Tag: self-worth

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Negative Talk We Say To Ourselves Is Not A Secret

The words we say to ourselves are the most harmful. 
Negative talk we repeatedly say to ourselves goes deep to our core. Unintentionally these repeated hurtful phrases playing inside our minds stop us from achieving our health goals. Moreover, every insult we say to ourselves chips away bit by bit at our self-confidence until it’s gone.

My big takeaway from Valerie Bertinelli’s recent confessional video about body shaming is that the voice inside Valerie’s head is probably much more toxic than comments posted by strangers. Valerie, like the rest of us, is capable of being her own worst enemy at times. Our internal conversation and negative thoughts can be extremely limiting.

I assume her tearful reaction to the comments posted about her weight confirmed her worse fears about herself.

“You have to separate who you are from your weight,” says my friend and colleague, Dr. Beverly S. “Dr. Bev” Adler, Ph.D., CDCES. I’m paraphrasing her words, but she added, “You are not your weight.” Dr. Bev is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Diabetes Care & Education Specialist, Author, and Speaker who specializes in treating the emotional issues of people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes.  Dr. Bev has been a frequent guest on Divabetic’s popular monthly podcasts.  Most notably, she appeared on a series of Diabetes podcasts spotlighting the five stages of accepting a diabetes diagnosis.

Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel we aren’t good enough (young enough, tall enough, skinny enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc.) we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. But the truth is that we are all good enough and worthy of receiving what we want in life.

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

Instead of saying, “I am not good enough,” tell yourself that you are worthy, just like everyone else

Here’s my story:

I know that from personal experience that we can defeat ourselves before we even try. I let my psoriasis stop me from going to the beach or, more specifically, Asbury Park, NJ because I thought my psoriasis patches were so unsightly. Finally, after several years of avoiding the beach, I agreed to go with friends. At the time, several patches of psoriasis on my torso were visible. I felt uncomfortable taking off my shirt in public and exposing my psoriasis, but it was too hot to keep in on. I barely had my shirt off when my biggest fear became a reality. A woman I didn’t know approached me on the beach, pointed at my patches, and told me that my patches looked ugly. I couldn’t believe she said aloud what I had been telling myself for years. But in a moment, I realized what she said wasn’t nearly as bad as what I said to myself. I described my psoriasis patches as ‘horrible’ and ‘disgusting’. The word she used ‘ugly,’ by comparison, is lightweight to the terms I choose to tell myself. My mood quickly changed. I wasn’t going to let some small-minded person stop me from enjoyment.

Looking back, I’m so grateful for that brief interaction in Asbury Park. It made me realize that the only person who could stop me from doing the things I loved was myself. We need to love ourselves unconditionally. It’s not easy but if you ease up on yourself and sprinkled words of kindness into your daily thoughts you’ll be surprised by the results. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and, therefore, what we do in life. Don’t limit yourself or your dazzle! See you on the beach!

3 Simple Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Unconditionally from Vunela
  1. Give yourself permission to follow your heart.
  2. Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
  3. Show love and kindness to others.

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy” — Kristin Chenoweth

We’re celebrating Divabetic’s 11th Podcast Anniversary with musical inspiration from Toni Braxton.

The seven-time Grammy Award-winner has sold over 70 million records and is one of the best-selling R&B artists of all time.

We are featuring music from Toni Braxton’s multi-platinum second album, “Secrets”. This year marks the 25th Anniversary of its release. Toni has said about her sophomore album: “The motivation for this album was to include a little bit of everything. Our aim was to come up with material that would have a familiar ‘feel’ to the people who bought the first album without being musically redundant.”

The album’s first single, “You’re Makin’ Me High” became her first #1 hit on the Hot 100 singles chart.

The album’s second single, penned by Diane Warren, “Un-Break My Heart” became Toni Braxton’s biggest hit spending eleven weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 and also topping the Hot Dance Singles Sales chart.

Other album singles include “I Don’t Want To”/”I Love Me Some Him” (which peaked at number one on the Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart) and “How Could an Angel Break My Heart”.

When Toni Braxton was first diagnosed with systemic lupus in 2008, her doctors told her that she would need a heart transplant and might not ever perform again.

“I remember being petrified,” she said. “I was scared. I didn’t know anything about lupus.”

Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect the joints, skin, brain, lungs, kidneys, and blood vessels. It can also lead to heart disease and kidney disease.

Insulin resistance is increased in people with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE).  Insulin resistance occurs when excess glucose in the blood reduces the ability of the cells to absorb and use blood sugar for energy. This increases the risk of developing prediabetes, and eventually, type 2 diabetes.

July’s podcast guests include Dr. Sara Reece, PharmD – NGMC, GME, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Keith Anthony Fluitt, and Sonya Hogans. Hosted by Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek.

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Valerie Bertinelli Tearfully Slams A Troll Over Weight Diss: ‘Tired Of Body Shaming’

Valerie Bertinelli confessed she made the ‘mistake’ of reading some ‘comments’ online about her weight as she clapped back with a powerful video message. Valerie Bertinelli is done with body shaming.

The 61-year-old took to social media to clap back at a comment made about her weight with an emotional video where she confessed being “vulnerable” was difficult. “When you see somebody who has put some weight on, my first thought is that person is obviously going through some things because if I could lose the weight and keep it off, I would,” she said in the Instagram post shared on Friday, July 9, responding to “someone” who “pointed out” out she “needed” to lose some pounds. “But since I haven’t been successful with that my whole entire life, at 61 I’m still dealing with [it],” she said through tears as she spoke to the camera, makeup-free. “You think I’m not tired of it, lady? Where’s the compassion. You think a stupid little comment like ‘you need to lose weight’ — not f***

Yes! Valerie Bertinelli responds to weight-shaming and we love her for it!!! Judging a person does not define who they are, it defines who you are! No one should sacrifice their mental health to live up to someone else’s expectations.
According to Healthline, body-shaming “involves criticizing and harassing overweight people about their weight or eating habits to make them feel ashamed of themselves,” with the intent to “motivate people to eat less, exercise more, and lose weight.”
Some believe that making others feel ashamed of their weight or eating habits may motivate them to get healthier. However, scientific evidence confirms that nothing could be further from the truth.
If you are going through these same things, remember you are not alone. Actress Emma Stone said, “There’s a sense that we’re all ‘too’ something, and we’re all not enough. This is life. Our bodies change. Our minds change. Our hearts change.”

Body Shaming Yourself

A social media troll body-shamed actress Valerie Bertinelli but most of the time we body shame ourselves. The worst part is that when we talk to ourselves we use much more toxic language than Valerie’s troll did.
Self-shaming is a destructive mindset. When we body shame ourselves we are working against our bodies and putting obstacles from attaining our diabetes health goals, and our overall sense of well-being.
“We know that people who experience body shaming are at a much higher risk for both depression and anxiety disorders,” said  A. Janet Tomiyama, an associate professor of health psychology at the University of California at Los Angeles in Washington Post. “It’s easy to see how feeling bad about yourself could lead to more serious emotional troubles.”
One way to break the cycle of negative talk is to write down everything your body does for you. Going forward, every time you experience a negative thought about your body, try to replace it with something from your gratitude list. If you started to spiral into shame, quickly correct yourself.

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Embracing Your Body & Your Diabetes

“I would look in the mirror, and I didn’t feel beautiful,” says singer Elle King about the insecurities she felt as a teen.

The “Ex’s and Oh’s” Grammy Nominated singer felt pressures to measure up to conventional beauty standards. But her mother, model London King, encouraged her to accept herself.

“My mom always raised me to love myself; she always told me I was beautiful,” King adds in the video reports PEOPLE magazine. “You’ll never feel beautiful unless you believe it inside. I had to go on my own journey to find that.”

Elle King’s personal journey to self-acceptance meant focusing on her passion for creativity, from writing songs — to experimenting with body art.

“I don’t sing, walk, talk, act like anyone else. That’s what I think is beautiful: People that stand out. Because if we all looked the same, I think the world would be a really boring place.”

Today, the singer has about 50 tattoos, which are inspired by her adventures in life and love.

Don’t Get Down, Get DIVA!

Research shows that self-esteem can be a key factor influencing health care behaviors.

Let our Diva Inspiration Elle King’s journey inspire you to see the beauty inside of you. Recognize that your body is your own, no matter what shape or size – focus on how strong and healthy you are!

