Negative Talk We Say To Ourselves Is Not A Secret

The words we say to ourselves are the most harmful.

Negative talk we repeatedly say to ourselves goes deep to our core. Unintentionally these repeated hurtful phrases playing inside our minds stop us from achieving our health goals. Moreover, every insult we say to ourselves chips away bit by bit at our self-confidence until it’s gone.

My big takeaway from Valerie Bertinelli’s recent confessional video about body shaming is that the voice inside Valerie’s head is probably much more toxic than comments posted by strangers. Valerie, like the rest of us, is capable of being her own worst enemy at times. Our internal conversation and negative thoughts can be extremely limiting.

I assume her tearful reaction to the comments posted about her weight confirmed her worse fears about herself.

“You have to separate who you are from your weight,” says my friend and colleague, Dr. Beverly S. “Dr. Bev” Adler, Ph.D., CDCES. I’m paraphrasing her words, but she added, “You are not your weight.” Dr. Bev is a licensed Clinical Psychologist, Certified Diabetes Care & Education Specialist, Author, and Speaker who specializes in treating the emotional issues of people with type 1 and type 2 diabetes. Dr. Bev has been a frequent guest on Divabetic’s popular monthly podcasts. Most notably, she appeared on a series of Diabetes podcasts spotlighting the five stages of accepting a diabetes diagnosis.

Have you ever thought that you weren’t good enough? When we feel we aren’t good enough (young enough, tall enough, skinny enough, smart enough, attractive enough, etc.) we tend to drown in this emotion of self-doubt and pity. But the truth is that we are all good enough and worthy of receiving what we want in life.

Instead of saying, “I am not good enough,” tell yourself that you are worthy, just like everyone else

Here’s my story:

I know that from personal experience that we can defeat ourselves before we even try. I let my psoriasis stop me from going to the beach or, more specifically, Asbury Park, NJ because I thought my psoriasis patches were so unsightly. Finally, after several years of avoiding the beach, I agreed to go with friends. At the time, several patches of psoriasis on my torso were visible. I felt uncomfortable taking off my shirt in public and exposing my psoriasis, but it was too hot to keep in on. I barely had my shirt off when my biggest fear became a reality. A woman I didn’t know approached me on the beach, pointed at my patches, and told me that my patches looked ugly. I couldn’t believe she said aloud what I had been telling myself for years. But in a moment, I realized what she said wasn’t nearly as bad as what I said to myself. I described my psoriasis patches as ‘horrible’ and ‘disgusting’. The word she used ‘ugly,’ by comparison, is lightweight to the terms I choose to tell myself. My mood quickly changed. I wasn’t going to let some small-minded person stop me from enjoyment.

Looking back, I’m so grateful for that brief interaction in Asbury Park. It made me realize that the only person who could stop me from doing the things I loved was myself. We need to love ourselves unconditionally. It’s not easy but if you ease up on yourself and sprinkled words of kindness into your daily thoughts you’ll be surprised by the results. Our thoughts directly affect how we feel and, therefore, what we do in life. Don’t limit yourself or your dazzle! See you on the beach!

3 Simple Ways You Can Start Loving Yourself Unconditionally from Vunela

Give yourself permission to follow your heart.
Forgive yourself for past mistakes.
Show love and kindness to others.

“If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy” — Kristin Chenoweth

We’re celebrating Divabetic’s 11th Podcast Anniversary with musical inspiration from Toni Braxton.

The seven-time Grammy Award-winner has sold over 70 million records and is one of the best-selling R&B artists of all time.

We are featuring music from Toni Braxton’s multi-platinum second album, “Secrets”. This year marks the 25th Anniversary of its release. Toni has said about her sophomore album: “The motivation for this album was to include a little bit of everything. Our aim was to come up with material that would have a familiar ‘feel’ to the people who bought the first album without being musically redundant.”

The album’s first single, “You’re Makin’ Me High” became her first #1 hit on the Hot 100 singles chart.

The album’s second single, penned by Diane Warren, “Un-Break My Heart” became Toni Braxton’s biggest hit spending eleven weeks at #1 on the Hot 100 and also topping the Hot Dance Singles Sales chart.

Other album singles include “I Don’t Want To”/”I Love Me Some Him” (which peaked at number one on the Hot Dance Music/Club Play chart) and “How Could an Angel Break My Heart”.

When Toni Braxton was first diagnosed with systemic lupus in 2008, her doctors told her that she would need a heart transplant and might not ever perform again.

“I remember being petrified,” she said. “I was scared. I didn’t know anything about lupus.”

Lupus is an autoimmune disease that can affect the joints, skin, brain, lungs, kidneys, and blood vessels. It can also lead to heart disease and kidney disease.

