Divabetic Cozy Mystery: Kill Me Madam, Part 1

It’s a bright and sunny morning on the island of Nantucket, Massachusetts. Part of what makes Nantucket a unique historic gem is its place on the map; as Herman Melville wrote in Moby-Dick, it is “away offshore.” Max has just returned from running an errand to join his friends in a small prep kitchen overlooking the beach. He and our team are busy doing food prep for his new recipe for Nantucket’s Decadent Desserts on Deck Baking Competition. Everyone is hoping that Max will stay out of trouble long enough to win the cash prize with one of his healthy dessert recipes.  

Tonya: Hey Max, now that you’re back from your shopping errand, let’s take these aprons off and go sightseeing!

Max: There’s no time, I’ve got to prepare for the competition. Mom, can you turn on the oven?

Tonya: You mean we travelled all this way to Nantucket just to be stuck in a kitchen?

Patricia: He’s only here to escape the bad press surrounding Sweet Sally Buttercup’s murder.

MaryAnn: And to prove he’s a serious baker.

Mama Rose Marie: And not a deranged killer, isn’t that right, dear?

Max: Those wouldn’t be my exact words, Mom!

Tonya: Sweet Sally took one sip of your kale hot cocoa and dropped dead. Big deal!

Max: We’ve gone over this. It wasn’t me. A lunatic poisoned my kale hot cocoa. I didn’t kill her.

Tonya: Details, details. Why do you insist on splitting hairs? You’re notorious! There’s even a ‘Killer Cocoa’ Twitter account dedicated to your mishaps.

MaryAnn: Yeah, it has 5 million followers.

Max: That’s precisely why I registered under a different name: Bartholomew Maxwell. I’m keeping my true identity a secret so they’ll judge me on my recipe and not my ‘notorious’ reputation.

Patricia: Running away from your past is a big mistake. It always catches up with you.

MaryAnn: Besides, someone is bound to recognize you – your picture’s been all over the media.

Max: Not if I compete in this costume – dressed as a pirate.

Patricia: Wait a minute! You think changing your name and wearing that stuffed parrot on your shoulder along with that eye patch, wig and beard can keep you out of trouble?

Max: It couldn’t hurt. My Fruit Suit is like a magnet for murder! Besides this competition is on an old pirate ship. I’ll blend in.

Mama Rose Marie: Son, you have finally lost your marbles. What do you think, Tonya?

Tonya: I think if he’s going to walk around dressed like Blackbeard, we should all get to dress up and change our names. This recipe of yours better be dee-licious.

Max: I’m packing all the flavor of a classic key lime pie into my dairy and gluten free, vegan recipe with a pecan pie crust!

Patricia: Smart ingredients! Pecans are low in carbs and can also reduce the risk of heart disease.

MaryAnn: Plus, they’re high in fiber and contain lots of vitamins and minerals.

Tonya: First of all, Max, it’s “pecawns” not “peecans”. And, it sounds way too healthy to win a Decadent Dessert competition.

Patricia: Well, many desserts contain butter and dark chocolate which are low in carbohydrates.

MaryAnn: But they can also have loads of sugar and flour, which are high in carbohydrates. There are healthy carbs—ones that are high in fiber and low in sugar, like fruits and vegetables—and then, the not-so-healthy carbs.

Tonya: What about rice, potatoes and flour? My sister-in-law won’t go near any white foods.

MaryAnn: Rice, potatoes and flour can still be part of a healthy diet. The key is moderation. And potato skins are a great source of potassium and fiber.

Max: Who cares about potato skins?  My pie crust is made out of finely chopped pecans that are loaded with nutrients. That’s why I ran out to buy a food processor. It’s going to help cut down on my prep time.

Tonya: You didn’t wear this disguise out in public, did you?

Max: No, I stopped by a costume shop on my way back. Luckily no one recognized me at the local baking store. You wouldn’t believe the outrageous prices!  Good thing, I got a deal. Actually it’s a weird story. This eccentric lady with ski poles sold me this brand new food processor right out of her trunk.

Mama Rose Marie: What was she doing with ski poles in the middle of summer!?

Max: Beats me. But she was a real lifesaver! Since someone, dropped voice (Tonya!) forgot to pack mine!

Tonya: Eccentric sounds about right if she was selling food processors out of her trunk!

Max: She told me she wins a new one every year in the Decadents Dessert competition. Enough chit chat. I’ve got to soak these cashews for the pie filling before we leave.

Tonya: You mean we finally get to explore the island, Max?

Max:  No, we’re meeting up with all the other competitors at a Peggy the Perky Pie Princess’s baking seminar. She’s famous for preventing baking disasters.

