8 Types of Intimacy with Janis Roszler

Photo by Shwa Hall on Unsplash

We’re talking about the 8 Types of Intimacy with special guest: Janis Roszler on Divabetic’s free Indoor Scavenger Hunt & Smoothie Party on Zoom on Thursday, July 16, 2020, 7 – 7:30 PM, EST. Register

How does the fact that you have (your partner has) diabetes affect your relationship with your partner, positively and/or negatively?

Many people readily admit that living with diabetes can complicate and strain even the most loving and open relationships. The mood swings and emotional demands of diabetes can affect relationships with friends, family, co-workers and partners. Having a chronic disease can both increase the need for emotional support and increase the potential for frustration and tension.

Photo by Shwa Hall on Unsplash
Thanks to Shwa Hall for sharing their work on Unsplash.

No two relationships are exactly alike. However, different types of relationships have certain things in common. This might mean the types of feelings involved, the style of sex and intimacy of the couple, or even whether or not they live together.

We tend to focus on the sexual component in romantic relationships whereas but there are actually 8 different types of intimacy. Learning what they are can  help you evaluate your relationship and what you can do to make your relationship a more intimate one.

8 Types of Intimacy

  1. Affection (not sexual): Thank your partner for something they do. Say, “I love you” or “I’m so glad we are together.” Give them a hug and quick kiss when they arrive home from work.
  2. Physical (not sexual): Go for a walk, swim, or bike ride together. If you have a ping pong table, challenge your partner to a game or two.
  3. Aesthetic: Go outside and watch the sunset together. Stroll through an art gallery and view the paintings. Join your partner in the den and ask Alexa to play a song you both enjoy.
  4. Spiritual: Pray or meditate together.  Discuss a spiritual topic, attend church or synagogue together
  5. Intellectual: If you share political views, discuss the 2020 election.  Or, talk about a topic you recently heard or read about.
  6. Social: Go out to a restaurant, see a movie, double date with friends, etc.
  7. Emotional: Share your feelings about something.
  8. Sexual: Shower together, share a bubble bath, or more.

Janis Roszler  MFT, RD, LD/N, CDCES, FAND will be sharing insight about the 8 types of intimacy during Divabetic’s Zoom Party. Janis is  the AADE 2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year 2008 -2009,  Board Certified Sex Therapist, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Fellow of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics and Author and/or Co-Author of: Intimacy & Diabetes (ADA, 2020); Approaches to Behavior (ADA,2015); Diabetes On Your OWN Terms (Marlowe & Company, 2007); Sex and Diabetes (ADA, 2007); The Secrets Of Living And Loving WITH Diabetes (Surrey Books, 2004).

If you have diabetes, you may be looking for guidance on this sensitive subject. Intimacy & Diabetes is here to give help and advice where you need it.

Intimacy & Diabetes by Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND; and Donna Rice, MBA, BSN, RN, CDE, FAADE. e-book: $9.99

BUY NOW

 

Very Berry Smoothie Recipe by Jill Weisenberger

Special Guest: Jill Weisenberger MS, RDN, CDCES, CHWC, FAND shared this easy, healthy  recipe on last night’s free  Divabetic’s At Home Scavenger Hunt & Smoothie Party on Zoom.

Very Berry Smoothie Recipe

Very Berry Smoothie Recipe by Jill Weisenberger 

Ingredients

  • 1 cup plain nonfat strained yogurt (Greek or Icelandic)
  • 1 cup frozen mixed berries or frozen mixed berries with cherries
  • 1 tablespoon sweetener of choice
  • 2 tablespoons nonfat milk or any tart juice (cranberry, pomegranate, cherry)

Instructions

  1. Place all ingredients in a blender or a container for an immersion blender. Process until smooth.

Nutrition Information: Serving size: 11/2 cups, Calories: 205, Carbohydrates: 30g,  Protein: 22g, Fat: 0g,  Trans Fat: 0g, Cholesterol: 0mg, Sodium: 100mg, Fiber: 5g

Click here for more Recipe Details

Do you know? Both yogurt and berries are linked to less incidence of type 2 diabetes.  

