Tag: blame

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Ledisi’s “I Blame You” Inspires Diabetes Discussion

Music can inspire conversations about different life topics, even ones that are different from the song lyrics. For example, Ledisi’s hit song, “I Blame You,” is an upbeat track about loving someone so good that you have no choice but to keep loving them. With song lyrics, “I blame you each and every day, It’s your fault that I’m completely blown away, You’ve been building castles in the sky, A place for only you and I, I, I, I”, who wouldn’t want to be told that you make someone you love to feel loved, and feel joy, how beautiful is that? 

Words have power, especially when put to music. You can find yourself singing along to a chorus without even knowing what you’re saying. Repeated listening to a song can trigger random associations that slip into your subconscious and support or hinder your actions. This is why self-reflection is crucial. It allows us to understand how our words and thoughts impact our actions and, ultimately, our diabetes management.

Imagine if we ‘reframed’ Ledisi’s song title, which means changing the perspective or context to refer to the words you might find yourself saying about your diabetes daily. For example, instead of ‘I Blame You ‘, we could think of it as ‘It’s All My Fault’ or ‘I Gave Myself Diabetes ‘. 

Blame and shame are the two biggest culprits that often sabotage your ability to manage your self-care. It’s not hard to imagine that these negative thoughts can slip into their minds without much effort. The light might be green, but we can still see red if we’re in the midst of despair. It’s a struggle to keep the negative self-talk at bay when you find yourself in the valley rather than at the peak of the mountain top.

How can you succeed at making lifestyle changes if your starting point begins with a negative mindset? 

Regret, despair, anger, and frustration are the common emotions people experience when they’re initially diagnosed with diabetes. But here’s the thing: some people can overcome these emotional obstacles and improve their quality of life, while others cannot. 

Many people who make and sustain changes to improve their care cite their children and grandchildren for giving them a reason. Others feel they have no choice but to change and return to the quality of life they once enjoyed. 

What is your experience? We encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings about the impact of negative self-talk on your diabetes management. Your insights could be valuable to others in our community. 

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Bittersweet by Poet Lorraine Brooks

Lorraine Brooks’s poetry expresses the emotional side of living with diabetes that is often overlooked or ignored on Divabetic’s monthly podcast.

If you’re feeling angry, ashamed, or overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek help.

Bittersweet by Poet Lorraine Brooks

I have diabetes, that’s generally known,
And sometimes, there’s cause for concern.
When others assume, that what I have shown
Is reason for them to be stern.
So what makes me angry, occasionally,
Is questioning my food decisions.
It’s when people judge, even well-meaningly,
And then look at me with derision.
It’s when doctors give me a guilt-making talk,
As if I have failed in my dealing.
It’s when people think that they’re walking the walk,
But they don’t understand how I’m feeling.
I often get angry when numbers don’t jive
In spite of the effort I’m making.
When blood sugars rise to two, hundred and five,
And my carb-counting may be mistaken.
Or how about not being able to lose
Any weight, even though I am trying.
I try all the diets, end up confused,
And sometimes I just feel like crying.
I never would choose this, the way that I live,
Because of the changes required.
And I can get angry and cannot forgive,
And I can get real sick and tired.
Counting, and checking, and eating, or not,
Cooking and shopping, and staying aware…
Trying to balance the changes I’ve got,
And making the most of my need for healthcare.
I know that some people will not understand,
That sometimes I’m hurt, and I’m scared.
But all I can say is, respect who I am,
And know that some days, it’s just HARD.
So walk in your beauty, and walk in your pride,
And use all your anger as fuel.
It’s not always easy to be on this ride,
And people can often be cruel.
But also don’t let people stand in your way
And don’t let yourself get unwound.
Even if you’re not feeling completely OK,
Get off of the merry-go-round!
Focus, be thoughtful, and give it your best,
Because that’s really all you can do.
Let go, of the anger and feeling depressed…
Stand up, and enjoy being YOU!

Lorraine Brooks performs her poem on this episode of Divabetic’s podcast with musical inspiration from Evelyn “Champagne” King.