Tonya: Can she prevent your type of disasters?

TO BE CONTINUED

How To Blind Bake Pie Crust

There’s a good indication that murder might be part of the recipe when Nantucket’s ten time reigning Baking Champion’s last name is ‘Coffin’ in Divabetic’s Mystery Podcast, ‘Kill Me Madam’. The secret to her success is blind baking.

What is blind baking?

Photo by Debby Hudson on Unsplash

Blind baking a pie crust is pre-baking the crust, without filling, then adding the filling once the crust is baked according to the King Arthur Baking Company. The pie can then be placed back in the oven for the filling to bake; or the baked crust can be filled with cooked filling, the whole left to cool and set.

Why is it necessary to blind bake pie crust?

READ MORE

 

Divabetic’s Mystery podcast cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.

Are you interested in learning how to bake with sugar substitutes? Join the happy healthcare host, Mr. Divabetic for this free, fun Virtual Baking Party with special guest, Stacey Harris aka The Diabetic Pastry Chef on Thursday, December 10, 2020, 7 – 8 PM, EST on Zoom.

FREE REGISTER 

 

 

Best Value Food Processor #2: The Cuisinart Elemental

When a trip to the local kitchen appliance store manages to spin Mr. Divabetic’s life out of control in this year’s Divabetic Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, he relies on a food processor for help.

This handy kitchen gadget is used to finely chop pecans needed for the pie crust in his new dairy and gluten free Key Lime Pie recipe but what can it do for you?

Why do you need a food processor?

Food processors are great for blending, but what many people with diabetes don’t realize is that they’re ideal for coarser jobs, too. You can certainly use your food processor to make smooth, well-mixed hummus or other bean dips, but you can also use them to for simple prep tasks. It’s an extremely powerful knife that quickly chops and grinds different ingredients, from onions to to nuts to hard cheeses, in a matter of seconds.

Here’s one of Divabetic’s favorite food processors:

 

The Cuisinart Elemental 11 Cup Food Processor lets you quickly and easily prepare large portions of ingredients for meals with minimum effort. The generous 11 cup work bowl, make this food processor the ultimate timesaver for your favorite dishes, making quick work of everything from chopping nuts and puréeing soup to slicing tomatoes and shredding cheese. Another time saver – the rubberized touchpad with Pulse control is wipe-clean and the removable parts are dishwasher safe!

The Cuisinart Elemental 11 cup food processor allows you to quickly and easily prep larger portions of ingredients for bigger meals with minimum effort. With an 11 cup work bowl, 1 stainless steel blade and 2 discs, it’s the ultimate timesaver, making quick work of everything from chopping nuts and pureeing soup to slicing tomatoes and shredding cheese. The rubberized touchpad with pulse control offers the ease of use and versatility that makes this classic the favorite of creative home cooks! The removable parts are dishwasher safe too. 

Amazon Price: $149.00

BUY NOW 

The power of pecans is true! When it comes to stabilizing blood sugar, polyunsaturated fats in tree nuts — such as pecans along with  almonds, cashews, hazelnuts, walnuts, and pistachios — are especially beneficial. They’re also loaded with fiber and protein to help with heart health. 

Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondes Mystery Podcast from 2019

Enjoy Divabetic’s 6th Annual Diabetes Mystery Podcast, Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondes. The mystery is set in the fictitiously decadent world-renowned Gingerbread Men Cookie Baking Competition in New York’s Central Park Zoo. Mr. Divabetic’s healthy culinary misadventures continue in this year’s escapade as he enters the competition with headless cookies and pureed kale hot cocoa for the judges to sample. As if this dreadful combination wasn’t bad enough to land him at the bottom of the throwdown, his mother, Mama Rose Marie, is accused of poisoning one of the celebrity judges! Things go from bad to worse when the snake phobic Mr. Divabetic hears about the giant python’s escape. Now, the happy healthcare host must decide to face his fear of snakes and recipe rejection or throw in his apron and risk getting caught up in another murder investigation.

Can Mr. Divabetic and his team of amateur sleuths hunt down the real killer and get Mama Rose Marie out of jail?

Will he be the next murder victim? Can he ever create an edible recipe?

The cast of Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondes features Mama Rose Marie, Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach (Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE and MaryAnn Nicolay BA, DTR), The Happy Diabetic Chef Robert Lewis, Seveda Williams, Coach The Cure’s Trisha Artman, Jillian Walsh, Wendy Radford, Dave Jones, Lorraine Brooks and Max Szadek. Throughout this podcast we will be featuring music from the original Broadway cast recording of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes courtesy of SONY MUSIC.

LISTEN NOW