whales’ teeth – Divabetic

11/30/2020

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 9

Looks like someone is coming but it’s too late to save Max. Millicent Merriweather turns around, intending to shoot our approaching team, but her numbed feet cause her to trip over a nail sticking out of the rotting deck. Peggy rushes forward and holds Millicent down as she tries to stand up. In the tussle, the stolen pearl handled pistol skids across the deck and Mama Rose Marie grabs it and points it at Millicent.

Mama Rose Marie: Where is my son?

Millicent: Swimming with the fishes.

Peggy: That’s not possible. He can’t be dead. I put blanks in that pistol after I found it behind Millicent’s cash register. Millicent is always threatening to kill anyone who uses a Groupon. There’s no way she should have access to a loaded gun.

Tonya: Look, there he is!

Narrator: Max’s head bobs up in the water. After climbing up the ladder, he is toweling off on deck.

Mama Rose Marie: Thank Goodness, you’re safe. Once you dry off, Bartholomew, you’ll be as good as new.

Max: New? Never. Different? Maybe. I’m not going to pretend to be someone else to win a contest. From now on, I’m staying true to who I am no matter how the chips may fall.

Tonya: Don’t you mean no matter how the dead bodies may fall?

Peggy: I’ve got some good news. We have a new Decadent Desserts on Deck Champion.

Max: I …I won?

Tonya: What? Was everyone else disqualified?

Peggy: I’m sorry Max – you never finished making your pie, so you WERE disqualified. But I think this check just might make up for it. Does this lift your spirits?

Max: Wow, what’s this for?

Peggy: Think of it as an advance on future pie orders. Your vegan key lime pie made with cashews and a pecan pie crust is such an interesting twist on the traditional recipe that I want to offer it to my customers.

Patricia: My patients who switch to vegan diets see their blood pressure decrease as well as their risk for heart disease.

MaryAnn: Max, you did it! You finally sold a recipe! Let’s celebrate.

Tonya: Hold your horses. We still haven’t found the stolen whales’ teeth!

Peggy: Loretta told me she hasn’t had any luck finding them.

Max: Mom, why do you have a funny look on your face?

Mama Rose Marie: We need to go check the oven.

Max: In the prep kitchen? But I turned it off before we left this morning.

Mama Rose Marie: No, no, not that oven! C’mon. Follow me.

Narrator: Mama Rose Marie leads our team back to the fabled Hussey mansion overhanging the Nantucket Sound.

SOUND EFFECT: Sea gulls

Mama Rose Marie: Peggy, didn’t you say Britannia won ten First Place ribbons with her winning pie crust? Is that right?

Peggy: Do you mean what I said about ‘blind baking’?

Max: Mom, what do her baking skills have to do with the whales’ teeth?

Mama Rose Marie: Tanya, open that oven door.

Tonya: Well, I’ll be. The stolen whales’ teeth are right here in Britannia’s pie crusts!

Peggy: Only Britannia would think to hide them there. Let me call Loretta.

Patricia: Max, please don’t get any ideas about adding whales’ teeth to your next gluten free recipe!

MaryAnn: By the look on his face. I think he’s seriously considering it.

Max: No! Look at Peggy’s check. It’s the exact amount of the entry fee for the baking contest in Martha’s Vineyard.

Mama Rose Marie: How can you think of entering another baking contest after what happened?

Max: We don’t have any choice. I gave Britannia all my cash for the food processor and I maxed out my credit cards on these pirate costumes.

Patricia: You mean we’re stuck here?

Tonya: Yippee! I’m ready to sink my teeth into another murder!

MaryAnn: Let’s just cash the check and go home.

Max: But I can make a lot more money winning the grand prize in Martha’s Vineyard with a new recipe! How about a rhubarb quinoa brownie?

Mama Rose Marie: Oh, no, here we go again!

Narrator: Another mystery solved by our crack team of amateur sleuths. We’ve all learned a few things from this story. Running away from your diabetes-related problems can lead to bigger issues. Any warning signs that something’s not right concerning your diabetes health should not be ignored.

We are always grateful to Sony Music for allowing us to feature their music. Tonight’s music was from the original Broadway recording of ‘Call Me Madam’ starring Dinah Shore.

