Actress Kirstie Alley, a two-time Emmy-winning actor who rose to fame with her role as Rebecca Howe in the NBC comedy series “Cheers” passed away after a brief battle with cancer. She was 71. Unfortunately, the fat shaming she received throughout her lifetime didn’t die with her.
Fat shaming pierces my heart because I witnessed how detrimental it was to my former boss, Luther Vandross‘s diabetes wellness. For years his fans commented on how much better a ‘fat Luther’ sounded versus a ‘thin Luther.’ He seemed miserable every time the scale tipped over 200 pounds. In his eyes, every professional success was overshadowed by his inability to maintain his weight loss. I felt he believed he couldn’t be happy until he lost the weight.
Thankfully a new crop of musical talent has abandoned the “if I lose weight, everything in my life will be better” belief.
Singer-songwriter Lizzo is known for telling her audiences, “go home tonight and look in the mirror and say, ‘I love you, you are beautiful, and you can do anything,’” she also often speaks publicly about the challenges she has faced in accepting her body. Lizzo is not shy about citing bullying, negative media images of women who look like her, racism, and misogyny as factors in the difficulty she experienced in coming to love herself and her body.
Her openness about coming to love herself and her body makes her one of music’s most prominent icons for body positivity. She’s happy with her shape, evident in her commercials for Peloton workout classes.
But long before Lizzo entered pop culture, Kirstie Alley made people think about fatness on TV, often at her own expense.
But whereas Lizzo appears comfortable with her shape, Kirstie Alley was in a continual battle with hers. From hawking weight loss programs, Jenny Craig and her own, to losing weight on Dancing With The Stars, Kirstie never stopped trying to change the number on the scale.
In interviews or her reality TV series, “Kirstie Alley’s Big Life,” or her TV show, “Fat Actress,” she portrayed a keen sense of self-awareness and frustration.
Who can blame her?
Who can forget the vicious way she was shamed on the cover of supermarket tabloids? I probably would have crumbled from the duress. Imagine seeing yourself and your shape chronicled every week. Hateful headlines such as: “TV bosses tell Kirstie Alley, ‘You’re too fat!’” and “She admits to gaining 30 pounds, but it’s really 50!” were commonplace.
In what I think is one of the biggest displays of personal strength, she said this constant bullying led her to lose weight.
“Honestly, I didn’t know how fat I was,” Kirstie Alley told Oprah in a 2004 appearance She claimed the media’s attention to her weight had led her to become a Jenny Craig spokeswoman. Two years later, she wore a bikini on Oprah’s show to show off her 75-pound weight loss.
Unfortunately, she gained the weight back. And because of that, we rooted for her again and again.
A few years later, she dropped 100 pounds after appearing on ‘Dancing With The Stars.’ And once again, she spoke of not feeling comfortable in her body before this weight loss: “I feel I’m back in my element. I honestly didn’t realize what I looked like,” she told “Entertainment Tonight.”
She used humor as she routinely divulged details of her diet, calorie count, and weight. But she couldn’t rid herself of the layers of shame built up over the years. In my opinion, the jury is still out on whether or not Kirstie Alley was a body-positive activist — whether she meant to be one or not! Maybe her struggle is a lesson for all of us. You can’t manage your health if you don’t love yourself the way you are today.
Some poor fools believe that making overweight people feel ashamed of their weight or eating habits may motivate them to get healthier.
However, scientific evidence confirms that nothing could be further from the truth.
Fat shaming is harmful to health and may drive weight gain.
Singer Angie Stone is a Grammy-nominated singer, songwriter, producer, actress, and mother. She was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 1999. “I was always on the go, and thought I was too busy to develop something like this,” Stone said. “I thought at the time that diabetes went along with bad habits, but I was the last one in my family to eat junk food.”
She didn’t realize that she was a perfect candidate for diabetes: She had a family history of diabetes and was fighting weight problems.
“I came to accept my diabetes when I realized just how many people around me, even in my own family, were living with diabetes,” she says. “It gave me a lot of courage to see all these people just like me, going places, involved in normal things, and I became determined to learn what I needed to better manage my diabetes.”
Guests: Poet Lorraine Brooks, PCOS Diva founder Amy Medling, Dr. Beverly S. Adler, PhD, CDE, Dr. Sara (Mandy) Reece PharmD, CDE, BC-ADM- PCOM, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, Jeff James, and Mama Rose Marie.
Throughout this podcast, we will feature songs from ‘Stone Hits: The Very Best of Angie Stone’ courtesy of SONY Music.
Yesterday I was interviewed about my experience finding my boss, Luther Vandross after he suffered a stroke in his apartment in 2003.
