortunately, Hollywood thinks America’s idea of entertainment is seeing old ladies misbehaving or talking dirty. This is why I feel it’s essential to publish our book and help women of a certain age living with diabetes get honest advice about sexual health issues.

Jane Fonda’s roles lately are all crude women with filthy mouths, just like Diane Keaton’s characters are all as cooky as her wardrobe on and off-screen.

Her dialogue consists of double-entendres such as, ‘Give him his credit, he’s 2,000 years old, and he’s still hard as a rock,’ when she looks at a Roman statue.

In reality, men with diabetes are three times more likely to have erectile dysfunction (ED). Getting older doesn’t cause ED, but it does increase your chance of getting it. It would have been interesting to see her character, Vivian, find creative solutions to coping with her lover, Don Johnson’s issues if he had ED in the bedroom.

As an older actress, she seems determined to show people that women over a certain age are still sexually active singlehandedly. Her film roles, Book Club, Book Club: The Next Chapter, and 80 For Brady, seem to exist for this sole purpose. I admire her work in the TV series Grace and Frankie for how she and her co-star, Lily Tomlin, handle this subject.

But on the big screen, Jane Fonda’s characters miss the mark. Candice Bergen, whose face and shape are the most realistic depiction of actual older women, seems unconvincingly comfortable having a one-night stand in a Venetian gondola.

On the one hand, I want to say, “Good for her,” but on the other hand, I want to point out how unrealistic and irresponsible this scene is. For one thing, there’s no mention of condoms. As a gay man living in San Francisco during the height of the AIDS crisis, I was constantly told by friends and strangers to use protection. Sadly, people who gave me the advice seem to not heed it for themselves.

Statistics published in 2018 by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have shown that the number of new HIV infections is growing faster in individuals over 50 than in people 40 years and under,and HIV may be the tip of the iceberg.

Older Women and Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

The aging process also puts older adults at greater risk for STDs. The immune system declines as people age, making them more susceptible to infectious diseases.

After menopause, women’s vaginal tissues thin, and natural lubrication decreases. This can increase the risk of micro-tears and sexual transmission of certain diseases such as HIV/AIDS.

Secondly, the lack of natural lubrication, often called ‘vaginal dryness’ in older women, is common. This is especially true for women with diabetes. If you’re experiencing vaginal dryness, then sex will be painful, regardless if you’re in a bed or on a gondola.

Hollywood’s constant stream of unrealistic portrayals of real-life older women is more reason for accurate, friendly information about intimacy for women with diabetes. Hopefully, when it’s available, you will download a copy of Divabetic’s upcoming ebook, Sweet Romance, on Amazon.

Can’t wait for the book to come out? Need advice now?

Tune in to this Divabetic podcast; Mr. Divabetic explores issues of love, intimacy, and diabetes on this special one-hour podcast. Both type 1 and type 2 diabetes can lead to sexual health complications, including vaginal dryness, sensation, and performance. Up to 50% of men and 25% of women may experience some sexual problem or a loss of sex drive.

Don’t equate sexual performance with love or a fulfilling relationship; focus on letting your partner know you care and want to give pleasure as part of your relationship.

Mr. Divabetic’s Guests include Best-Selling Author Lisa Eugene, Jennifer Martsolf from Trigg Laboratories (the makers of Wet Lubricants), and Janis Roszler MS, RD, LD/N, CDCES, FAND (2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE).

Suppose you or your partner is experiencing sexual difficulties. In that case, you may find it helpful to meet with a mental health professional, such as a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, marriage counselor, or sex therapist. These professionals can help you learn how to reduce stress and change behaviors and attitudes, mainly when impotence is caused by stress or other mental health issues.

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