11/03/2020

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 8

Narrator: With no time to spare before the competition’s official start, Max hurries below deck to retrieve his food processor.

SOUND EFFECT: footstep (man clopping)

Narrator: Making his way back to the deck, Max is ambushed by a woman who is blocking his path. It’s the stylish Millicent Merriweather. And she’s holding the stolen pearl handled pistol.

Millicent: Stop right there and hand over that box!

Max: This box? It’s just a kitchen appliance! Granted it has 8 speeds and reversible blades but still –

Millicent: I saw you handing cash to Britannia for that food processor in the parking lot after you left without buying anything. I searched Britannia’s trunk after I ran her over and the whales’ there weren’t there. The only place they can be is in that box.

Max: So that’s why Britannia put those Botox receipts in my pocket. She was warning me about you. They’re yours! You get Botox shots to numb your feet so you can wear sky high heels.

Millicent: It’s a small price to pay for how great my legs look in these Manolo Blahniks. Now this gun is going to eliminate another source of my pain.

Max: Wait! Those heels don’t have any scuff marks. If a robber had dragged you into the storeroom then there would at least be scuff marks or a broken heel.

Millicent: Yes, Captain Obvious, I faked the robbery to give me an alibi. Britannia Coffin betrayed me. I had no choice but to kill her. We planned this heist for months. She couldn’t pull it off alone in her condition. We agreed she would get the insurance money and I would sell the teeth to the highest bidder. I even had a buyer lined up but then she went behind my back and made a deal herself.

Max: That’s why you killed her?

Millicent: The retail business is dead thanks to Amazon. Those whales’ teeth were my ticket to a new life. After she came into my shop this morning and didn’t bring me the whales’ teeth like we’d agreed, I thought Britannia might be planning to double cross me. That’s when I called the buyer and found out she’d made a new deal with him and had cut me out. Then I remembered seeing her give you that box in the parking lot. I was heading over to her house to confront her when I saw her coming out of the Treasure Island Antique Shoppe. I just saw red!!! She was an easy target without her poles.

Max: You won’t get away with this. My friends are probably already looking for me.

Millicent: Open that box and give me what’s inside!

Max: Look! It’s only a food processor.

Millicent: I can’t see. Move your mangy stuffed parrot out of my way. Where are they?

Max: I swear I don’t know. I don’t have them. But why don’t you let me help you find them?

Millicent: Not unless they are at the bottom of the ocean. Let’s go, Jolly Roger!

Max: No, you don’t want to do this!

Millicent: You know too much! I’m going to make you walk the plank like in one of those old pirate movies. You’re already dressed for the part.

Max: You do know I can swim, right?

Millicent: Not with a bullet in you. Goodbye, Captain Bartholomew Maxwell!

SOUND EFFECT: gun shot and splash

Narrator: Max falls headfirst into the ocean with his food processor.

TO BE CONTINUED

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER – REGISTER NOW

10/29/202010/29/2020

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 5

Our team of amateur sleuths, Tonya Kappes, Mama Rose Marie, Patricia Addie-Gentle, MaryAnn Nicolay and Mr. Divabetic, heads to the Hawden House Museum to meet Loretta Hussey.

The beautiful Hawden House museum is housed in a Greek Revival mansion that was built by whaling merchant and silver retailer William Hawden. Its collection highlights the history of Nantucket through the whaling and trading industries. (Closed for the 2020 season. All Historic Property grounds and gardens are open to the public and accessible during daylight hours.)

Loretta: Hey you in the pirate costume. Put on this sandwich board to help us advertise admission.

Max: Me? Why?

Loretta: Aren’t you from the temp agency to help us sell tickets! All the whales’ teeth in our collection have been stolen. Tourists will stop coming when they find out our biggest attraction is gone!!

The first floor at the Hadwen House showcases the Nantucket Historical Association’s decorative arts. The very finest objects in the collection are on display in period rooms showcasing furniture, china and ceramics, textiles, and silver.

Tonya: Don’t you think your tourism will be more affected by Britannia Coffin’s murder?

Loretta: That woman! She’s always blamed me for what my great grandfather did.

Max: What did he do?