“I always recommend both foods to my clients with prediabetes. And they’re probably good for diabetes, as well.” READ MORE 

HELPFUL TIP: “When berries aren’t in season, I grab a bag of frozen mixed berries or mixed berries with cherries at the supermarket,” says Jill Weisenberger

“This is the week-by-week guide that will change your life!”

One lucky participant, Helen from Georgia, from last night’s Divabetic Zoom Party won a copy of Jill Weisenberger’s best-selling book, Diabetes Weight Loss – Week by Week.

Diabetes Weight Loss Week by Week takes you on a one-year journey to weight control while managing your blood sugar,cholesterol level and more! This best-selling book includes sample menus, recipes and tricks for the kitchen. Instead of focusing on gimmicks, you will learn the skills you need to be successful long term.

BUY NOW 

Jill Weisenberger, MS, RDN, CDE, CHWC, FAND, is a Nutrition, Culinary & Diabetes Expert, Wellcoach®-certified health and wellness coach, Freelance Writer, Registered Dietitian Nutritionist and Certified Diabetes Educator. She’s also the author of four books, including a best-seller. She’s a nationally-recognized media expert in high demand for print and online interviews, as well as corporate and one-on-one nutritional counseling. Jill’s philosophy is that nutrition science should be understandable, realistic and oh so delicious.

Looking for a fun, safe way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? 

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for Divabetic’s free, upcoming Zoom Scavenger Hunt: At Home Party on Thursday, July 16, 2020, 7 – 7:35 PM, EST.

This 35 minute virtual diabetes wellness outreach event features ‘Intimacy and Diabetes’ co-author, Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND. 

Relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even our casual relationships. Janis will answer your questions about how diabetes affects the 8 types of Intimacy: Aesthetic, Spiritual, Intellectual, Social, Emotional, Affection, Physical, and Sexual.

Janis Roszler is the 2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE).  She is a licensed marriage and family therapist, board certified sex therapist, registered dietitian, and award-winning medical media producer. Her books include  Intimacy & Diabetes (ADA, 2020); Approaches to Behavior (ADA,2015); Diabetes On Your OWN Terms (Marlowe & Company, 2007); Sex and Diabetes (ADA, 2007); The Secrets Of Living And Loving with Diabetes (Surrey Books, 2004).

Divabetic’s Free Virtual Scavenger Hunt: At Home Party on Zoom on Thursday, July 18, 2020, 7 – 7:35 PM, EST. Once you register you will receive a Zoom code. If you’ve never used Zoom, you will need a few minutes before the start of our outreach event to download the app and log in.

REGISTER NOW

Thank you to everyone who has taken measures to protect our Divabetic community members and their loved ones by wearing cloth face coverings and social distancing. We are so grateful! Divabetic will continue to provide free Virtual Diabetes Outreach events with qualified health experts to keep you safe, informed and connected. Please join us!

We’re talking about ‘ROMANCE & DIABETES’ on this episode of Divabetic’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast with musical inspiration from Camila Cabello.

Obesity Rises As Diabetes Rates Drop – What’s Going On?

CNBC reports the number of new diabetes cases among U.S. adults keeps falling, even as obesity rates climb, and health officials aren’t sure why. 

“The bottom line is we don’t know for sure what’s driving these trends,” said the lead author of the new report, Dr. Stephen Benoit of the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

One reason explaining the drop off could be that the diagnostic threshold for diabetes was lowered in the late 1990s. 

“We might have mined out a lot of the previously unrecognized cases” and so new diagnoses in the last several years are more likely to be actual new illnesses, said Dr. John Buse, a University of North Carolina diabetes expert.

Additionally the hemoglobin A1C blood test used to diagnose diabetes is much easier to use than previous tests that required patients to fast for 12 hours or to undergo repeated blood draws.