Podcast guests include Authors of Overcoming Destructive Anger , psychologist Dr. Bernard Golden, PhD, an anger management specialist, Dr. Lori Shemek PhD, Susan Weiner MS, RD, CDCES, CDN, Laura Laria MA, CASAC-T, Jill Knapp- Woolsey, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Mama Rose Marie, and the Charlie’s Angels Outreach.

Throughout the podcast, we will play selected songs from The Essential Evelyn “Champagne” King courtesy of SONY Music.

Divabetic’s podcast is a fast-paced, full-filled hour of diabetes education and wellness advice that encourages listeners to “laugh a little, learn a lot.”

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Weighing In on Divabetic’s Mystery Podcast

This past Tuesday, we presented a live performance of Divabetic’s 9th Annual Mystery podcast, Tomorrow Is Not On The Menu. The podcast is available on-demand to listen to at any time using the player below.

The goal of Tomorrow Is Not On The Menu is to empower people living with, at risk, and affected by diabetes to overcome the shame and blame associated with the disease, especially as it relates to their weight.

In a society where being thin equates with beauty, youth, intelligence, and success, there is often little sympathy or patience for people who struggle to maintain an acceptable weight.

According to statistics, more than 85% of people with type 2 diabetes are overweight, so it stands to reason that the main focus for managing Type 2 diabetes is reaching and staying at a perceived healthy weight. But it’s also important to note that people not considered overweight can still get both type 1 and type 2 diabetes. 

If you worry that you’ll never be thin enough to live well with diabetes, please be aware that there’s more to managing diabetes than the number on the scale. We urge you to seek healthcare collaborators who will listen to your concerns, answer your questions, and offer solutions to treat every number related to your diabetes accordingly.

The happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic, lands his to-die-for job as a caterer for the nation’s hottest health guru, Wendy Wattage’s Wellness Retreat on the Jersey Shore. Everything seems low pressure and low calorie until the body of the nasty food critic, Marilyn Macaroni, is found stabbed to death with one of Max’s new chef knives. Now he’s the prime suspect in a big, fat murder investigation!

Can he and his team of friends, diabetes educators, and his nosey Italian mother, Mama Rose Marie, find the killer before the police arrive? Or will he be trading his fruit suit for coveralls with stripes?

Weight loss murder never tasted so good.

Starring Mr. Divabetic, Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Mama Rose Marie, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Maryann Horst Nicolay MEd, NTDR, Kathie Dolgin aka ‘High Voltage,’ Seveda Williams, Catherine Schuller and Lorraine Brooks. Produced by Leisa Chester Weir. Special thanks to our colleague, the multi-talented Wendy Radford.

Music from The Pink Panther and The Return of The Pink Panther soundtracks by Henry Mancini courtesy of SONY Music.

 

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Language Matters in Diabetes Care with Susan Weiner MS, RDN, CDCES, FADCES

On Divabetic’s March podcast, we’re talking about how language impacts people’s confidence to manage their diabetes self-care with musical inspiration from Prince. Tune in with the link. 

Words can elevate or destroy someone’s perception of themselves and their health.

Our musical inspiration chose to be identified as the infamous “Love Symbol” rather than a word for many years. He wrote: “It’s all about thinking in new ways, tuning in 2 a new free-quency.”

Could using symbols rather than words, like Prince, help you manage your diabetes wellness?

Unfortunately, much of the language around diabetes has been focused on adverse outcomes and complications and laden with judgment and blame without considering individual needs, beliefs, and choices.

Some enlightened health professionals, like our friend, Susan Weiner MS, RDN, CDCES, FADCES choose to encourage and use collaborative messages to enhance a person’s health outcomes. “How we collaborate with people with diabetes plays an important role in treatment outcomes and the psychosocial well-being of the individuals,” says Susan.

“As health care professionals, we often want to “fix” problems and forget to “listen” to the person with the lived experience. Rather than overwhelming a person with information, she says it’s vital to listen to what is most important to an individual and discuss that issue at the beginning of the appointment or conversation. “For example, if someone is concerned that they can’t afford their medication, they will not be ready to listen to information about nutrition or physical activity. Collaboration and active listening on the part of a clinician is essential to help build a good rapport and help reduce stress for a person living with diabetes.“

We encourage you to show yourself some love!

