U. S. Open, Mental Health & Overcoming Setbacks

I attended the U.S. Open earlier this week and witnessed some incredible matches. While on the grounds, I heard Sloane Stephens playing in one of the stadiums. She was ahead 6-0, 4-1, but ultimately lost in three sets. I can only imagine how devastated she must have felt after the loss. How does one bounce back from such a disappointing defeat on one of the U.S. Open’s main courts, especially when commentators like Chris Evert are critical of your performance? Rennae Stubbs, whom I greatly admire as an announcer, mentioned that Sloane needs to learn how to win again after a tough summer season. Losing a tennis match can be frustrating and disappointing, especially if you have high expectations for your performance.

Similarly, managing unexpected blood sugar levels can be a setback that requires steadiness and resilience. Just as in tennis, where you need to stay focused and composed even when things don’t go as planned, managing blood sugar levels demands steadfastness and the ability to adapt to changing circumstances. Both situations require patience, determination, and the willingness to adjust your game plan when things don’t go your way.

Sometimes, you need a plan B. For someone living with diabetes, that may mean finding a new healthcare collaborator. If you feel your provider isn’t providing advice, encouragement, or resources to help you, which is expected, then it’s time for a change. Constant worrying, negative thinking, and always expecting the worst can take a toll on your emotional and physical health. It can sap your emotional strength, leave you feeling restless and jumpy, cause insomnia, headaches, stomach problems, and muscle tension, and make it difficult to concentrate at work or on court. Check out this HelpGuide.Org RESOURCE Guide. 

During the match I was watching, I saw LuLu Sun from New Zealand, the surprise Wimbledon quarterfinalist, playing in her first U.S. Open with high expectations. Unfortunately, her match coincided with the big-serving American Chris Eubanks‘s intense five-set battle, spilling large crowds of Eubanks fans into the stands at LuLu’s match. So, there she was, New Zealand’s tennis ace, playing her first match on an outside court with fans screaming nearby and planes flying overhead. On top of that, the lighting was rapidly changing from day to night, making things even more challenging. Watching LuLu, I realized that the U.S. Open isn’t as glitz and glamour as expected.

Having high expectations or setting high standards for ourselves may increase stress and pressure to meet those expectations. If we perceive ourselves as falling short of our dreams, this can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and feelings of inadequacy. The fear of failure and the constant drive for perfection can take a toll on our mental well-being, potentially leading to burnout and feelings of frustration. It’s essential to strike a balance and set realistic expectations to maintain a healthy mindset and prevent unnecessary strain on our mental health. If you’re plagued by exaggerated worry and tension, there are steps you can take to turn off anxious thoughts. Chronic worrying is a mental habit that can be broken. You can train your brain to stay calm and look at life from a more balanced, less fearful perspective. Check out this HelpGuide.Org RESOURCE Guide. 

Our friend, Dr. Beverly S. Adler, PhD, CD, shares “Fear of Diabetes Complications” with our Divabetic community in this blog post. READ MORE. In the blog post, “Dr. Bev” states the topic of diabetes complications stirs up a lot of emotional issues. Some well-meaning but uninformed people (they call themselves your family and friends) may tell you that if you eat that slice of cake, you will lose a toe or go blind. Trying to guilt you into eating healthy does not work. It makes many people with diabetes become oppositional and eat that slice – and more – just because they want to be assertive.


National Mindfulness Day is coming up on Thursday, September 12, 2024. One tip to help cope with worrying is to write down your worries. If an anxious thought or worry comes into your head during the day, briefly note it and then continue about your day. Remind yourself that you’ll have time to think about it later, so there’s no need to worry about it right now. Also, writing down your thoughts—on a pad or on your phone or computer—is much more complex than simply thinking about them, so your worries are more likely to lose their power.

‘Self-Acceptance & Diabetes’ by Beverly S. Adler, PhD, CDE Clinical Psychologist and Certified Diabetes Educator

“Figure out who you are and do it on purpose” – Dolly Parton            

This month’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast talks about self-acceptance and diabetes. Max “Mr. Divabetic” Szadek focuses attention on Julie Murphy’s book Dumplin’ and spotlighting the music of Dolly Parton who helped make the soundtrack for the Netflix movie. To summarize (and simplify) the story, it’s about a plus-size teenageddaughter of a former beauty queen, who learns how to accept her body and feel proud of who she is.

Dumplin’ by Julie Murphy

Self-acceptance can be an emotional struggle for many people, especially for women who judge their appearance critically. You fill in the blank: “I am too ______” short, tall, fat, skinny, young or old, etc. Let’s remember not to judge a book by its cover! Plus-size people can be superficially judged by their body type instead of what’s on the inside. It’s unfair, but you can’t change what others think. Try to remember to be yourself. People don’t have to like you, but you don’t have to care.

Some people are judged critically for having diabetes. It is assumed, and they are unfairly blamed and shamed, that they lead an unhealthy lifestyle (i.e. eating too many sweets, and being lazy). It’s hurtful to be so harshly judged, especially with no evidence to support those accusations. You know in your heart of hearts what is true and what is untrue. Remember that the most important relationship in your life is the one you have with yourself.


Benefits of Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is necessary for good mental health.  A person who scores high on self-acceptance has a positive, non-judging attitude.  A person treats themselves kindly, rather than harshly.  A person allows themselves to be human, to make mistakes and learn from them. Know that as humans we are not perfect, nor should we be expected to act flawlessly.

Psychological benefits of self-acceptance include a decrease in depressive symptoms and an increase in positive emotions. Positive benefits include an increase in feelings of self-worth and self-esteem, and more self-kindness when mistakes occur. Self-acceptance is associated with more optimism and better recovery from stress. Other psychological benefits are a decrease in fear of failure, less desire to win the approval of others, and less self-criticism.  Physical benefits include lower levels of glycosylated hemoglobin (a marker for glucose levels/insulin resistance).


Tips for Self-Acceptance

Use self-talk to encourage yourself. Tell yourself to keep trying and focus on positive aspects of what you did.

Forgive yourself. You have to accept your humanness and the fact that you are not perfect. If you hurt yourself through addictive behavior, avoidance, or otherwise behaving unwisely, make a coping plan for the next time you are in a similar situation so that you can begin to act differently. Remember, there are no failures, if you have learned and grown from your mistakes; there are only lessons learned.

Become mindful. Know what you think, feel and want. When you are mindful you can act on this knowledge rather than on what others want for you.

Practice good self-care. You can accept yourself more, when you take better care of your basic needs. Nourish yourself daily through healthy activities, like choosing healthful food choices, physical activity, sleep, intimacy, and healthy social interactions.

Final Thoughts

Challenge your negative thoughts about yourself. The underlying message of Dumplin is to figure out who you are and do it on purpose. Treat yourself with self-compassion. Tolerate yourself to be imperfect in some parts. We are deserving of love and respect just the way we are. Value yourself and all the things that make you unique. We are all works in progress.

Dr. Beverly S. Adler PhD, CDE

Dr. Beverly S. Adler, aka “Dr. Bev”, is a clinical psychologist and Certified Diabetes Educator with a private practice in Baldwin, NY. She was honored in 2016 with the “Certified Diabetes Educator Entrepreneur of the Year Award.”

She is the author/editor of two diabetes self-help books which include insightful lessons of empowerment written by successful men and women with diabetes.  She has published articles in print and online about diabetes management – always with the focus on emotional adjustment. Dr. Bev has been quoted in numerous magazines and contributed to a monthly diabetes advice column online. She is a frequent contributor to the Divabetic Diabetes Daily Wire, where she blogs about diabetes topics from the psychological perspective.

Dr. Bev has lived successfully with type 1 diabetes for 42 years. You can connect with her on her website www.AskDrBev.com and on Twitter @AskDrBev.

Don’t miss February’s Diabetes Late Nite podcast in support of the ‘Spare A Rose, Save A Child’campaign on Tuesday, February 12, 2019, 6 – 7:30 PM, EST.  We’re talking about ‘SELF ACCEPTANCE & DIABETES’ with musical inspiration from Country Superstar, Dolly Parton. Guests include Poet Lorraine Brooks, Dr.Beverly S. Adler PhD, CDE, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, Catherine Schuller AICI, CIP,  Lisa R Young, PhD, RDN and more. Enjoy selected songs from Dolly Parton’s new album Dumplin’ Original Motion Picture Soundtrack courtesy of SONY Music.  TUNE IN