Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 8

Narrator: With no time to spare before the competition’s official start, Max hurries below deck to retrieve his food processor.

SOUND EFFECT: footstep (man clopping) 

Narrator: Making his way back to the deck, Max is ambushed by a woman who is blocking his path.  It’s the stylish Millicent Merriweather.  And she’s holding the stolen pearl handled pistol.

Millicent: Stop right there and hand over that box!

Max: This box? It’s just a kitchen appliance! Granted it has 8 speeds and reversible blades but still –

Millicent:  I saw you handing cash to Britannia for that food processor in the parking lot after you left without buying anything. I searched Britannia’s trunk after I ran her over and the whales’ there weren’t there.  The only place they can be is in that box.

Max: So that’s why Britannia put those Botox receipts in my pocket. She was warning me about you. They’re yours! You get Botox shots to numb your feet so you can wear sky high heels.

Millicent: It’s a small price to pay for how great my legs look in these Manolo Blahniks. Now this gun is going to eliminate another source of my pain.

Max: Wait! Those heels don’t have any scuff marks. If a robber had dragged you into the storeroom then there would at least be scuff marks or a broken heel.

Millicent: Yes, Captain Obvious, I faked the robbery to give me an alibi. Britannia Coffin betrayed me. I had no choice but to kill her. We planned this heist for months. She couldn’t pull it off alone in her condition. We agreed she would get the insurance money and I would sell the teeth to the highest bidder. I even had a buyer lined up but then she went behind my back and made a deal herself.

Max: That’s why you killed her?

Millicent: The retail business is dead thanks to Amazon. Those whales’ teeth were my ticket to a new life. After she came into my shop this morning and didn’t bring me the whales’ teeth like we’d agreed, I thought Britannia might be planning to double cross me. That’s when I called the buyer and found out she’d made a new deal with him and had cut me out. Then I remembered seeing her give you that box in the parking lot. I was heading over to her house to confront her when I saw her coming out of the Treasure Island Antique Shoppe. I just saw red!!! She was an easy target without her poles.

Max: You won’t get away with this. My friends are probably already looking for me.

Millicent: Open that box and give me what’s inside!

Max: Look! It’s only a food processor.

Millicent: I can’t see. Move your mangy stuffed parrot out of my way. Where are they?

Max: I swear I don’t know.  I don’t have them. But why don’t you let me help you find them?

Millicent: Not unless they are at the bottom of the ocean. Let’s go, Jolly Roger!

Max: No, you don’t want to do this!

Millicent: You know too much! I’m going to make you walk the plank like in one of those old pirate movies. You’re already dressed for the part.

Max: You do know I can swim, right?

Millicent: Not with a bullet in you. Goodbye, Captain Bartholomew Maxwell!

SOUND EFFECT: gun shot and splash

Narrator: Max falls headfirst into the ocean with his food processor.

TO BE CONTINUED 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

 

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER – REGISTER NOW 

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 7

With less than two hours before the official start of the competition, our amateur sleuths, attired in full pirate regalia, hurry to Britannia Coffin’s historic mansion on the cliff overlooking the ocean. They scramble over a wall of sandbags and enter through the unlocked back door.

Patricia: These gold framed portraits lining the hall must be the Hussey family ancestors.

Mama Rose Marie: And I’ll bet that room at the end of the hall is Britannia’s office.

Max: I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming here! If I get arrested, it’s all Renata Whisk’s fault!

Tonya: Renata Whisk didn’t buy the food processor – you did, Bartholomew!

Patricia: Well, Loretta is certain Britannia stole the whales’ teeth. If that’s true. They must be here somewhere.

MaryAnn: Let’s look around. Maybe they’re in one of these boxes?

Mama Rose Marie: This box is filled with insulin pens, vials and cartridges.

Max: Same with this one! Maybe she was planning to donate these supplies.

Patricia: New, unopened medical supplies can be donated to the regions impacted by natural disasters. But, you need to make sure they haven’t expired.

Tonya: Look, what’s in this box. It’s loaded with herbal medicines and supplements.

MaryAnn: It looks like she was searching for a quick fix to manage her neuropathy.

Max: She was probably hoping to use it during the competition to alleviate her foot pain.

MaryAnn: She wasted her money. There is no quick fix. The best way to help minimize pain is to stick to proper diabetes self-care management.

Mama Rose Marie: Well, we’ve searched all these boxes and there’s no sign of the whales’ teeth.

MaryAnn: Hold on, look what I found on her desk.  This stack of overdue bills explains why Britannia was so desperate for money. She must’ve spent close to a million dollars on sandbags, flood insurance and healthcare. It looks like Loretta was telling us the truth about Britannia’s money problems.

Mama Rose Marie: Hmmm, the high costs of healthcare seems unavoidable. What can you do?

Patricia: Make certain you understand all your healthcare benefits. Many people don’t know what their plans will and will not cover until it’s too late.

Max: Yeah, but check out this card I just found. It says, “This year you’ll be the one dying with envy!” And look,  it is signed by Loretta.

Patricia: That sounds like a death threat to me.

Max: Geez, some people will do just about anything to win a baking competition!

Tonya: Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

SOUND EFFECT: Footsteps (shorter) needs a crash 

Mama Rose Marie: Shush! Everyone be quiet. I think I hear someone in the hall.

Loretta:  What’s going on?  How did you get in here?

Tonya: Loretta! We can ask you the same question. You scared us half to death.

Loretta: I’m looking for the stolen whales’ teeth. I’m certain Britannia stole them to collect on the insurance.

Tonya: Well, they’re not here.

Loretta: Why should I believe you? Look at you, you’re dressed as pirates. For all I know, you helped Britannia steal the whales’ teeth.

Max: No! I’m just a baking competitor.

Tonya: You see “Bartholomew” here has a bad habit of being in the right place at the wrong time when someone gets murdered. But he’s perfectly harmless. We’re trying to solve Britannia’s murder so the police don’t arrest him.

Loretta: Then the police need to interrogate Goldie Highcastle. Britannia couldn’t have robbed the museum by herself. There are too many stairs. She had to have an accomplice.

Tonya: You think Goldie helped Britannia rob the museum?

Loretta: Britannia asked Goldie if she knew of any tycoons interested in buying ivory when we were in her store this morning.

Max: Was she talking about the whales’ teeth?

Loretta: What else? Like I said earlier, those ivory teeth are worth $5 million dollars.

Tonya: That gives Goldie another motive for murder!

Loretta: I wouldn’t put it past her. Goldie makes a living profiting off other people’s misfortunes. She probably helped Britannia steal the whales’ teeth and then killed her so she could keep the money all to herself!

Max: So … You DIDN’T kill Britannia to win the baking competition?

Loretta: You must be joking! I had to withdraw from the competition this morning to search for the whales’ teeth. But if they’re not here, where else can they be?

SOUND EFFECT: Phone rings  

Max: Hello? This is Ma-x, I mean Max-well. Bartholomew Ma –. What’s up? (Pause) Oh no! That’s terrible.

Tonya: Another murder?

Max: Worse. The finals are about to start, and I still need to finish making my pie!

TO BE CONTINUED 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

 

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER – REGISTER NOW