Tag: Mr. Divabetic

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Frank E. Campbell’s Funeral Home Celebrates 125 Years

At Luther Vandross’s passing, Frank E Campbell’s Funeral Home staff was wonderful. I will always be grateful for the kindness, respect, and professionalism shown during such a difficult time.

Frank E. Campbell’s at the corner of Madison Avenue and 81st Street is celebrating its 125th anniversary. They have arranged the funerals for New York’s bigges stars including John Lennon, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, former Gov. Mario Cuomo, former Mayor Ed Koch, Judy Garland, Aaliyah, Heath Ledger, Biggie Smalls, Joan Rivers, and Luther Vandross.

I remember picking out Luther’s coffin from a large selection. I chose the gold one.

I also remember providing photos and album covers as source material for their morticians. His family honored me by asking me to choose Luther’s outfit. I chose a beautiful black Versace tuxedo with splashes of crystals on the lapels.

Their talented team made Luther Vandross look like a superstar for his eternal rest, and this image still brings me comfort and joy.

Founded in 1898 by Frank E. Campbell, the funeral home’s star-studded history dates back to the frenzy surrounding actor Rudolph Valentino’s funeral in 1926.

More than 30,000 fans came to pay their respects after his sudden death from a ruptured ulcer at the age of 31.

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Divabetic’s Sweet Romance E-Book Available Now

Romantic relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even the most loving and open relationships. 

Many people don’t know that diabetes can impact physical and emotional intimacy. And intimacy-related issues can be especially difficult to discuss with a partner or a health care provider.

But don’t let diabetes hinder the romance. Divabetic’s Sweet Romance series gives you practical information and expert advice to tackle this sensitive subject. These comprehensive, interactive guides cover everything you need to know to enjoy a fulfilling sexual and emotional life despite the challenges of diabetes.

GET YOUR COPY NOW

Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide to Love and Intimacy with Diabetes, book one in the series, is your key to a happy, healthy, intimate life with diabetes.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • The common physical and emotional sexual complications of diabetes and treatment options for men and women
  • An overview of diabetes nutrition, physical activity, weight loss, and diabetes medications
  • Information on how aging impacts diabetes management and intimacy
  • Guidance on how to talk to your health care provider about intimacy-related issues
  • Ideas and techniques for building sexual intimacy and communicating effectively with your partner
  • Tips to help you avoid dangerous or money-wasting fraudulent sexual treatments

Authors Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, RDN, LD/N, CDCES, FAND, and Donna Rice, MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES, use humor, helpful examples, and insightful questions to present key topics about sexual health in an engaging, approachable way. This series is perfect for anyone (regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, or health status) looking to rekindle intimacy with their partner or be proactive about their sexual and emotional well-being.

BUY NOW

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PLUS OR MINUS Poem by Lorraine Brooks

PLUS OR MINUS by Lorraine Brooks

Don’t call me plus size.

Why should I be?

I’m bigger than some,

some are bigger than me.

A number is given to keep track of our size,

And what is the difference which one I must buy?

I’m not plus or minus, don’t label me so,

And don’t tell me into which stores I can go.

If I need an 18, and you need a 3,

You shouldn’t be thinking you’re better than me.

If you need a 20 and I need a 2,

I shouldn’t be thinking

I’m better than you.

Why don’t we instead,

embrace everyone’s curves

With all the respect and support one deserves.

Don’t label me by the disease I possess

Or anything else that might cause me distress.

I’ve spent most of my life with the label of “plus”,

The truth is that labels aren’t good for any of us.

Let’s labels shelves, and file cabinet drawers,

And signs on the ladies and mens bathroom doors.

A label is good if I need to explore

Where your office is located on the 5th floor.

And I need a label when I’m shopping for food

To know if tomatoes are pureed or stewed.

But don’t label me and my body, I ask,

And don’t make me wear this invisible mask…

Put labels on envelopes with return address,

Or telling me which one is lettuce, and which watercress.

Because in the end, I’m the same as you are,

And labels work better on bottles and jars.

But even if I am not your cup of tea

Don’t put labels on people…and please, not on me

Max “Mr. Divabetic” Szadek and poet Lorraine Brooks revisit her groundbreaking poem “Beauty & The Beach,” which premiered over thirteen years ago on Divabetic’s Roundtable podcast. The poem was inspired by Esther Williams and resonated deeply with podcast listeners and Diabetic blog readers. Since then, there have been numerous requests to have Lorraine share the poem again on subsequent podcasts or repost her words on the blog.

During this Divabetic podcast short take, Lorraine shares how her opinions about her body and wearing a swimsuit have changed over the past decade, but her feelings about her diabetes diagnosis have not. She emphasizes the time, effort, and care she has put into her diabetes management, which has helped her remain free of diabetes-related complications. The discussion also touches on how negative self-talk can hinder us from living life to the fullest. Lorraine has agreed to revisit the theme of the beach and swimwear at our request and has written a new poem, “Summer Skin,” for an upcoming podcast about the 42nd Annual Mermaid Parade in Coney Island.

Although “Summer Skin” is not a cheerful poem about exposing more skin during the summer, we are still honored to share it with the audience. We hope you know our community welcomes you to share your thoughts, feelings, apprehensions, struggles, and successes regarding living with diabetes.
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Happy Birthday, Patti LaBelle

Happy 80th Birthday, Patti LaBelle!

She inspired me to create the word “Divabetic” when I saw her performing at a Luther Vandross Tribute concert in 2003. The tribute concert took place after Luther suffered a stroke related to type 2 diabetes and chronic weight cycling.

During her performance, Patti LaBelle stopped singing and admitted she was living with diabetes. She said, “I have diabetes, but diabetes doesn’t have me!”

“YASS, QUEEN!” as the kids in the Bronx like to say.

Her upbeat attitude and openness about living with diabetes resonated with me. I vowed to help others at risk, affected by, and living with diabetes to prevent diabetes-related complications by presenting diabetes education in a fun way. Although I have met her several times, I have never truly found the words to express my gratitude to her for giving my life new meaning. Thank you to everyone who has joined me on this journey, and happy birthday to the woman and icon who started it all.

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Dating With Diabetes

Living with diabetes can be a challenging experience, especially when it comes to your relationships. That’s why it’s important to talk to your loved ones about your diabetes diagnosis and how it affects your life. It can help you surround yourself with a more supportive and encouraging environment.

I often compare discussing your diabetes diagnosis to my experience of coming out as gay to friends, family, and potential partners. You can’t do either without accepting yourself and your diagnosis. But when and how you choose to tell friends, co-workers, or someone you are romantically involved with that you have diabetes depends on the person. There’s no golden rule.

I was never comfortable blurting it out at the beginning of a friendship or relationship, but I can understand why others choose to. Conversely, I understand that the longer you wait to tell someone, the harder it is to admit it. After walking the earth as a gay man for over three decades, I can tell you that keeping secrets is not an ideal way to create long-lasting, trusting relationships. At some point in your life, you realize it will never get easier, and it’s better to say it and let the chips fall however and wherever they will.

In our first-ever Diabetes & Relationships survey in partnership with Diabetes Sisters, 50% of the respondents said they tell their friends immediately about their diagnosis.

Co-authors of Divabetic’s ebook, “Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes,” Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, CDCES, LD/N, FAND, and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES offer advice on discussing your diabetes diagnosis as well as issues related to intimacy, fertility, and menopause with the people you care about the most. 

Sadly, it seems that most women prefer telling their friends rather than their lovers about their diagnosis. I assume fear of rejection is the main cause of the hesitation to disclose a diagnosis to a romantic partner. But the embarrassment of living with sexual dysfunction issues related to diabetes for women, including low libido and personal dryness, could also make someone tight-lipped about disclosing a diagnosis.

Romantic relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even the most loving and open relationships. Many people don’t know that diabetes can impact physical and emotional intimacy. Intimacy-related issues can be especially difficult to discuss with a partner or a healthcare provider. But don’t let diabetes hinder the romance. The Sweet Romance series gives you practical information and expert advice to tackle this sensitive subject. These comprehensive, interactive guides cover everything you need to know to enjoy a fulfilling sexual and emotional life despite the challenges of diabetes.

Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide to Love and Intimacy with Diabetes, book one in the series, is your key to a happy, healthy, intimate life with diabetes.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • The common physical and emotional sexual complications of diabetes and treatment options for men and women
  • An overview of diabetes nutrition, physical activity, weight loss, and diabetes medications
  • Information on how aging impacts diabetes management and intimacy
  • Guidance on how to talk to your healthcare collaborators about intimacy-related issues
  • Ideas and techniques for building sexual intimacy and communicating effectively with your partner
  • Tips to help you avoid dangerous or money-wasting fraudulent sexual treatments

Authors Janis Roszler and Donna Rice use humor, helpful examples, and insightful questions to present key topics about sexual health in an engaging, approachable way. This series is perfect for anyone (regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, or health status) looking to rekindle intimacy with their partner or be proactive about their sexual and emotional well-being.

BUY NOW

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Oprah Winfrey Admits To Perpetuating Toxic Diet Culture 

Is the tide changing toward diet culture? Perhaps, when one of America’s most prominent icons admits to fanning the flames of body shaming and the lack of willpower in millions of Americans trying to lose weight. By ‘Diet Culture,’ we refer to a societal obsession with dieting and weight loss, often characterized by the promotion of restrictive eating habits, unrealistic body standards, and the stigmatization of those who do not conform. 

Recently, Oprah Winfrey acknowledged her role in abetting America’s toxic ‘Diet Culture during a three-hour WW special. For decades, she promoted guilt and shame as well as the redemption of weight loss on her various media platforms, including a cable TV network, magazine, and talk show. 

“I’ve been a major contributor to it. I cannot tell you how many weight-loss shows and makeovers I have done, and they have been a staple since I’ve been working in television,” she admitted.

Sadly, Oprah isn’t the only one. Famous women’s magazines, Morning and Daytime Talk Shows, cartoons, and stand-up routines are rife with weight loss stories, jokes, and new diet programs promising quick results.  

How harmful is our obsession with losing weight by any means possible?

Numerous studies indicate that yo-yo dieting is bad for your heart. Yo-yo dieting, also known as weight cycling, can stress your heart and increase your risk of heart disease. In the short term, regaining weight can cause problems like angina, heart attack, and stroke. The more significant the swings in weight, the bigger the risk.

My boss, Luther Vandross, gained and lost over a hundred pounds at least eight times while working for him. His developing stroke and untimely death at age 54 are primarily associated with a result of weight cycling.  

He, like Oprah, lost a hundred pounds on the infamous liquid diet. But millions of other Americans suffer from this vicious cycle of hating themselves and their bodies for their inability to maintain and sustain weight loss. 

Oddly, Oprah’s confession was part of WW’s slick rebrand as a weight-health company that offers drugs like Ozempic and Wegovy. I’m still trying to understand why she confessed in this forum. But I cannot deny she seems to have seen the light since Oprah Winfrey backpedaled from her statements about weight loss medications being an “easy way out” to admitting they’re redemption.

Oprah Winfrey backpedaled from her statements about weight loss medications being an “easy way out” to admitting they’re redemption. 

She added, “I’m absolutely done with the shaming from other people, particularly myself.”

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Beauty & The Beach By Lorraine Brooks

My body in bathing suits

Feels clumsy and gross.

I look at the swimmers

And look at the pool,

And suddenly feel Like a fat ugly fool.

I try to ignore them,

These feelings I feel…

But the bottom line truth is,

The feelings are real.

Will I wear a bathing suit?

Probably not.

I’ll probably stay in my clothes,

And feel hot. 

 
I’ve tried, please believe me,
To listen to those
Who tell me
It’s OK To take off my clothes.
 
Then I look at others
And what comes to mind?
I sense they are judging me
And being unkind.
 
I wish I was comfortable,
I wish I fit in…
I wish I was normal.
I wish I was thin.
 
I wish people saw me
For more than my weight…
I wish that I had
 
A much different fate.
So, hats off to Esther
Who swam like a fish…
Who by all accounts
Was a beautiful “dish”.
 
But I am not Esther.
I’m all I can be…
And sometimes I struggle
Just being me.
 
One more small thing,
I must say it out loud –
If I had a body
Of which I was proud
 
If tank tops and 2-pieces
Were within my reach
I’d be more than happy
To join you at the beach.

Poet Lorraine Brooks will join us for Divabetic’s upcoming Mermaid Parade-themed podcast with Coney Island USA Artistic Director Adam Rinn. She’ll share her newest poem, “Summer Skin,” which tackles many of the same themes in her popular poem,  “Beauty & The Beach.” 

Lorraine admitted in our recent pre-interview that she initially hesitated to share’ Beauty & The Beach’ with our listeners because she felt it didn’t match Divabetic’s predominant upbeat ‘Glam More, Fear Less’ attitude. 

Ultimately, she read it on Divabetic’s Roundtable podcast, inspired by Esther Williams in 2013. We are so glad she did. The positive response from listeners and blog readers was overwhelming. Her words struck a chord with our Divabetic community in a powerful and meaningful way. Many commented on how much they identified with Lorraine’s feelings in her poem. 

With the Summer months approaching, we decided to share it once again. Whoever you are, wherever you are, however you feel about your body, know that you are not alone.    

Diabetes advocate turned reluctant amateur sleuth, Mr. Divabetic finally takes the plunge and ventures into a new career as a healthy caterer. With the help of his co-workers and nosy Italian mother, he heads for Coney Island to cater his first party aboard a yacht for his former swim coach, Ted Rockow. But his nautical soiree quickly capsizes when the guest of honor is found swimming with the fishes.
Was it an accident or foul play?

Now Mr. Divabetic’s grilling Burlesque dancers, a lifeguard lothario, a gypsy fortune teller, and some sequined mermaids, all intent on keeping their secrets buried deep within the sand. Can Mr. Divabetic overcome his green pea phobia in time to prove Coach’s death was a murder, not an accident? Or will he end up floating out to sea? Will he sink or swim? Tune in to find out if he can solve the murder of his former swim coach with the help of his nosey Italian mother and friends. Along the way to revealing the murderer’s identity, he uncovers expert tips for diabetes self-care during the Summer months.

FEATURING Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, USA Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, MaryAnn Horst-Nicolay MEd, NDRT, Lorraine Brooks, Catherine Schuller, We Are Diabetes Founder Asha Brown, Chef Robert Lewis aka ‘The Happy Diabetic’, Mama Rose Marie, and Seveda Williams. Produced by Leisa Chester-Weir.

Divabetic® (divabetic.org) is a national nonprofit diabetes outreach organization committed to changing attitudes in people at risk, affected by and living with diabetes. We strive to encourage prevention, early action, and above all, education. Check out our free monthly podcasts (available on i-Tunes and BlogTalkRadio) and our free Zoom outreach programs.
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Luther Vandross Listening Party & More

We presented two back-to-back Luther Vandross events, live and virtual, this past April.

On Wednesday, April 17, 2024, we presented the first-ever Luther Vandross: Never Too Much Music & Style Celebration at Thread Lounge in New York, NY.

Our goal was to spotlight the glamour and elegance of Luther Vandross’ performances, including every sparkling rhinestone, crystal bugle bead, luminous pearl, and shiny metallic thread on his breathtaking encrusted tuxedos. Designer Tony Chase’s wonderous mix of sweeping Art Noveau and geometric Art Deco designs helped Luther transport his audience to a magical place. 

Since every show had to look like the first show, these costumes were worn, and their upkeep was a nightmare for Luther’s experienced wardrobe department. Beads would break, threads would snag and pull, and collars would get stained. It was aggravating! 

But, looking back, we can appreciate Luther’s keen eye for detail and his unique way of putting on a spectacular show. Combine these costumes with graceful choreography, sophisticated orchestration, and glorious backing vocals, and you get every heart in the audience melt. 

It’s incredible to think about the level of detail that went into each show, from the costumes and lighting to the choreography and chrome sets, not to mention the phenomenal talents of his band members and backing vocalists. I’m sure Luther’s performances left a lasting impression on everyone in the audience.

This fabulous free event will feature a Panel Discussion with Luther’s backing vocalist, Cindy Mizelle, Luther’s choreographer, James Ervin, a live performance by Keith Anthony Fluitt and Christopher Faison, a Fashion Show curated by Catherine Schuller with Harlem’s Heaven Hats and Modafluer, DJ DAN.C.E, a vendor bazaar with True Serenity Teas, and an inspiring health and weight loss journey with Graffiti Glamour founder, Alicia Mitchell.

The FANDROSS Luther Vandross Listening Party on Saturday, April 20th, spotlighted songs from the recently re-released first album, LUTHER.

