The bedrock of my advocacy work for the diabetes nonprofit Divabetic has been helping women and their loved ones affected by, at risk, and living with type 1, type 2, and prediabetes overcomes shame.
As an openly gay man, I am acutely aware of how toxic shame can be in your life and the obstacles and barriers it can create to prohibit you from achieving your health and life goals.
In 2003, when I began my diabetes outreach efforts, I instantly recognized a similarity between my experience of accepting my sexuality and the experience of many people receiving their diagnosis. This connection pushed me to add layers of empowerment, self-love, and pride to traditional diabetes educational programming.
Accepting yourself (and your health) is a fluid, ongoing experience. After 30 years, I have good days and bad days. Being gay has been a superpower and a cross to bear. I can walk through life unnoticed or be the target of hate and blame for no apparent reason. At times, I still stumble with my confidence and resolve around my identity, so I can understand why, after two decades of dealing with the daily grind of diabetes, people throw up their hands rather than roll up their sleeves.
Recently, I was called out for being ‘obviously gay’ by two film reviewers who reviewed the Luther: Never Too Much documentary even though I made no mention of my sexuality. I was left scratching my head after hearing their comments about me. I can only hope that someone struggling with their sexuality sees me on screen and finds comfort and connection. I didn’t have many older role models to turn to when I was coming out during the AIDS crisis, so it would be a blessing to be one of the next generation.
Experts advise you to accept love and kindness from others, explore positive traits to help overcome feelings and thoughts related to shame, and share your experience living with diabetes to help conquer misinformation. This advice, taken as a whole, can be overwhelming. If you feel that way, you’re not alone. Hopefully, you will turn to Divabetic on the bad days for encouragement and be a source of encouragement for others by sharing your experience on the good days.
This week has been a source of celebration for some and distress for others in our community. I am laser-focused on continuing to build a bridge between all the different types of divas and their loved ones, creating strength through support and being a bright light in moments of despair for everyone. Shame has an insidious way of showing up at the absolutely wrong times in your life to knock you down and out.
Please continue to turn to us and allow us to turn to you to empower each other to dazzle in our diabetes lives.