New federal data released Tuesday found the number of new diabetes diagnoses fell to about 1.3 million in 2017, down from 1.7 million in 2009.

Mr. Divabetic takes a ’50 Shades of Gray’ approach to talking about diabetes and aging during this lively hour of diabetes education and empowerment. 

As you age, you may be most aware of your new gray hairs and wrinkles, but aging causes changes throughout the entire body. 

It used to be said that having diabetes aged people an additional 20 years. Today, thanks to better tools for managing diabetes and preventing and treating its complications, people with diabetes have the opportunity to live longer than ever before. 

However, managing diabetes in the golden years presents a variety of challenges, ranging from increased insulin resistance and weight gain to sexual health issues and depression.

Guests include Dr. Andrea Chisholm MD, FACOG, OB-GYN, “How To Fight FATflammation!”,  Author  Lori Shemek PhD, The Secrets to Living and Loving With Diabetes” and “Sex and Diabetes: For Him and For Her” Janis Roszler, MS, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND  2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE), Humorist and Author “The Sweet Blessing: MyAdventures in Diabetes” Trisha Porretti RN, BSN, CDE. 

Throughout the podcast we will be playing selected songs from Mariah Carey’s “Merry Christmas’ album courtesy of SONY Music. 

Aging is inevitable — even botox can’t turn back the clock permanently. However, you do have a choice over how you’ll spend your twilight years. By doing everything you can to take care of your body and mind, you can help live a full, meaningful, and energetic life.

LISTEN NOW

Can I Lose Sensation in My Clitoris and Vagina?

Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND  shares answers to our sexual health and intimacy questions on May’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast. LISTEN NOW.

One listener, Meghan from Alberta, Canada, who is living with type 1 diabetes, wants to know if her neuropathy can cause her to lose sensation in her clitoris and vagina.  If so, what can she do?

Janis Roszler’s response: It is possible for neuropathy to cause a loss of sensation in numerous areas of your body, but diabetes-related female sexual issues tend to be more likely when psychological issues are present. Unlike men with diabetes who may develop erection problems when they have neuropathy and heart complications, women’s sexual problems seem to be more linked to depression and other emotional challenges.

If you have lost some feeling in your clitoris and vaginal area, treat any depression that you may have.  Explore ways to reduce the stress in your life and intimate relationship.  Maintaining your blood sugar level in a healthy range can help you feel less stressed and more energized – work with your healthcare team to achieve that.  Also, when engaging in sexual activities, don’t hesitate to use a lubricant that is made for vaginal use.  It can help you enjoy greater sexual pleasure with less discomfort.

Sex is an important part of life and relationships. But diabetes can affect a woman’s sex life. Some women with diabetes have less interest in sex because of depression or changes in blood glucose levels that can leave them feeling tired or irritable. Or perhaps intercourse is painful because of vaginal dryness. Problems with having sex aren’t a normal part of getting older and don’t happen to all women who have diabetes.

If you find that you don’t enjoy sex anymore, it’s normal to feel upset. Find someone on your health care team to talk with. Learn about medicines or counseling that can help.

Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND PhD is a candidate in Clinical Sexology, 2008-2009 Diabetes Educator of the Year (AADE) , Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and Fellow of the Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics. Janis is the author and co-author of: Approaches to Behavior – Changing the dynamic between patients and professionals in diabetes care and education (ADA,2015); Diabetes On Your OWN Terms (Marlowe & Company, 2007); Sex and Diabetes (ADA, 2007); The Secrets Of Living And Loving WITH Diabetes (Surrey Books, 2004).

Janis Roszler’s  Sex & Diabetes is the first book ever to deal exclusively with sexual problems as they relate to diabetes— and the only book to discuss issues that relate to both men and women. It also shows you how sexual problems can be prevented or delayed and discusses treatments options that currently exist. Sex & Diabetes highlights the value of communication between sexual partners and the importance of having an open relationship with healthcare professionals.

