Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 2

Wellness with a Wow

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 2

The island of Nantucket is known for its cobblestone streets and weathered grey-shingled cottages, but the island also distinguished itself for being the only place in the United States that was effectively run by women.

With their husbands out to sea for up to four years at a time, the whaling wives ran a variety of businesses located in the area known as Petticoat Row. 

Today Peggy’s Pie Shop is hosting an event for the contestants, and everyone, including Max and his pals, are eager to learn some tips that might improve their chances of winning. 

Peggy: Our goal this morning is to achieve the perfect pie crust. Too much mixing or over baking can ruin your creation. Baking is all about precision.

Tonya: So is Murder.

Max: Keep your voice down. She might hear you.

Peggy: Is there a question in the back?

Max: Yes, how can I stop my key lime pie crust from getting soggy?

Peggy:  Oh, that’s easy – you should use blind baking. Our Decadent Desserts on Deck reigning champion, Britannia Coffin, swears by it. Her award-winning pie crusts are never soggy.

Max: I’d better write this down. What is blind baking?

Peggy: Sometimes it’s called pre-baking, it’s the process of baking the pie crust without the filling. The trick is to  line the bottom of the crust with pie weights, it will prevent the pastry from puffing up in the oven.

Tonya: Excuse me, what did you say the champion’s last name is again?

Peggy: Coffin.  C-O-F-F-I-N.

Tonya: Holy Smokes, Max! I mean “Bartholomew.” This is your lucky day!

Peggy: Why’s that?

Tonya: “Bartholomew” here loves facing ‘STIFF’ competition!

Peggy: Sadly, Britannia’s not competing this year. But she has agreed to come, poles in tow, and crown our new champion.

Max: Oh, I think I met her! That sounds like the woman who sold me the food processor.

Peggy: I bet she loved your costume. She has a thing for Johnny Depp.

Max: Oh, no, I wasn’t wearing this when I met her. Why does she carry around ski poles?

Peggy: Actually, they are Nordic Walking poles. Britannia suffers from neuropathy due to her diabetes.  She uses the poles to help her maintain her balance.  Her constant pain makes her so irritable. She says it feels like she’s stepping on pins and needles when she walks.

Patricia: Chronic peripheral neuropathy is the most common diabetes health-related complication. High blood sugar levels cause damage to the nerves in the hands and feet.

MaryAnn: And it can affect every part of a person’s life; walking, sitting, and even sleeping.

Tonya: There must be something she can do.

MaryAnn: Well, believe it or not exercise can help.

Peggy: She’d laugh if you told her that. She barely leaves her home. Just standing is painful. That’s why she’s not competing this year. Are all of you competing?

Tonya: Oh no! We’re here to help Maa —- uh, “Bartholomew,” in case a dead body turns up. His baking is known for killing more than taste buds!

Peggy: Good heavens! (more shocked)

Max: Ignore her. She has a morbid sense of humor.

Peggy: We can use a few laughs. Everyone is shocked that Britannia is not defending her crown. Well, except for her arch rival, Loretta Hussey. She and her ten second-place ribbons are overjoyed!

Mama Rose Marie: Ten? Oh, that must be so frustrating to lose ten times to the same person.

Peggy: Their families have been feuding since Nantucket was the whaling capital of the world. Our yearly baking competition only fuels the fire.

Max: What about you? Are you entered?

Peggy: Ha! I’m a Professional baker. We are not allowed to compete. And anyway, I’ve got too many pie orders to fill. Right now, we really need the money. My husband Floyd’s lobster business is sinking fast and these weather conditions aren’t helping one bit.

Tonya: The storms must be really bad to scare away the lobsters.

Peggy: No, it’s the warming waters caused by climate change that are forcing our lobstermen out of business. Just like the petroleum industry destroyed whaling a century ago.

SOUND EFFECT: phone ring 

Peggy: Hello? Peggy The Perky Pie Prin- Wait, wait, what? Oh No! That’s horrible! Britannia Coffin is dead! What do you mean she was the victim of a hit and run accident?  In the Kitchen Island parking lot. Oh Dear! Now the whole competition is up in the air.

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure’s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

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