Insulin resistance is increased in people with systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE). Insulin resistance occurs when excess glucose in the blood reduces the ability of the cells to absorb and use blood sugar for energy. This increases the risk of developing prediabetes, and eventually, type 2 diabetes.

July’s podcast guests include Dr. Sara Reece, PharmD – NGMC, GME, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, Keith Anthony Fluitt, and Sonya Hogans. Hosted by Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek.

03/12/202103/17/2021

Free Divabetic Outreach Program on Zoom in April

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, virtual diabetes support program on Thursday, April 15, 2021, 7-8 PM. Click here to register

April’s program features two presentations: ‘What To Wear When Nothing Fits’ presented by Divabetic Image & Style Advisor, Catherine Schuller and ‘What To Eat When Dining Out Mexican’ presented by MaryAnn Nicolay MEd, NDTR.

What To Wear When Nothing Fits

We want to help you embrace the body you have now. Don’t put off looking great and feeling like yourself in your clothes until that elusive one day you hit your goal weight. One tip that style experts advise is to try Shift, A-line and Wrap Dresses to create a more hourglass shape.

Catherine Schuller is one of the Plus Size Industry’s pioneers. She is a former Ford model, consumer advocate, promoter, marketer, editor, image consultant (Certified by AICI), author, andentrepreneur.

What To Eat When Dining Out Mexican

Traditional Mexican food is loaded with carbohydrates which cause blood sugars to rise. One solution is to order tacos! As long as you order corn tortillas instead of flour tortillas since they are much smaller in size, and therefore lowercarbohydrates. Additionally, Guacamole is made from avocadoes, which are loaded with healthy fats and very low in carbohydrates.

MaryAnn Nicolay is a Registered Dietetic Technician and has worked with the Diabetes Partnership of Cleveland for over 20 years. Her primary responsibility is to develop and implement diabetes education materials and activities in diverse and/or underserved communities.

Cost: Free.

REGISTER – FREE REGISTRATION

07/20/2020

31 Days Of Divabetic Podcasts, Day Twenty

Divabetic (Divabetic.org) presents a month-long showcase celebrating 10 years of diabetes podcasting. Each of the featured podcasts spotlights our favorite guests, topics, poems, games and/or musical inspiration. Enjoy!

On Day 20, we’re spotlighting Divabetic’s Diabetes Late Nite Inspired by Meghan Trainor from 2015.

Megan Trainor’s break-out hit, “All About That Bass” features lyrics about body acceptance. In this case, the bass is a metaphor for the booty. “Yeah it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two / But I can shake it, shake it like I’m supposed to do,” she sings.

How well are you at accepting the fact that you’re living with diabetes? Negative emotions such as anger, frustration, hopelessness, fear, guilt and shame is very common among people with diabetes. Navigating your way through a range of emotions as well as learning to accept your diagnosis can prove to be a major stumbling block for many people’s daily diabetes self-care management.

Guests include: Dr. Beverly S. Adler, PhD, CDE, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, Poet Lorraine Brooks and Mama Rose Marie.

Our monthly podcasts are dedicated to Music Lovers living with, at risk and/or affected by diabetes. We aim to be the epicenter of the circle of care, a link between patients and their health care providers, a translator of clinical speak and a bridge between denial and acceptance, fear and confidence

Divabetic was inspired by the late music legend, Luther Vandross and created in 2005 by Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, who, as Vandross’ assistant of 14 years, witnessed his boss, mentor, and friend struggle in silence and solitude with the diabetes and its related complications. Since its inception, Divabetic has presented outreach programs in 15 major U.S. cities, reaching hundreds of thousands of women, their families and health care professionals.

Experience more of our GLAM MORE, FEAR LESS philosophy at divabetic.org

07/11/2020

31 Days Of Divabetic Podcasts, Day Eleven

On Day 11, we’re spotlighting Diabetes Roundtable Inspired by Esther Williams from July 2013.

From “Bathing Beauty” in 1944 to “Jupiter’s Darling” in 1955, Esther Williams swam in Technicolor pools, lakes, lagoons and oceans, cresting onto the list of Top 10 box-office stars in 1949 and 1950.

In a bathing suit, she was a special kind of all-American girl: tall, lithe, breathtakingly attractive and unpretentious. From the beginning, Ms. Williams wrote in her autobiography, “I sensed the water was my natural element.” She estimated that she had swum over 1,250 miles for the cameras.

Esther Williams became one of the most famous swimmers in history without ever participating in an Olympic Games, because she found opportunities that were disguised in many obstacles that she confronted. She spoke of movie stardom as her “consolation prize,” won instead of the Olympic gold medal for which she had yearned.

