Britannia Coffin’s death was NO accident. The police have determined that she was murdered! Britannia’s body was discovered near the dumpster in The Kitchen Island parking lot, and it was covered in cash! Apparently, the store was also robbed. The police found Millicent Merriweather, the Kitchen Island store shop owner, locked in the storeroom. The store’s cash register had also been emptied.
This is big news! The death of a member of one of Nantucket’s founding families coupled with this robbery has the whole town buzzing. And everyone, except Max, is glued to the TV and radio for the latest updates.
Max: Oh, well, I bet the competition is going to be canceled. We’d better pack up and head back to New York.
Tonya: Max, we can’t leave now. You might have been the last person to see Britannia Coffin alive.
MaryAnn: That’s true. An eyewitness reported seeing a suspicious man with Britannia in the parking lot right before she was killed. The police think he’s the murderer!
Patricia: That sounds like it could be you!
Max: But I’m innocent.
Mama Rose Marie: Son, if you are a suspect in one more murder, we’re going to have to buy a getaway car!
Patricia: Hey, Max, what are those receipts sticking out of your pocket?
MaryAnn: Let me see, this one’s an herbal pain reliever. They seem harmless on TV but they can interact with other medications and cause problems.
Patricia: I advise my patients to always consult with their doctors before buying them.
MaryAnn: And this receipt is for Botox injections.
Max: What? That’s not mine. I don’t know where that came from.
Patricia: Botox isn’t just for wrinkles, silly. It’s also used to ease hand and foot pain caused by nerve damage. Given her health issues, it must be Britannia’s!
MaryAnn: There’s a list of dates, times and numbers on the back of this receipt. It looks like Britannia must’ve been logging her blood sugars.
Patricia: Good for her! Diabetes and data go hand in hand. Without data it’s hard to know what to change and where to focus on in your self-care management.
MaryAnn: Keeping your blood sugars within a range can help alleviate pain related to neuropathy.
Tonya: Wait! Maybe Britannia stuffed these receipts in your pocket on purpose. They’re clues! In my book, Fixin’ to Die, my character, Kenni Lowry nabs the culprits and solves the murder using clues just like these.
Mama Rose Marie: We should turn them over to the police.
Max: No, if we go to the police they’ll find out who I really am and then it will be all over the papers just like it was in New York.
MaryAnn: It’s a good thing you put on that pirate costume before anyone recognized you.
Max: This can’t be happening again. My baking career won’t survive another scandal.
Tonya: Then, our only option is to stay and solve this murder.
Max: Tonya. (pause) I swear you left my food processor in New York just so something like this would happen.
Mama Rose Marie: Stop bickering you two and let’s put on our thinking caps. Max, who else was in the store when you were there?
Max: Just the owner and Britannia. Britannia was at the cash register when I walked in. Then, Britannia and I left together to go to her car.
Patricia: What about in the parking lot? Did you notice anything unusual?
Max: I got too distracted by all the shiny new food processors in her trunk. Oh, Wait! As I was leaving, Britannia took a box out of the back seat and headed across the parking lot to the antique shop.
Tonya: What was in the box?
Max: I didn’t notice. I was in a hurry to get back to the prep kitchen.
MaryAnn: Hold on a second, didn’t Peggy tell us Britannia rarely left her house because of her neuropathy?
Patricia: She sure did! Maybe Peggy lied to us to protect someone?
Tonya: You mean like her husband, Floyd? Peggy said his lobster business wasn’t doing well and the news reports said Britannia Coffin was rich. Money is always the top motive for murder in my novels!
MaryAnn: Well, if Peggy wasn’t lying to us, then Britannia must have had a pretty compelling reason to leave her house this morning if she was in pain.
Mama Rose Marie: Whatever’s in that box might tell us. We’d better head over to the antique shop and find out.
Max: No, no, no! This is exactly why I left New York. Please, I don’t want to get mixed up in any more murders.
Tanya: Too late. Let’s retrace your steps and get to the crime scene.
Narrator: Our team heads over to the Petticoat Row Shopping district where The Kitchen Island store is located.
The women-run retail district, Petticoat Row, on Centre Street was an entirely post–Civil War institution, which developed in the 1860s and lasted into the 1930s. It comprised between two and twelve businesses at a time and involved about thirty female proprietors in all. While whaling created conditions that led some island women to enter the commercial sphere, it was actually the economic and population disruptions that followed the collapse of whaling that brought Nantucket women into the paid workforce in significant numbers.
The Kitchen Island is a quaint baking store packed with tableware, cooking tools, appliances and recipe books as well as delicious pastries. The stylish owner, who just happens to be one of the Decadent Desserts on Deck sponsors, is Millicent Merriweather.
SOUND EFFECT: store bells
Narrator: After exchanging pleasantries, our team gets down to business with their investigation.
Tonya: Millicent, was Britannia in your store for any particular reason?
Millicent: She was bargain hunting for a new zester.
MaryAnn: If she loved a bargain, I’ll bet she also saved money by buying generic medications like Metformin for her diabetes. It’s just as safe and effective as the brand name but it costs a whole lot less.
Millicent: Oh who knows; all she wanted to talk about was entering her famous lemon meringue pie in today’s competition.
MaryAnn: Are you sure? The Perky Pie Princess told us Britannia had dropped out.
Millicent: And you believed Peggy? I wouldn’t trust anything she had to say about Britannia. Especially after what happened between them.
Max: I don’t trust her either after that crack she made calling me an amateur baker. But go on, tell us what happened?
Millicent: Peggy’s husband Floyd was involved in one of Britannia’s slip and fall scams. He lied on the stand. Britannia is the reason Floyd did jail time.
Mama Rose Marie: The big house really changes you; I should know.
Max: Mom, what are you talking about? You were behind bars less than an hour.
Mama Rose Marie: Well, an hour in the pen feels like a lifetime.
Tonya: Do you two mind? Can Millicent finish what she was saying?
Millicent: Paying off the fines almost made Floyd lose the family’s lobster business. To make it worse, Britannia walked away scot free thanks to her high-powered lawyers.
Max: She sounds pretty devious to be scamming people with phony slip and fall lawsuits given her condition.
MaryAnn: Her neuropathy would make her more prone to fall. So how did they prove it was a scam?
Millicent: It turned out Britannia wasn’t using her Nordic poles that day like Floyd testified. The judge threw out the suit because Britannia hadn’t taken the necessary safety precautions.
Mama Rose Marie: Mmmm. My Bridge partner also suffers from neuropathy. Her doctor wants her to check her feet daily but she has difficulty bending over.
Patricia: Her doctor is concerned she could develop a bad infection if she cut her foot. A hand mirror can remedy that. By placing a mirror on the floor you can easily see the bottom of your feet.
Tonya: Anywho. . .was anyone else in the store with Britannia?
Millicent: Loretta Hussey. I overheard Britannia tell her to make room on her mantle for another second-place ribbon!
Patricia: Oooo! That must’ve made Loretta mad.
Tonya: Yeah, but mad enough to commit murder?
Millicent: She was furious. Britannia never missed an opportunity to ruffle Loretta’s feathers. Just last week Britannia announced she was going to sell all the Hussey family treasures. There’s motive enough for murder right there!
Patricia: What would give Britannia Coffin the right to sell Loretta Hussey’s family possessions?
Millicent: Britannia used to be married to Loretta’s older brother. She got the house and everything in it in the divorce settlement. Britannia was heartless. I heard Loretta say, “You’ll get what you deserve!” as she stormed out of my store.
Tonya: But wait! Wasn’t Britannia‘s murderer the same person who robbed you?
Millicent: Maybe – I did tell the police I saw a strange man in the parking lot right before Britannia was killed! He should be at the top of the list of suspects, right next to Loretta!
Max: Oh, no. That strange man had to be- (Tonya cuts me off)
Tonya: -Just one more question.
Millicent: Anything. The sooner Britannia’s killer is caught, the happier I’ll be.
Tonya: Can you think of anyone who would rob you?
Millicent: No. Like I told the police, whoever it was grabbed me from behind and in these high heels, I lost my balance and fell over. Next thing I knew, I was blindfolded and shoved in the stockroom.
Patricia: You know, flats are better for your back and your feet. No one needs to wear 5-inch heels.
Max: But those shoes ARE fabulous!! Do they hurt?
Millicent: What can I say – “Pretty is Painful.” But wait, you look kind of familiar. I think I’ve seen you before. Take off that eye patch!
Mama Rose Marie: Oh, Bartholomew! Look at the time! You promised to take me to the antique shop across the parking lot. Let’s go!
TO BE CONTINUED
Divabetic’s Mystery podcast, Kill Me Madam, cast includes USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, Wendy Radford, Coach The Cure‘s Trisha Artman, Mama Rose Marie, Seveda Williams, and Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.
Throughout the podcast we will be featuring music from the Broadway Cast Album of ‘Call Me Madam’ courtesy of SONY Music.
HEALTH TOPICS
A new study suggests that Botox, or botulinum toxin, may offer successful relief for neuropathy, not just one form, but two.