Divabetic March podcast guests include Susan Weiner MS, RDN, CDCES, CDN, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, with music from Prince & The New Power Generation’s Love Symbol album courtesy of SONY Music.

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Fandross Festival 2018: We Believe in the ‘Power Of Love’

“When I say goodbye it is never for long

‘Cause I know our love still lives on

It will be again exactly like it was

‘Cause I believe in the Power of Love”

  • ‘Power Of Love/Love Power’ by Luther Vandross 

Divabetic is proud to partner with the Vandross Family Estate to present the inaugural Fandross Festival celebrating the musical legacy of Luther Vandross.

As much as we’re looking forward to seeing Luther’s outstanding band members and vocalists perform again and meeting fans we are more interested in helping those at risk, affected by and living with diabetes to stay happy and healthy.

Luther Vandross had over 50 people supporting him with his music but when it came to managing his type 2 diabetes, he chose to manage it alone. That was a terrible mistake because daily diabetes management is challenging as well as overwhelming for many. Don’t go it alone choose to manage your diabetes with ‘team approach’ and build your own healthcare entourage. Working with different healthcare providers, family members and friends helps you to learn in-depth information regarding their health and well-being, boost confidence and find comfort during difficult times. It also ensures that your needs are cared for and addressed.

If Luther’s music has brought joy to your life, then please take a minute to “Keep your House A Home” and learn how to prevent diabetes health-related complications (such as stroke) from occurring. The first step is learning to love yourself and your diabetes health without shame.

Are you ashamed of your diabetes? Afraid of judgment?

Denial of a diagnosis plays a significant role in why people may experience diabetes health-related complications. Ignoring your diabetes has significant repercussions. Learning to accept your diagnosis is not easy and for some, takes years. 

Here are three ways to help break the diabetes shame cycle.

1. Respond, don’t react. If your medical professionals are judgmental, consider switching. Realize that you’re in a system that creates shame. Change your mind about how you’re going to see that system.

2. Think about how to transform your behavior and why. “When we really let ourselves understand what our values are and value those things, we are less likely to call ourselves bad people,” says Joseph Nelson, a psychologist in Minneapolis and spokesperson for the American Association of Diabetes Educators. “By getting in touch with what we want in the world, we can tell ourselves that we’re OK and get rid of the shame. Value who you are, no matter what.”

3. Seek support. “Surround yourself with people who know your deeper motivation to change, who aren’t critical, and who are open enough in your relationship with them so that when they do act in a shaming way, you can approach them and tell them why what they’re saying is counterproductive,” says Ann Goebel-Fabbri, PhD, a psychologist at the Joslin Diabetes Center in Boston and an assistant professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

Fandross Festival 2018 Calendar of Events: Fandross Kick-Off Party & Live Music Tribute hosted by Alfa Anderson at Ashford & Simpson’s Sugar Bar on 5/10/18, Lisa Fischer & Grand Baton Concert with VIP Meet & Greet at the Blue Note on 5/11/18, Fandross Festival (Film & Panel Discussion) at SVA Theater on 5/12/18, Fandross ’80’s Music & Fashion Brunch featuring Catherine Schuller AICI, CIP and Dr. Beverly S. Adler PhD, CDE at Casa de Femme on 5/13/18. All tickets sold separately on Eventbrite. More event details at Divabetic.org

Enoy our Annual Luther Vandross Tribute podcast with guests include ‘Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat with Diabetes’ Author Dr. Michelle May, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, R & B Singer Alyson Williams, ‘Here & Now’ Songwriter and Entertainer Terry Steele, Seveda Williams, Luther Vandross Historian Leon Petrossian and Luther Superfan John Price. Throughout the  podcast we will be featuring selected songs from the album entitled ‘Busy Body’ courtesy of SONY Music. On ‘Busy Body’, Luther Vandross’ third album features ‘Superstar’,  ‘For the Sweetness Of Your Love’, and the duet with Dionne Warwick entitled ‘ How Many Times Can We Say Goodbye’. LISTEN NOW

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