Swimming is like life with opportunities frequently disguised. When you become disappointed with your present plight, consider how Esther Williams’ disappointment from not participating in the 1940 Olympics led her to opportunities she could have never imagined.

“This podcast was really a game changer for us because of Lorraine Brooks’s poem,” says Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. “Initially when I asked Lorraine to write a poem about ‘the beach’, she declined. She had an uneasy feeling that I might not like her poem because it wasn’t ‘upbeat’ or ‘happy’ enough to fit in with our typical podcast format. I assured her that I wanted her to write whatever she felt inside her heart. Her ‘Beauty & Beach’ poem is probably the most popular poem she has shared on our podcast. Her words not only captured listeners’ hearts but they also re-shaped our podcast’s format to reflect a more authentic view of diabetes; the good and the bad along with everything in between.

I hope you enjoy Poet Lorraine Brooks’s poem “Beauty & The Beach” from our Diabetes Roundtable podcast inspired by Esther Williams originally broadcast in July 2013.

Beauty and the Beach by Poet Lorraine Brooks

I’m not Esther Williams.

I’m not even close.

My body in bathing suits

Feels clumsy and gross.

I look at the swimmers

And look at the pool,

And suddenly feel

Like a a fat ugly fool.

READ FULL POEM

Esther Williams’ life, legacy and love of swimming inspires Divabetic’s Roundtable podcast from July 2013. The happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic talks about the ‘Best Of Summer’ featuring the best in summer reads, swimsuits and diabetes self-care advice. Special Guests include: Author Brenda Novak, Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Mama Rose Marie, Fitness Expert Tiffany Savion, Kathy Gold, RN, CDE, Neva White CRNP, CDE and Leslie living with type 1 diabetes.

Divabetic’s monthly podcasts are dedicated to Music Lovers living with, at risk and/or affected by diabetes. We aim to be the epicenter of the circle of care, a link between patients and their health care providers, a translator of clinical speak and a bridge between denial and acceptance, fear and confidence

Divabetic was inspired by the late music legend, Luther Vandross and created in 2005 by Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, who, as Vandross’ assistant of 14 years, witnessed his boss, mentor, and friend struggle in silence and solitude with the diabetes and its related complications. Since its inception, Divabetic has presented outreach programs in 15 major U.S. cities, reaching hundreds of thousands of women, their families and health care professionals.

Experience more of our GLAM MORE, FEAR LESS philosophy at divabetic.org

07/03/202007/07/2020

Divabetic Mystery Phrase #22

Can you complete our Divabetic Mystery Phrase below?

If you’re struggling to cope with the stress, and anxiety of daily diabetes self-care: try repeating positive affirmations to yourself each morning to steer your mood in the right direction. This way of thinking can be helpful when the mental and emotional burden of coping with daily diabetes self-care gets tough. We also encourage you to seek out a therapist to help you adjust to life with diabetes.

Stress hormones can raise your blood sugar. When you can take care of stress, you can lower your blood sugar.

Shallow, upper chest breathing is part of the typical stress response.

Taking a deep breath really does calm you down by triggering neurons in your brain which tell the body it is time to relax according to a new study. Abdominal breathing encourages the body to relax, bringing about a range of health benefits.

What is the 4 7 8 breathing technique?

Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound. Close your mouth and inhale quietly through your nose to a mental count of 4. Hold your breath for a count of 7. Exhale completely through your mouth, making a whoosh sound to a count of 8.

Do you expect too much from yourself? It’s OK to say “no” to things that you don’t really want or need to do.

There are health professionals who can listen and help you find solutions. Ask your doctor for recommendations if you’d like to see a psychologist or counselor.

Understanding the Mystery of Your A1C

When it comes to the numbers, there’s no one-size-fits-all target. A1C target levels can vary by each person’s age and other factors, and your target may be different from someone else’s. If you feel your hbA1C number is on a higher side, say over 7 or 8%, do not worry! Knowledge is power. You can lower your hbA1C by creating your own personal self-care plan with your healthcare professional.

Join us for Divabetic’s Free Virtual Outreach Event on July 16th

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Virtual Scavenger Hunt on Zoom with best-selling Intimacy & Diabetes co-author, Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND on Thursday, July 16, 2020, 7 – 7:35 PM, EST. REGISTER NOW

07/01/202007/02/2020

André Leon Tally: “I’ve always associated food with love.”

André Leon Talley admits his weight has long been a battle in his memoir, The Chiffon Trenches.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BsYiPwtAGYV/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

“Food was always a part of my life,” he told PEOPLE magazine, “and a source of comfort.” Beginning as a child secretly suffering from sexual abuse, he escaped into the pages of Vogue and his grandmother’s biscuits.

Talley never told anyone he was sexually abused as a child – not the therapists he has seen, not even his beloved pastor.

Because of the abuse, Talley says he has never really had an intimate relationship.

Although he was trim when he was first hired at Vogue in 1983, he began to gain weight when he entered his mid 40s. “I began to realize I had a problem.”

In 2004, there was an intervention. He was sent to Duke University Diet and Fitness Center for a several-week stint. “I lost 55 lbs. But I did not follow the rules.” He would return two more times — “It’s the same with alcohol, I’d often say ‘I’ve fallen off the wagon,’ when I’d go back to Duke — and have an unsuccessful Lap Band surgery.

“The experience for me is always very daunting in the beginning,” he told PEOPLE magazine in 2017. You certainly have to reboot your skills in weight-loss and I think it’s one of the best places to do that.”

His battle continues today. “I cannot control this addiction,” he says. “I am obese.”

In his book, André Leon Tally also writes about his friend, designer Karl Lagerfeld’s food issues. Apparently the designer liked to travel with a suitcase packed full of his favorite bread. Bread was Lagerfeld’s “one craving” while dieting, Talley writes. “He would chew the bread, savoring every bite, and then spit it out into a napkin,” Talley continues. “That seemed like a lot of trouble, but it worked for him, apparently, as he eventually lost one hundred pounds.”

André Leon Talley admits he still struggles every day.

06/29/202006/29/2020

Divabetic Mystery Phrase #21

Can you complete our Divabetic Mystery Phrase below?

As you age and experience certain life changes, it’s important to be proactive about making adjustments to your diabetes self-care and lifestyle. The progression of type 2 diabetes will likely require adjusting your management plan with help with your doctor. And being diagnosed with another health condition or experiencing new physical limitations can affect your diabetes. too. Positive affirmations can help you to approach these changes with a positive outlook rather than a negative one. We believe in you!

How do you keep on track with your diabetes wellness without losing a beat?

Experts agree that the best strategy is to focus on small, achievable changes to improve quality of your diabetes life. Talk to your doctor about setting achievable goals that both of you can get behind.

Understanding the Mystery of Your A1C

Many people wonder how their hba1c number relates to their blood sugar levels. After all, daily diabetes self-care management can be a jumble of numbers: weight, blood sugar levels, carbohydrate counts, fat grams, serving sizes, etc. Hopefully, this handy chart will provide some clarification.
When it comes to the numbers, there’s no one-size-fits-all target. A1C target levels can vary by each person’s age and other factors, and your target may be different from someone else’s. If you feel your hbA1C number is on a higher side, say over 7 or 8%, do not worry! Knowledge is power. You can lower your hbA1C by creating your own personal self-care plan with your healthcare professional.

06/22/202006/22/2020

Divabetic Mystery Phrase #18

Can you complete our Divabetic Mystery Phrase below?

Not only does it simply feel good to believe in yourself, it can help you deal with stress and difficult emotions better.

Constant worrying or self-doubt about what you are or are not doing to manage your diabetes isn’t empowering. That inner dialogue isn’t true, or even real.

If you’re struggling to cope with your diabetes diagnosis: try repeating positive affirmations to yourself each morning to steer your mood in the right direction. This way of thinking can be helpful when the mental burden of diabetes management gets tough.

We also encourage you to seek out a qualified therapist like our colleagues: Dr. Beverly S. Adler CDE, PhD, Janis Roszler or Dr. Wendy Satin Rapaport LCSW, PsyD.

“People without diabetes can feel loneliness, anger, guilt, and shame or use denial, rebellion or secrecy. The addition of diabetes to your daily life increases the likelihood of complex emotions,” says Dr. Wendy Satin Rapaport aka ‘The Diabetes Pysche’. She adds, “My goal is to help you recognize these normal and demanding feelings and then move past them to do better.“

“Wisdom is avoiding all thoughts which weaken you.” – anonymous

Making your diabetes wellness your top priority will help you find the life flow that you can manage and maintain.

Inner strength comes from knowing you have the tools you need to handle life’s challenges. If at first you don’t succeed then rely on your strength for progress. Optimism is a source of courage and confidence. It motivates us to set goals, to take risks. It encourages persistence in the face of obstacles.

Healthy Self-Belief is Not Bragging, or Boasting.

If you have lost your self-belief, remember that you can regain it with the right steps and actions. One way to jumpstart your self belief is to take inventory of what you’ve already achieved. If you’re struggling with your diabetes self-care, focus on the basics—don’t get bogged down in details or reaching for perfection. And don’t forget to celebrate your successes.