In The Secrets of Living and Loving with Diabetes three experts deliver advice on issues such as handling nagging friends and relatives, injecting insulin discreetly while dining out, bringing up the subject of blood sugar highs and lows before turning out the bedroom lights, and avoiding diabetes urgencies becoming emergencies. Also included are practical tools like exercises, quizzes, questions, checklists, and coping strategies.

We’re talking about secret, hush hush topics in diabetes wellness such as intimacy issues, fears and food issues on Diabetes Late Nite with musical inspiration from H.E.R. courtesy of SONY Music. 

H.E.R. chooses to keep her identity a secret but that’s proving harder to do after winning Best New Artist and Best R&B Song Grammy Awards this past year. Mr. Divabetic’s guests include Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND, Cheryl Farley “Food as Medicine” Nutritionist, Dr. Dugan Maddux and the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach.

Throughout the podcast we will be playing music from H.E.R.’s I Used To Know Her: The Prelude album courtesy of SONY Music. 

Diabetes Late Nite is a fast-paced, full-filled hour of diabetes education and wellness advice that encourages listeners to “laugh a little, learn a lot’.

‘Couples & Diabetes’ with Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND

We’re talking about ‘COUPLES  & DIABETES’ on February’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast on Tuesday, February, 13, 2018. 6 – 7:30 PM, EST.

How we deal with the pressures of diabetes can make a real difference to the relationships we have with others including friends, family, work colleagues or one off acquaintances.

I reached out to my friend, and colleague, Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND, who is  a Certified Diabetes Educator and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for her advice on the subject in an exclusive interview for the Divabetic community.  

Q: What are the common do’s and don’ts for engaging your spouse in your diabetes care?

Janis Roszler (JR): Ask, don’t assume.  Ask your partner if they would like your help.    If they say yes, ask what they would like you to do. 

(JR): Learn about diabetes.  The more you know, the more comfortable you are likely to feel.  For example, your partner’s occasional high blood sugar level is not a problem. Complications develop when blood sugar levels remains high for an extended period of time.

(JR): Don’t be offended if your partner turns down your offer to help.  Many people prefer to do certain tasks themselves. 

(JR): Don’t enter the “parent trap.”  You don’t want to turn into your partner’s nagging mother or father! Calmly share your concerns then ask how you can help. 

Q: What is helpful and not helpful in their interactions with each other?

(JR): Watch your non-verbal communication.  Rolling your eyes or turning away communicates a negative message as clearly as yelling.  When you speak to your partner, turn your body towards them, employ good eye contact and listen to what they say.  Don’t think about your response while they are speaking.  Good listening communicates heartfelt concern.

Q: What advice can you give spouses/partners who argue about diabetes?

(JR): Most couples fight.  The trick is to fight fair and repair hurt feelings at the end of the argument.  Here are some rules for fighting fair:

Make an appointment to discuss the issue.  Find a time when you both aren’t distracted.

Stay on topic.  If you are upset about a certain problem, don’t bring up other issues that also bother you.

Don’t bring up the past.  Avoid phrases like “you always…” or “you never…”  They make people feel attacked.

Focus on the problem, not the person.  Don’t call your partner stupid, forgetful or any other negative term.  That can cause hurt feelings and prompt your partner to attack you back. The problem is the issue, not your partner.

If things get heated, take a break. When people feel angry or attacked, they stop listening. They also have a harder time feeling compassion. If things get out of hand, take a break. Set a time to resume the discussion.

End in a supportive way. After the fight, try to connect in a loving way.  Hug, laugh, go for a walk, etc.  Invest in your relationship.

Q: What advice can you give to spouses/partners of people with diabetes who don’t want to manage their diabetes?

(JR): You can’t control another person’s behavior.  Let your partner know that you are there for them, but try not to nag or guilt them into changing their behavior.  It will only stress your relationship. It is hard to watch someone ignore or mismanage their health.  If watching them becomes too overwhelming, meet with a therapist who can help you deal with the situation.