Loretta: According to Britannia he was responsible for the loss of her family’s whaleship Essex that left them penniless. I think she’s the one who stole the scrimshaw whales’ teeth. It makes perfect sense. They belonged to her!

Scrimshaw is the art of engraving images on ivory—whale teeth and bone and walrus tusks—a folk art practiced by men aboard whaleships during the nineteenth century. Sailors made scrimshaw in an amazing variety, including decorative objects, utilitarian devices, and jewelry. It is one of the earliest recognized American crafts and remains one of the most highly desired forms of folk art for collectors of Americana.

Max: Then why would she steal them?

Loretta: To collect the insurance money. She came in earlier today with some flimsy excuse about not liking how the whales’ teeth were displayed. She made me open the case so she could rearrange them. I’m sure she saw where I kept the keys.

Tonya: So why did you threaten her at The Kitchen Island store this morning? Didn’t you tell Britannia she would get what she deserved?

Loretta: Oh, that. I meant the baking competition. She was going to lose this time. That’s all.

Max: Really? After beating you ten times?

Loretta: Look, I’m not the only one happy that Britannia Coffin is dead. Goldie almost went bankrupt! She had so many legal bills from fighting that slip and fall scheme cooked up by Britannia and Peggy’s husband, Floyd.

Tonya: But wasn’t Britannia rich?

Loretta: Not anymore. Her last ditch efforts to save my family’s home from toppling into the Atlantic Ocean cost her a pretty penny.

Max: Peggy told us climate change was affecting the lobster business, but I didn’t realize it was also eroding the shoreline.

Loretta: It took my old neighbor’s house falling into the ocean for her to finally take action.

MaryAnn: She sounds like a lot of people living with diabetes. They put off managing their blood sugars until after they experience a serious health-related complication.

Loretta: Britannia’s problems were all her own fault! She just sat up in her house scheming and baking pie after pie after pie. Her sweet tooth led straight to her diabetes!

MaryAnn: That’s a myth! Eating too much sugar doesn’t cause diabetes. Diabetes is caused by something disrupting the body’s ability to turn the food you eat into energy.

Patricia: Couldn’t they move her house farther back from the cliff? To save it?

Loretta: Moving a large foundation like that is very expensive. It would cost millions of dollars!

Tonya: Aren’t those stolen whales’ teeth worth millions of dollars?

Loretta: They are insured for $5 million dollars to be exact. They are scrimshaw whales’ teeth intricately carved by the famous artist Frederick Myrick.

The Nantucket Historical Association‘s scrimshaw collection is considered one of the most important collections in the world. Highlights of the collection include some of the earliest and rarest sperm whale teeth, engraved by the most famous of all scrimshaw artists, Nantucketers Frederick Myrick and Edward Burdett.

Mama Rose Marie: Well, something as big and unique as that shouldn’t be too hard to find.

Loretta: Oh no, they are smaller than you think. Some are no larger than this dinner plate from our historical collection.

Max: You mean that’s not a dessert plate you’re holding? It’s so small.

Patricia: American dinner plates have gotten much larger over the years along just like portion sizes.

MaryAnn: Plate size and portion size go hand in hand. Using smaller plates is a great tactic for eating less!

Tonya: Alright, let’s get back to the robbery and the murder – are the whales’ teeth the only things missing?

Loretta: No, a pearl handled pistol was also taken. You certainly have a lot of questions.

Tonya: We’re helping the police piece together a timeline for the murder.

Loretta: I heard the police are looking for some strange guy who was in the parking lot. Apparently, he might be the killer! Hold on, let me get that police sketch.

Mama Rose Marie: Oh, Bartholomew, look at the time!! We have to get to the boat for the baking competition.

TO BE CONTINUED

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

RELATED DIABETES WELLNESS INFORMATION

The Diabetes Plate Method is an easy “formula” that helps you eat right with every bite. READ MORE

The plate method is a simple, visual way to make sure you get enough non-starchy vegetables and lean protein, and limit the amount of higher-carb food that has the greatest potential to spike your blood sugar. READ MORE

How to practice portion size. Your fist is roughly the size of a cup or a medium-size piece of fruit, such as an apple. When it comes to lean protein, the palm of your hand (without the fingers) equates to about 3 ounces of meat, seafood, or poultry. READ MORE