Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 7

With less than two hours before the official start of the competition, our amateur sleuths, attired in full pirate regalia, hurry to Britannia Coffin’s historic mansion on the cliff overlooking the ocean. They scramble over a wall of sandbags and enter through the unlocked back door.

Patricia: These gold framed portraits lining the hall must be the Hussey family ancestors.

Mama Rose Marie: And I’ll bet that room at the end of the hall is Britannia’s office.

Max: I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming here! If I get arrested, it’s all Renata Whisk’s fault!

Tonya: Renata Whisk didn’t buy the food processor – you did, Bartholomew!

Patricia: Well, Loretta is certain Britannia stole the whales’ teeth. If that’s true. They must be here somewhere.

MaryAnn: Let’s look around. Maybe they’re in one of these boxes?

Mama Rose Marie: This box is filled with insulin pens, vials and cartridges.

Max: Same with this one! Maybe she was planning to donate these supplies.

Patricia: New, unopened medical supplies can be donated to the regions impacted by natural disasters. But, you need to make sure they haven’t expired.

Tonya: Look, what’s in this box. It’s loaded with herbal medicines and supplements.

MaryAnn: It looks like she was searching for a quick fix to manage her neuropathy.

Max: She was probably hoping to use it during the competition to alleviate her foot pain.

MaryAnn: She wasted her money. There is no quick fix. The best way to help minimize pain is to stick to proper diabetes self-care management.

Mama Rose Marie: Well, we’ve searched all these boxes and there’s no sign of the whales’ teeth.

MaryAnn: Hold on, look what I found on her desk.  This stack of overdue bills explains why Britannia was so desperate for money. She must’ve spent close to a million dollars on sandbags, flood insurance and healthcare. It looks like Loretta was telling us the truth about Britannia’s money problems.

Mama Rose Marie: Hmmm, the high costs of healthcare seems unavoidable. What can you do?

Patricia: Make certain you understand all your healthcare benefits. Many people don’t know what their plans will and will not cover until it’s too late.

Max: Yeah, but check out this card I just found. It says, “This year you’ll be the one dying with envy!” And look,  it is signed by Loretta.

Patricia: That sounds like a death threat to me.

Max: Geez, some people will do just about anything to win a baking competition!

Tonya: Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!

SOUND EFFECT: Footsteps (shorter) needs a crash 

Mama Rose Marie: Shush! Everyone be quiet. I think I hear someone in the hall.

Loretta:  What’s going on?  How did you get in here?

Tonya: Loretta! We can ask you the same question. You scared us half to death.

Loretta: I’m looking for the stolen whales’ teeth. I’m certain Britannia stole them to collect on the insurance.

Tonya: Well, they’re not here.

Loretta: Why should I believe you? Look at you, you’re dressed as pirates. For all I know, you helped Britannia steal the whales’ teeth.

Max: No! I’m just a baking competitor.

Tonya: You see “Bartholomew” here has a bad habit of being in the right place at the wrong time when someone gets murdered. But he’s perfectly harmless. We’re trying to solve Britannia’s murder so the police don’t arrest him.

Loretta: Then the police need to interrogate Goldie Highcastle. Britannia couldn’t have robbed the museum by herself. There are too many stairs. She had to have an accomplice.

Tonya: You think Goldie helped Britannia rob the museum?

Loretta: Britannia asked Goldie if she knew of any tycoons interested in buying ivory when we were in her store this morning.

Max: Was she talking about the whales’ teeth?

Loretta: What else? Like I said earlier, those ivory teeth are worth $5 million dollars.

Tonya: That gives Goldie another motive for murder!

Loretta: I wouldn’t put it past her. Goldie makes a living profiting off other people’s misfortunes. She probably helped Britannia steal the whales’ teeth and then killed her so she could keep the money all to herself!

Max: So … You DIDN’T kill Britannia to win the baking competition?

Loretta: You must be joking! I had to withdraw from the competition this morning to search for the whales’ teeth. But if they’re not here, where else can they be?

SOUND EFFECT: Phone rings  

Max: Hello? This is Ma-x, I mean Max-well. Bartholomew Ma –. What’s up? (Pause) Oh no! That’s terrible.

Tonya: Another murder?

Max: Worse. The finals are about to start, and I still need to finish making my pie!

TO BE CONTINUED 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

 

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER – REGISTER NOW 

 

Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 6

Our team boards the Tall Ship Lynx for the Decadent Desserts on Deck Baking Competition. The Lynx was one of the first ships to defend America’s freedom by evading the British naval fleet.

After a moment of silence for Britannia Coffin the competition begins. 

Even in a fog of ginger, cinnamon, and chocolate, Max stands out from the rest of the competitors. He’s wearing a pirate disguise – in fact, he’s the only one in a costume. Max starts his preparations in hope of fulfilling his ultimate dream of becoming the next Food Network star.

Max: Tonya! Stop calling me Davy Jones.

Tonya: For Pete’s Sakes, Max. Your outfit is scaring all the children!

Mama Rose Marie: Now, now, dear. It’s time to focus on your pie recipe. I’m so glad that Millicent convinced them not to cancel the competition.

Tonya: People are lining up to take selfies with Britannia’s Nordic poles! This competition is great!

Max: For once I agree with you, Tonya – It is great. I’m sure to win with the velvet smoothness of the key lime cashew filling, and the crunchy pecan pie crust – YUM!

Tonya: I wasn’t talking about your pie, Max. I meant this competition is helping us solve the murder. I’ve overheard several people talking about how much they hated Britannia. Now where do you think Loretta is on this boat?

Max: Stop bothering me. I need to pay attention to chopping these nuts. This knife is sharp.

Tonya: Where’s your snazzy food processor?

Max: I stashed it below the deck. I don’t want anyone to see it. They might put two and two together and link me to the murder.

Tonya: Avoidance behavior is only going to make matters worse, Max. You should use it. With any luck, the killer will come forward once they see it!

Mama Rose Marie: She has a point, dear.

Max: Neither one of you really believes in me or in my baking ability. You just wanted me to be a decoy to catch the killer.

Mama Rose Marie Now, son, I think the hot sun’s getting to you.

Max: Prove it. Say something nice about my baking.

Tonya: Umm, You always get the oven temperature right.

Max: And . . .?

Tonya: Uh, Max. Rose Marie, help me out here? That knife he’s pointing at me is really sharp.

Mama Rose Marie: You’re good at measuring ingredients, son. Really wonderful!

Max: Well … I’ve got some news for you two.  My baking skills are ten times better than your detective skills. Otherwise, one of you would have realized by now that I wasn’t the last person to see Britannia Coffin alive.

Mama Rose Marie: What? How can you be sure?

Max: Britannia had her walking poles with her when she sold me the food processor. If I had been the last person to see her alive then why were they in Goldie’s umbrella stand? Obviously she met someone else. And whoever that person is, is the killer! Now, go bother someone else, let me focus on winning.

Patricia: (interrupting) Maa … I mean Bartholomew, one of the celebrity judges is Renata Whisk from last year’s Gingerbread Men competition. Doesn’t she hate you?

Max: How much more can I take?

MaryAnn: Right now, she is on the other side of the deck waving that police sketch of you around. She’s telling everyone about how your poisoned kale hot cocoa  killed everyone’s favorite TV chef, Sweet Sally Buttercup!

Patricia: Max, that silly pirate costume won’t stop Renata from recognizing you!

Max: What should I do?

Tonya: Did you bring any extra pirate costumes for us?

Max: They’re over there in a bag. Why?

Tonya: We’re going to put them on and get off this boat now. We’ll hightail it to Britannia’s mansion before Renata can blow your cover and you’re arrested. Let’s go Captain Bartholomew!

TO BE CONTINUED 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

 

Looking for a fun way to socialize without putting your diabetes wellness at risk? Do you need a little help staying on track with your diabetes self-care?

Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Tea Party with special guests, Divabetic Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Tessie’s Teas’ owner Rose Hall and Harlem Heaven’s Hats owner Evetta Petty on Tuesday, November 17, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER – REGISTER NOW