Q: What advice can you give to spouses who may be afraid that their partners will develop diabetes health-related complications?

(JR): The good news is that people who manage their diabetes well dramatically reduce their risk of complications.  Discuss how you can support their efforts to stay healthy.  If they are open to it, join them at a diabetes class or appointment with their health provider, so you can learn what they need and how you may be able to help.

Q: Hypoglycemia is upsetting, both for people with diabetes and their partners. Both get scared, both get frustrated, and both can get angry, at each other and at the diabetes. What advice can you offer on this subject?

(JR): Create a diabetes emergency plan before a problem develops.  Which snacks should be in the house?  What should you say if you think your partner’s blood sugar is dropping? If your partner wears a pump and has an unexpected blood sugar swing, what should you do?  Etc. If you have unanswered questions, join your loved one at an upcoming appointment with their healthcare provider and ask what they suggest. 

Q:  Many people use glucose monitoring devices that can share data. Are there any guidelines for partners who monitor their spouse’s blood sugar data on their iPhones, etc.?

(JR): Some people feel great comfort knowing that their partner is watching their blood sugar level.  Others prefer to keep these results private.  Ask how your partner feels about sharing this information.  If you see that their blood sugar level is going out of range, how would they like you to communicate this information?  When should you tell them?  This is all very personal and should be discussed before the situation arises.

Q:  Divabetic is honored to  participate in Diabetes Podcast Week  to raise awareness for the ‘Spare a Rose, Save A Child’ campaign. This a wonderful cause encourages people to take the typical “dozen roses,” so popular on Valentine’s Day, and donate the value of one rose to help save the life of a child living with diabetes in developing countries. (The International Diabetes Foundation estimates that there almost 500,000 children under 15 years with type 1 diabetes. Lack of access to insulin remains a common cause of death in a child with diabetes.) Make your donation tonight by visiting the International Diabetes Federation (idf.org).

In the spirit of Diabetes Podcast Week, I’d like to ask you what some guidelines are for creating boundaries between parents and children with diabetes?

(JR): Visit the Children with Diabetes organization (childrenwithdiabetes.com).  They run wonderful programs and offer online support for parents of children who have diabetes. Learn how other parents handle boundary issues.  If your child is ready, encourage them to gradually start to do age appropriate self-care tasks, so they can become more independent.  Let them know that they can come to you if any task doesn’t go as planned. 

Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND is a registered dietitian, certified diabetes educator, and insulin pump trainer. She is the author of several books as well as the popular Dear Janis column in Diabetes Positive! Magazine and contributes to Diabetes Health, Diabetes Forecast, Diabetes Interview, and Diabetes Self-Management . She is also a speaker on diabetes-related topics and has appeared on numerous radio programs and Internet webcasts.

 

 

 

The Secrets of Living and Loving with Diabetes helps readers gain control of their diabetes and reach a new level of confidence in their relationships.

In this book, three experts deliver advice on issues such as handling nagging friends and relatives, injecting insulin discreetly while dining out, bringing up the subject of blood sugar highs and lows before turning out the bedroom lights, and avoiding diabetes urgencies becoming emergencies. Also included are practical tools like exercises, quizzes, questions, checklists, and coping strategies.

One of Janis Roszler’s other books, Sex & Diabetes is the first book ever to deal exclusively with sexual problems as they relate to diabetes— and the only book to discuss issues that relate to both men and women.

It also shows you how sexual problems can be prevented or delayed and discusses treatments options that currently exist. Sex & Diabetes highlights the value of communication between sexual partners and the importance of having an open relationship with healthcare professionals.

TUNE IN: Diabetes Late Nite inspired by Faith Hill & Tim McGraw on Tuesday, February 13, 2018, 6 PM, EST. Throughout this podcast we will be playing selected songs from Tim McGraw & Faith Hill’s ‘Rest Of Our Lives’ album courtesy of SONY Music. Guests include Poet Lorraine Brooks, Jaye O’Grey, Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND, and the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach featuring Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE.