Good things happen when you push yourself out of your comfort zone. For the Luther Vandross: Never Too Much Celebration in April, I challenged myself to design two wedding dresses out of unconventional materials.
One dress featured a cardboard corset and a newspaper skirt, while the other was crafted from bubble wrap, discarded foam FedEx envelopes, and a Dollar Store silver shelf liner.
My friend Verna served as my dress form, and Pam Lewis, head of Luther’s Wardrobe department, provided guidance via FaceTime. Despite facing frustration and a lack of expertise, I persevered and was rewarded when two amazing models, Amy and Alicia, agreed to wear my dresses at the show.
After the event, Amy wore the bubble wrap skirt to the Mermaid Parade, which was incredibly rewarding for me.
Witnessing my designs alongside numerous other creative outfits at the parade was inspiring. The Mermaid Parade is filled with artistry, creativity, and wonder.
Last Thursday I attended a screening of the Luther: Never Too Much documentary at the TriBeca Film Festival. It’s taken me a few days to process the experience of not only seeing myself on a large screen (!) but also hearing myself discuss Luther’s stroke related to mismanaged type 2 diabetes.
Throughout the film you’re treated to a wonderful array of footage of Luther Vandross performing on stage from various tours. Plus, you hear Luther tell his story in his own words and voice.
Knowing and working for such an incredible artist and caring man was truly an honor. He changed my life. In 1995, he offered me a job in New York City as his full-time personal assistant. It’s a privilege to participate in the film and raise awareness of the tragic consequences of mismanaged type 2 diabetes.
Seeing the trauma I experienced on my face as I recalled the initial moments after Luther’s stroke made me realize how grateful I am to everyone who has supported, encouraged, and partnered with me on my various diabetes outreach efforts through my nonprofit organization, Divabetic.
I don’t feel I would have been as candid and vulnerable on screen in my interview had I not spent the last two decades helping others affected by, living with, and at risk of diabetes. “Keeping Your House A Home” by learning how to prevent diabetes health-related complications such as stroke, kidney failure, lower limb amputation, and blindness has been my mission for the past 20 years, and it will continue to be.
If you see this documentary or love Luther’s music, you owe it to his legacy to educate and empower yourself about your health.
Summer is the season of outdoor concerts. It’s a great way to enjoy music, but excessive exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation can cause skin damage. Protect yourself from the sun with style!
Our friend Evetta Petty, the owner of Harlem Heaven’s Hats, puts pizzazz into sun protection with a unique collection of spray-painted sun hats featuring brightly colored fruits are fun, fun, fun!
By the way, Evetta Petty is off to the races—the UK’s Royal Ascot, one of the most famous in the world. She is the only American milliner represented at Ascot this year, and she’s the first Black milliner ever to have a hat selected for the Royal Ascot Millinery Collective. Twelve milliners were chosen from all over the world. Her ‘Blue Note’ hat is simply FABULOUS!
Most skin cancers are preventable. Proactive approaches to sun protection are essential. Wearing protective clothing, seeking shade, and avoiding indoor tanning are great ways to have fun and protect yourself from the sun.
The American Academy of Dermatology suggests using at least an SPF 30, but higher is better. It is important to reapply every two hours, especially if out in the sun or in the water.
Many of our community members agree that thinking ahead and being prepared for unexpected issues related to your daily self-care is helpful. Before you leave your house, make sure you have the necessary supplies with you.
Talk to your healthcare collaborators about what fits your diabetes lifestyle. It could be a small snack, water bottle, glucose tablets, insulin, glucose monitor, or glucose gels.
Based on your lifestyle, your healthcare collaborators may recommend changes in your meal plan, activity level, or diabetes medicines to help you manage blood sugar swings.
Medical identification (cards, bracelets, or necklaces) can show others that you have diabetes and show whether you take diabetes medicine such as insulin. What’s in your bag?
At Luther Vandross’s passing, Frank E Campbell’s Funeral Home staff was wonderful. I will always be grateful for the kindness, respect, and professionalism shown during such a difficult time.
Frank E. Campbell’s at the corner of Madison Avenue and 81st Street is celebrating its 125th anniversary. They have arranged the funerals for New York’s bigges stars including John Lennon, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, former Gov. Mario Cuomo, former Mayor Ed Koch, Judy Garland, Aaliyah, Heath Ledger, Biggie Smalls, Joan Rivers, and Luther Vandross.
I remember picking out Luther’s coffin from a large selection. I chose the gold one.
I also remember providing photos and album covers as source material for their morticians. His family honored me by asking me to choose Luther’s outfit. I chose a beautiful black Versace tuxedo with splashes of crystals on the lapels.
Their talented team made Luther Vandross look like a superstar for his eternal rest, and this image still brings me comfort and joy.
Founded in 1898 by Frank E. Campbell, the funeral home’s star-studded history dates back to the frenzy surrounding actor Rudolph Valentino’s funeral in 1926.
More than 30,000 fans came to pay their respects after his sudden death from a ruptured ulcer at the age of 31.
Romantic relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even the most loving and open relationships.
Many people don’t know that diabetes can impact physical and emotional intimacy. And intimacy-related issues can be especially difficult to discuss with a partner or a health care provider.
But don’t let diabetes hinder the romance. Divabetic’s Sweet Romance series gives you practical information and expert advice to tackle this sensitive subject. These comprehensive, interactive guides cover everything you need to know to enjoy a fulfilling sexual and emotional life despite the challenges of diabetes.
The common physical and emotional sexual complications of diabetes and treatment options for men and women
An overview of diabetes nutrition, physical activity, weight loss, and diabetes medications
Information on how aging impacts diabetes management and intimacy
Guidance on how to talk to your health care provider about intimacy-related issues
Ideas and techniques for building sexual intimacy and communicating effectively with your partner
Tips to help you avoid dangerous or money-wasting fraudulent sexual treatments
Authors Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, RDN, LD/N, CDCES, FAND, and Donna Rice, MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES, use humor, helpful examples, and insightful questions to present key topics about sexual health in an engaging, approachable way. This series is perfect for anyone (regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, or health status) looking to rekindle intimacy with their partner or be proactive about their sexual and emotional well-being.
I’ve spent most of my life with the label of “plus”,
The truth is that labels aren’t good for any of us.
Let’s labels shelves, and file cabinet drawers,
And signs on the ladies and mens bathroom doors.
A label is good if I need to explore
Where your office is located on the 5th floor.
And I need a label when I’m shopping for food
To know if tomatoes are pureed or stewed.
But don’t label me and my body, I ask,
And don’t make me wear this invisible mask…
Put labels on envelopes with return address,
Or telling me which one is lettuce, and which watercress.
Because in the end, I’m the same as you are,
And labels work better on bottles and jars.
But even if I am not your cup of tea
Don’t put labels on people…and please, not on me
Max “Mr. Divabetic” Szadek and poet Lorraine Brooks revisit her groundbreaking poem “Beauty & The Beach,” which premiered over thirteen years ago on Divabetic’s Roundtable podcast. The poem was inspired by Esther Williams and resonated deeply with podcast listeners and Diabetic blog readers. Since then, there have been numerous requests to have Lorraine share the poem again on subsequent podcasts or repost her words on the blog.
During this Divabetic podcast short take, Lorraine shares how her opinions about her body and wearing a swimsuit have changed over the past decade, but her feelings about her diabetes diagnosis have not. She emphasizes the time, effort, and care she has put into her diabetes management, which has helped her remain free of diabetes-related complications. The discussion also touches on how negative self-talk can hinder us from living life to the fullest. Lorraine has agreed to revisit the theme of the beach and swimwear at our request and has written a new poem, “Summer Skin,” for an upcoming podcast about the 42nd Annual Mermaid Parade in Coney Island.
Although “Summer Skin” is not a cheerful poem about exposing more skin during the summer, we are still honored to share it with the audience. We hope you know our community welcomes you to share your thoughts, feelings, apprehensions, struggles, and successes regarding living with diabetes.
She inspired me to create the word “Divabetic” when I saw her performing at a Luther Vandross Tribute concert in 2003. The tribute concert took place after Luther suffered a stroke related to type 2 diabetes and chronic weight cycling.
During her performance, Patti LaBelle stopped singing and admitted she was living with diabetes. She said, “I have diabetes, but diabetes doesn’t have me!”
“YASS, QUEEN!” as the kids in the Bronx like to say.
Her upbeat attitude and openness about living with diabetes resonated with me. I vowed to help others at risk, affected by, and living with diabetes to prevent diabetes-related complications by presenting diabetes education in a fun way. Although I have met her several times, I have never truly found the words to express my gratitude to her for giving my life new meaning. Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this journey, and happy birthday to the woman and icon who started it all.
Living with diabetes can be a challenging experience, especially when it comes to your relationships. That’s why it’s important to talk to your loved ones about your diabetes diagnosis and how it affects your life. It can help you surround yourself with a more supportive and encouraging environment.
I often compare discussing your diabetes diagnosis to my experience of coming out as gay to friends, family, and potential partners. You can’t do either without accepting yourself and your diagnosis. But when and how you choose to tell friends, co-workers, or someone you are romantically involved with that you have diabetes depends on the person. There’s no golden rule.
I was never comfortable blurting it out at the beginning of a friendship or relationship, but I can understand why others choose to. Conversely, I understand that the longer you wait to tell someone, the harder it is to admit it. After walking the earth as a gay man for over three decades, I can tell you that keeping secrets is not an ideal way to create long-lasting, trusting relationships. At some point in your life, you realize it will never get easier, and it’s better to say it and let the chips fall however and wherever they will.
In our first-ever Diabetes & Relationships survey in partnership with Diabetes Sisters, 50% of the respondents said they tell their friends immediately about their diagnosis.
Co-authors of Divabetic’s ebook, “Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes,” Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, CDCES, LD/N, FAND, and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES offer advice on discussing your diabetes diagnosis as well as issues related to intimacy, fertility, and menopause with the people you care about the most.
Sadly, it seems that most women prefer telling their friends rather than their lovers about their diagnosis. I assume fear of rejection is the main cause of the hesitation to disclose a diagnosis to a romantic partner. But the embarrassment of living with sexual dysfunction issues related to diabetes for women, including low libido and personal dryness, could also make someone tight-lipped about disclosing a diagnosis.
Romantic relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even the most loving and open relationships. Many people don’t know that diabetes can impact physical and emotional intimacy. Intimacy-related issues can be especially difficult to discuss with a partner or a healthcare provider. But don’t let diabetes hinder the romance. The Sweet Romance series gives you practical information and expert advice to tackle this sensitive subject. These comprehensive, interactive guides cover everything you need to know to enjoy a fulfilling sexual and emotional life despite the challenges of diabetes.
The common physical and emotional sexual complications of diabetes and treatment options for men and women
An overview of diabetes nutrition, physical activity, weight loss, and diabetes medications
Information on how aging impacts diabetes management and intimacy
Guidance on how to talk to your healthcare collaborators about intimacy-related issues
Ideas and techniques for building sexual intimacy and communicating effectively with your partner
Tips to help you avoid dangerous or money-wasting fraudulent sexual treatments
Authors Janis Roszler and Donna Rice use humor, helpful examples, and insightful questions to present key topics about sexual health in an engaging, approachable way. This series is perfect for anyone (regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, or health status) looking to rekindle intimacy with their partner or be proactive about their sexual and emotional well-being.
Is the tide changing toward diet culture? Perhaps, when one of America’s most prominent icons admits to fanning the flames of body shaming and the lack of willpower in millions of Americans trying to lose weight. By ‘Diet Culture,’ we refer to a societal obsession with dieting and weight loss, often characterized by the promotion of restrictive eating habits, unrealistic body standards, and the stigmatization of those who do not conform.
Recently, Oprah Winfrey acknowledged her role in abetting America’s toxic ‘Diet Culture during a three-hour WW special. For decades, she promoted guilt and shame as well as the redemption of weight loss on her various media platforms, including a cable TV network, magazine, and talk show.
“I’ve been a major contributor to it. I cannot tell you how many weight-loss shows and makeovers I have done, and they have been a staple since I’ve been working in television,” she admitted.
Sadly, Oprah isn’t the only one. Famous women’s magazines, Morning and Daytime Talk Shows, cartoons, and stand-up routines are rife with weight loss stories, jokes, and new diet programs promising quick results.
How harmful is our obsession with losing weight by any means possible?
Numerous studies indicate that yo-yo dieting is bad for your heart. Yo-yo dieting, also known as weight cycling, can stress your heart and increase your risk of heart disease. In the short term, regaining weight can cause problems like angina, heart attack, and stroke. The more significant the swings in weight, the bigger the risk.
My boss, Luther Vandross, gained and lost over a hundred pounds at least eight times while working for him. His developing stroke and untimely death at age 54 are primarily associated with a result of weight cycling.
He, like Oprah, lost a hundred pounds on the infamous liquid diet. But millions of other Americans suffer from this vicious cycle of hating themselves and their bodies for their inability to maintain and sustain weight loss.
Oddly, Oprah’s confession was part of WW’s slick rebrand as a weight-health company that offers drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. I’m still trying to understand why she confessed in this forum. But I cannot deny she seems to have seen the light since Oprah Winfrey backpedaled from her statements about weight loss medications being an “easy way out” to admitting they’re redemption.
Oprah Winfrey backpedaled from her statements about weight loss medications being an “easy way out” to admitting they’re redemption.
She added, “I’m absolutely done with the shaming from other people, particularly myself.”
