Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 8

Narrator: With no time to spare before the competition’s official start, Max hurries below deck to retrieve his food processor.

SOUND EFFECT: footstep (man clopping) 

Narrator: Making his way back to the deck, Max is ambushed by a woman who is blocking his path.  It’s the stylish Millicent Merriweather.  And she’s holding the stolen pearl handled pistol.

Millicent: Stop right there and hand over that box!

Max: This box? It’s just a kitchen appliance! Granted it has 8 speeds and reversible blades but still –

Millicent:  I saw you handing cash to Britannia for that food processor in the parking lot after you left without buying anything. I searched Britannia’s trunk after I ran her over and the whales’ there weren’t there.  The only place they can be is in that box.

Max: So that’s why Britannia put those Botox receipts in my pocket. She was warning me about you. They’re yours! You get Botox shots to numb your feet so you can wear sky high heels.

Millicent: It’s a small price to pay for how great my legs look in these Manolo Blahniks. Now this gun is going to eliminate another source of my pain.

Max: Wait! Those heels don’t have any scuff marks. If a robber had dragged you into the storeroom then there would at least be scuff marks or a broken heel.

Millicent: Yes, Captain Obvious, I faked the robbery to give me an alibi. Britannia Coffin betrayed me. I had no choice but to kill her. We planned this heist for months. She couldn’t pull it off alone in her condition. We agreed she would get the insurance money and I would sell the teeth to the highest bidder. I even had a buyer lined up but then she went behind my back and made a deal herself.

Max: That’s why you killed her?

Millicent: The retail business is dead thanks to Amazon. Those whales’ teeth were my ticket to a new life. After she came into my shop this morning and didn’t bring me the whales’ teeth like we’d agreed, I thought Britannia might be planning to double cross me. That’s when I called the buyer and found out she’d made a new deal with him and had cut me out. Then I remembered seeing her give you that box in the parking lot. I was heading over to her house to confront her when I saw her coming out of the Treasure Island Antique Shoppe. I just saw red!!! She was an easy target without her poles.

Max: You won’t get away with this. My friends are probably already looking for me.

Millicent: Open that box and give me what’s inside!

Max: Look! It’s only a food processor.

Millicent: I can’t see. Move your mangy stuffed parrot out of my way. Where are they?

Max: I swear I don’t know.  I don’t have them. But why don’t you let me help you find them?

Millicent: Not unless they are at the bottom of the ocean. Let’s go, Jolly Roger!

Max: No, you don’t want to do this!

Millicent: You know too much! I’m going to make you walk the plank like in one of those old pirate movies. You’re already dressed for the part.

Max: You do know I can swim, right?

Millicent: Not with a bullet in you. Goodbye, Captain Bartholomew Maxwell!

SOUND EFFECT: gun shot and splash

Narrator: Max falls headfirst into the ocean with his food processor.

TO BE CONTINUED 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

 

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

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Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 4

Before Millicent Merriweather can get a good look at Max, our team dashes out the door and runs across the parking lot to the Treasure Island Antique Shoppe, where the owner, Goldie Highcastle, is busy sweeping up shards of broken porcelain from the floor.

SOUND EFFECT: store bells

Goldie: Ahoy Maties! Welcome to Treasure Island Antique Shoppe: the finest heirlooms from the Seven Seas, at rock bottom prices guaranteed. Hey, how about a sword to go with your outfit, Mr. Tall, Dark and Haggard?

Tonya: Actually, we’re here about the murder.  Did you see what happened? Your store is awfully close to where they found Britannia Coffin’s body.

Goldie: I didn’t see a thing. But Britannia did come in here earlier. She brought me this box of sugar substitute as a peace offering. She said it spiked her blood sugars, I wonder if that’s true?

MaryAnn: Artificial sweeteners generally don’t raise blood sugars. But research shows that they can change gut bacteria with prolonged use. And that can lead to weight gain.

Goldie: Really? Why is that?

MaryAnn: Gut bacteria in your intestines digests foods and produces chemicals to help you feel full.

Patricia: Artificial sweeteners can also change your taste preferences over time increasing your desire for sweets. Lowering your stress levels and staying hydrated can help.

Goldie: But if I like something sweet. What else can I use instead of this sugar substitute?

MaryAnn: Try a plant-based sugar alternative like Stevia. Or for a little sweetness add cinnamon, especially in coffee.

Tonya: Can we get back to Britannia? Why was she here?

Goldie: Oh right, she brought in a box of things she wanted me to sell on consignment. Some of Loretta Hussey’s family antiques. I didn’t see anything I liked so she said she’d go home and come back with more.

Tonya: And what time did she come back?

Goldie: Sooner than I hoped for. All hell broke loose when she got back. Loretta Hussey was in here looking at my collection of cat o’ nine tales! I don’t know who she was planning to flog.

Mama Rose Marie: Oh, my!

Goldie: Britannia walked in smiling like a Cheshire cat. It’s as if she knew Loretta would be here. Britannia Coffin loved making Loretta’s life miserable.

Tonya: What happened?

Goldie: Well! When Loretta saw her father’s prized porcelain lobster claw was in the box of things Britannia had brought me to sell, she went berserk. She snatched it out of the box and started running for the door. Britannia tripped her with her poles and started whacking Loretta with them. But, one of her poles hit the lobster claw and shattered it into a million pieces. Loretta looked like she wanted to kill her.

Mama Rose Marie: That seems like an overreaction.

Goldie: The next thing I knew Britannia Coffin was dead.

Max: Wait, aren’t those Britannia’s walking poles in your umbrella stand? She left without them?

Goldie: Look, I had to stop her from breaking everything in the store. I wrestled them away from her.

SOUND EFFECT: Phone rings

Goldie: Excuse me. Hello, Treasure Island Antiques Shoppe where you’ll find the finest heirlooms from the Seven … Oh no! Loretta, that’s horrible!!! (to them) I can’t believe it! There’s been another robbery. Someone broke into the Hawden House Museum across the street!

TO BE CONTINUED 

 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.