My memories of that day are still crystal clear. My experience fuels my passion for helping others at risk, affected by and living with diabetes, to ‘keep their house a home,’ specifically by learning how to prevent a diabetes health-related complication.
My learning curve about stroke prevention was dramatic, and I don’t wish that to be the case for anyone else.
Two minutes after Luther, who was lying on a gurney, was wheeled into emergency, the doctor came out to tell me that Luther’s stroke could be prevented. I was dumbfounded. Up until that moment, I didn’t know the link between stroke and mismanaged diabetes. I use ‘mismanaged diabetes’ because well-managed diabetes is the leading cause of nothing. In Luther’s case, he was not managing his type 2 diabetes when he suffered a stroke. Instead, numerous people and media like to solely blame his weight for the stroke. They never mention noncompliance as a risk factor too.
I assume Luther must have felt the sense of overwhelming failure after regaining 125 + pounds. Understandably, he might have avoided taking his diabetes medications, seeking out his healthcare providers, and asking for help from others. As a result, he was alone in his battle. I think that was a mistake.
Luther Vandross, at age 52, suffered a stroke on April 16, 2003. But, unfortunately, his healthy story is not unique. He suffered from diabetes and hypertension, and his weight seesawed between 180 and 320 pounds. Even the term ‘yo yo’ dieting seems a bit naive to me. Personally, I feel Luther suffered from disordered eating behavior. Most of us don’t take time to think about our eating habits like what, when, and why they eat.
Signs and symptoms of disordered eating may include, but are not limited to:
Frequent dieting, anxiety associated with specific foods, or meal skipping
Chronic weight fluctuations
Rigid rituals and routines surrounding food and exercise
Feelings of guilt and shame associated with eating
Preoccupation with food, weight, and body image that negatively impacts the quality of life
A feeling of loss of control around food, including compulsive eating habits
Using exercise, food restriction, fasting, or purging to “make up for bad foods” consumed
Disordered eating behaviors are treatable with the right resources and help. But many people who suffer from disordered eating patterns either minimize or do not fully realize the impact it has on their mental and physical health. Luther liked to joke about his eating behaviors and weight. Specifically, I feel Luther suffered from binge eating.
Binge eating disorder (BED) is characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food (often very quickly and to the point of discomfort); a feeling of a loss of control during the binge; experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterward; and not regularly using unhealthy compensatory measures (e.g., purging) to counter the binge eating. It is the most common eating disorder in the United States.
Sadly, Luther and I never discussed his type 2 diabetes beyond the need to refill a prescription. I didn’t even know he had hypertension. So do I regret that I wasn’t more involved in his diabetes self-care? Absolutely! But it seems only Cher is capable of turning back time. So my time left on earth is dedicated to sharing my experience to inspire others.
We did discuss his weight. He asked me how I managed my weight. I told him that I exercised. When he said that he didn’t exercise, I suggested that he try step aerobics. Up until that point, Luther relied on liquid diets to maintain his weight loss. Ultimately, Luther liked step aerobics so much that we traveled on tour with a step aerobics instructor.
Unfortunately, his all-or-nothing approach to diet and exercise did not help. He could not practice moderation. I don’t think he is alone in that regard. My friend, High Voltage, abstains from added sugar because she believes her body reacts to added sugar like it’s a drug. She often compares the experience of sugar cravings to cocaine addiction. High Voltage can’t have one teaspoon of sugar and stop. Unfortunately, moderation is not the cure for everyone. Sadly, we choose to beat ourselves up and others for lacking the willpower to stop eating certain foods when the real culprit could be brain chemistry.
During the interview, I was asked if Luther experienced love. Unfortunately, I think he was lacking in self-love.
“If I’m emotionally distraught, then eating is my coping mechanism,” Luther Vandross told Britain’s Q magazine in 1991. “For what ails me, it seems to be the only thing that takes the edge off the pain.”
Strokes, the third-leading cause of death for all racial and ethnic groups, killed 18,884 African-Americans in 1999.
Also, in 1999, 11,927 African-Americans died from diabetes, the sixth-leading cause of death for African-Americans.
Divabetic’s Luther Vandross Tributepodcast guests include Lisa Fischer, Jason Miles, Jeff James, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, and Chuck Flowers.
By the time Luther Vandross headed to the studio to record his fifth album Give Me the Reason in 1986, he’d become one of the most successful soul singers of the first half of the eighties. His four previous albums have been either certified platinum or double-platinum in America.
For Luther Vandross’ fifth album Give Me the Reason, the album comprised nine tracks including the hits: So Amazing, There’s Nothing Better Than Love, Stop To Love and Give Me The Reason.
Throughout the podcast, we will be featuring music from Luther Vandross’s Give Me The Reason album courtesy of SONY Music.