Hosted by Luther’s former personal assistant, Max Szadek, we were joined by family, friends, and colleagues: Seveda Williams, Fonzi Thornton, Nat Adderley, Jr., and Carlos Alomar, plus trivia with Robin Clark, Kevin Owens, Michelle Cobbs, Lisa Fischer, and commentary from Luther historian, Leon Petrossian. Additionally, we had rare interviews with Luther Vandross, discussing the early years of his musical legacy.

All photos by Carol Seitz Photography.

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Ledisi’s “I Blame You” Inspires Diabetes Discussion

Music can inspire conversations about different life topics, even ones that are different from the song lyrics. For example, Ledisi’s hit song, “I Blame You,” is an upbeat track about loving someone so good that you have no choice but to keep loving them. With song lyrics, “I blame you each and every day, It’s your fault that I’m completely blown away, You’ve been building castles in the sky, A place for only you and I, I, I, I”, who wouldn’t want to be told that you make someone you love to feel loved, and feel joy, how beautiful is that? 

Words have power, especially when put to music. You can find yourself singing along to a chorus without even knowing what you’re saying. Repeated listening to a song can trigger random associations that slip into your subconscious and support or hinder your actions. This is why self-reflection is crucial. It allows us to understand how our words and thoughts impact our actions and, ultimately, our diabetes management.

Imagine if we ‘reframed’ Ledisi’s song title, which means changing the perspective or context to refer to the words you might find yourself saying about your diabetes daily. For example, instead of ‘I Blame You ‘, we could think of it as ‘It’s All My Fault’ or ‘I Gave Myself Diabetes ‘. 

Blame and shame are the two biggest culprits that often sabotage your ability to manage your self-care. It’s not hard to imagine that these negative thoughts can slip into their minds without much effort. The light might be green, but we can still see red if we’re in the midst of despair. It’s a struggle to keep the negative self-talk at bay when you find yourself in the valley rather than at the peak of the mountain top.

How can you succeed at making lifestyle changes if your starting point begins with a negative mindset? 

Regret, despair, anger, and frustration are the common emotions people experience when they’re initially diagnosed with diabetes. But here’s the thing: some people can overcome these emotional obstacles and improve their quality of life, while others cannot. 

Many people who make and sustain changes to improve their care cite their children and grandchildren for giving them a reason. Others feel they have no choice but to change and return to the quality of life they once enjoyed. 

What is your experience? We encourage you to share your thoughts and feelings about the impact of negative self-talk on your diabetes management. Your insights could be valuable to others in our community. 

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New York Historical Society Lecture on John Adams

I attended this fantastic New York Historical Society lecture on America’s second President. Most people falsely assume the lecture focused on Thomas Jefferson, who was America’s third President. Our second President was John Adams. He was also our first Vice President, serving under George Washington. 

The lecture, titled ‘Making the Presidency: John Adams and the Precedents That Forged the Republic,’ was led by esteemed Author and Historian Lindsay M. Chervinsky in conversation with moderator David M. Rubenstein (who is very funny). They skillfully illuminated the unique challenges that John Adams faced during his presidency and how his actions laid the groundwork for his successors.

Lindsay made the point that John Adams left a significant mark on history by establishing a peaceful transition of power. In the midst of the current political climate, John Adams stands out as a beacon of decency. He lost re-election to his foe, Thomas Jefferson, in a campaign fraught with tension. However, John Adams never wavered in upholding the customs of the presidency. Despite being sandwiched between two of America’s biggest heroes and not having a monument erected in his honor, he still achieved greatness.  Imagine if he had refused to leave office after his adversary, Thomas Jefferson, won. Would we still have a democracy today?  He did not attend Jefferson’s inauguration, choosing instead to travel by public carriage back to his home in Massachusetts.  Lindsay noted that John Adams was not invited to attend Jefferson’s inauguration, and there is evidence to support that his presence could have created chaos. 

Among the intriguing facts I learned about John Adams: he was the first President to reside in the White House, having previously served in Philadelphia, PA. His son, John Quincy Adams, would later become President.

It was also fascinating to discover that the President and Vice President cannot be from the same state, a rule that still stands today. 

When you think you know everything about America’s history, you find out there’s so much more to learn. 

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