Dating With Diabetes

Living with diabetes can be a challenging experience, especially when it comes to your relationships. That’s why it’s important to talk to your loved ones about your diabetes diagnosis and how it affects your life. It can help you surround yourself with a more supportive and encouraging environment.

I often compare discussing your diabetes diagnosis to my experience of coming out as gay to friends, family, and potential partners. You can’t do either without accepting yourself and your diagnosis. But when and how you choose to tell friends, co-workers, or someone you are romantically involved with that you have diabetes depends on the person. There’s no golden rule.

I was never comfortable blurting it out at the beginning of a friendship or relationship, but I can understand why others choose to. Conversely, I understand that the longer you wait to tell someone, the harder it is to admit it. After walking the earth as a gay man for over three decades, I can tell you that keeping secrets is not an ideal way to create long-lasting, trusting relationships. At some point in your life, you realize it will never get easier, and it’s better to say it and let the chips fall however and wherever they will.

In our first-ever Diabetes & Relationships survey in partnership with Diabetes Sisters, 50% of the respondents said they tell their friends immediately about their diagnosis.

Co-authors of Divabetic’s ebook, “Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes,” Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, CDCES, LD/N, FAND, and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES offer advice on discussing your diabetes diagnosis as well as issues related to intimacy, fertility, and menopause with the people you care about the most. 

Sadly, it seems that most women prefer telling their friends rather than their lovers about their diagnosis. I assume fear of rejection is the main cause of the hesitation to disclose a diagnosis to a romantic partner. But the embarrassment of living with sexual dysfunction issues related to diabetes for women, including low libido and personal dryness, could also make someone tight-lipped about disclosing a diagnosis.

Romantic relationships play an important role in our everyday lives. But when diabetes enters the picture, it can complicate even the most loving and open relationships. Many people don’t know that diabetes can impact physical and emotional intimacy. Intimacy-related issues can be especially difficult to discuss with a partner or a healthcare provider. But don’t let diabetes hinder the romance. The Sweet Romance series gives you practical information and expert advice to tackle this sensitive subject. These comprehensive, interactive guides cover everything you need to know to enjoy a fulfilling sexual and emotional life despite the challenges of diabetes.

Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide to Love and Intimacy with Diabetes, book one in the series, is your key to a happy, healthy, intimate life with diabetes.

Inside, you’ll find:

  • The common physical and emotional sexual complications of diabetes and treatment options for men and women
  • An overview of diabetes nutrition, physical activity, weight loss, and diabetes medications
  • Information on how aging impacts diabetes management and intimacy
  • Guidance on how to talk to your healthcare collaborators about intimacy-related issues
  • Ideas and techniques for building sexual intimacy and communicating effectively with your partner
  • Tips to help you avoid dangerous or money-wasting fraudulent sexual treatments

Authors Janis Roszler and Donna Rice use humor, helpful examples, and insightful questions to present key topics about sexual health in an engaging, approachable way. This series is perfect for anyone (regardless of gender, sexual orientation, age, or health status) looking to rekindle intimacy with their partner or be proactive about their sexual and emotional well-being.

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31 Days of Divabetic Podcasts, Day Twenty Nine

Divabetic (Divabetic.org) presents a month-long showcase celebrating 10 years of diabetes podcasting. Each of the featured podcasts spotlights our favorite guests, topics, poems, games and/or musical inspiration. Enjoy!

On Day 29, we’re spotlighting Divabetic’s Diabetes Late Nite Inspired by Ricky Martin podcast from June 2019.

We’re talking about ‘Diabetes & Pride’ with musical inspiration from Ricky Martin.

Since Ricky Martin came out in 2010, he’s been a prominent voice for LGBT rights both in the U.S. and in his native Puerto Rico. Ricky Martin said, “I just wanna be free,” upon receiving GLAAD’s Vito Russo Award, which honors gay entertainers who promote equal rights. Martin opened up his life to Vanity Fair in its April 2012 issue and spoke candidly about his twins, Matteo and Valentino, and his longtime partner, Carlos Gonzalez.

This year marks the 50th anniversary of Stonewall Uprising (June 29, 1969). It is widely considered to be the single most important event leading to the gay liberation movement.

Diabetes can have a serious psychological and emotional impact, and can affect self-management as well as the individual’s quality of life.  It has been reported that low levels of self-esteem have been associated with diabetes and diabetes management. Evidence shows that self-esteem can be a key factor influencing health care behaviors.

Low self-esteem is the prime driver of self-harm among gay and lesbian students reports Psychology Today.

For the first time, a new study, “Psychological Correlates of Self-Harm within Gay, Lesbian and Bisexual UK University Students,” reports that low self-esteem may have a bigger influence on self-injury behaviors than depression or anxiety.

How does being gay or bisexual affect your diabetes self-care? And what’s it like to be gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender living with diabetes?

As an openly gay man, Mr. Divabetic is honored to shine the spotlight on members from the LGBTQ+ community living with diabetes. Guests include Stephen Bernstein, Greg Rubin, Maria Salazar, Maya James and the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach.

 

 

Our monthly podcasts are dedicated to Music Lovers living with, at risk and/or affected by diabetes. We aim to be the epicenter of the circle of care, a link between patients and their health care providers, a translator of clinical speak and a bridge between denial and acceptance, fear and confidence

Divabetic was inspired by the late music legend, Luther Vandross and created in 2005 by Max ‘Mr. Divabetic’ Szadek, who, as Vandross’ assistant of 14 years, witnessed his boss, mentor, and friend struggle in silence and solitude with the diabetes and its related complications. Since its inception, Divabetic has presented outreach programs in 15 major U.S. cities, reaching hundreds of thousands of women, their families and health care professionals.

Experience more of our GLAM MORE, FEAR LESS philosophy at divabetic.org