Diva Inspiration Elle King says she doesn’t believe you can love another person or be in love unless you love yourself. We wholeheartedly agree and hope her music  inspires you to love yourself just the way you are!

Guests include Dr. Lori Shemek PhD, We Are Diabetes founder, Asha Brown, Author Ginger Vieria, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller AICI, CIP and Mama Rose Marie. Hosted by Mr. Divabetic.

Throughout this Diabetes Late Nite podcast we are playing selected cuts from Elle King’s “LOVE STUFF” courtesy of SONY MUSIC.

Note: Elle King is not living with diabetes. However, she has battled substance abuse, depression and PTSD. Today, having made it through the darkness, Elle King shares her story on her album, Shake the Spirit to help inspire others. We hope she can inspire you to ‘GLAM MORE, FEAR LESS.’

Elle King adds, “I’ve changed a lot. I’m finding my own self-love, and I’m inviting love, outwardly in. … You can go through something crazy in your life, and you can come back from it.”

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Jessye Norman Is Our Diva Of The Month in March!

“A person has the right, and I think the responsibility, to develop all of their talents” – Jessye Norman.

Vocalist Jessye Norman was indisputably one of the major artists of our time. A triumphant career associated with the highest level of music making has led to many honors and awards, including the Kennedy Center Honors, the National Medal of Arts, the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award, the Glenn Gould Prize for Music, and more than 40 honorary doctorates.

Unfortunately Jessye Norman’s size and girth were big points of conversation for listeners and reviewers alike dating back to the 1970’s. She was referred to as “a woman of generous proportions with voice to match,” and “an entire orchestra in person”.
Jessye Norman candidly said, “dress size has nothing to do with opera singing” in an interview. “And certainly there were those instances when singers were told they need to fit into a certain size dress. Of course, women. Men? They just make the costume bigger.”
It has never been reported that Jessye Norman was living with or affected by diabetes during her lifetime. However, we still admire her for standing up to criticism and being a strong, independent woman and trailblazer.  She didn’t let people’s meanspirited comments stop her from being who she was! She lived her life to the fullest and continued to challenge herself as an artist.

How do you deal with criticism about your size and/or weight?

Unfortunately insults, criticisms, and hidden messages often make us awful about ourselves. Especially if they are being said by someone close to us.
People who comment on how you look are really just offering insight into  how little they would value themselves if they looked different. People who worry a lot about putting on weight might actually be afraid that they won’t be loveable if they don’t conform. They don’t trust that they are good enough regardless of how they look. In this case, their comments can make you appreciate that you don’t have the same insecurities that they do. 
Reflecting on how you respond to criticism will make you better at addressing criticism the next time. As the old adage goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.
Sometimes, someone’s criticism towards you has nothing to do with you. If a stranger is criticizing you on social media, for example, sometimes it is best not to respond.

Oprah Winfrey learned to not ask herself, “What’s wrong with that person?”but rather, what happened to that person?”

We also like to recommend building a really good self care routine to boost your self esteem and happiness as these will give you resilience to any criticism too.

Tune in to Divabetic’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast on Tuesday, March 9, 2021, 6 – 7:30 PM. EST. We’re talking about weight loss drugs, how to maximize your metabolism, self-love, and heart health makeovers with music from Jessye Norman.
Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE offers her opinions on the top home blood pressure monitors.
Pharmacist and Certified Diabetes Care & Education Specialists Mandy Reece PharmD CDCES, BC-ADM, BCACP, FADCES provides insight on the effectiveness and side effects of weight loss drugs including iraglutide, and semaglutide.
“Maximize Your Metabolism: Lifelong Solutions to Lose Weight, Restore Energy, and Prevent Disease” Co-Authors Dr. Noel Maclaren and Sunita Singh Maclaren discuss how brain health is related to insulin resistance.
American Heart Association’s Know Diabetes By Heart Ambassador, Sarah B. shares why her mindset about her health changed after her husband’s death and how she came to adopt the motto: “We have a habit of putting limits on ourselves. We need to push beyond them.”
Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from Jessye Norman’s Roots: My Life, My Song (Live at The Philharmonie Berlin) album courtesy of SONY Music.
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