We’re excited to announce our special line-up for Divabetic’s World Diabetes Dayedition of Diabetes Late Nite. Coach The CureHealth Educator, Trisha Artman will stop by the studio to share her experience coaching families on how to live their best life with diabetes and the Queen of Soul, Aretha Franklin will provide musical inspiration. Join us here on Wednesday, November 14 from 6 – 7:30 PM.
Trisha is a Board Certified Educator, Health Coach and Writer. With personal diabetes experience, compassion, and professionalism, she nurtures trusting relationships—promoting healthy changes in an empowered environment.” Since the theme for World Diabetes Day 2018 ‘the Family and Diabetes’ we reached to Trisha for advice about dealing with emotions and diabetes prior to our podcast interview.
Q: Let’s talk about your family and diabetes. Can you share your own experience of how your family dealt with your initial diagnosis as well as how it might have changed over the years?
Trisha Artman: My diagnosis was a shock to my entire family. As my health quickly declined prior to diagnosis, I can remember my Mom rattling off a list of possible reasons for my dramatic weight loss, constant urination, unquenchable thirst, etc. None of which was Diabetes! It didn’t run in my family and was definitely not present in every day commercials as it is today.
My mom cried hysterically as the doctor told us my diagnosis, which for me at that time, meant that what I had wasn’t good. Overtime, I realized that my mom and I have very different approaches to life’s hurdles. Neither of which are wrong, just different. My mom’s first response is to express her emotions before moving into action, whereas I like to move right into action, get myself back into balance, and then release my emotions.
At first, I took on all of the responsibilities that come with Diabetes and did my best to make it seem like no big deal. I was seventeen and in a mad dash to get back to my “Normal” life as fast as possible. I learned what I needed to do and did my best to move on. My family let me lead the way, while they learned along and supported me.
As my relationship changed over the years with Diabetes, going from love hate, love hate, love…so did my relationship with my family. When I was following through with all of my health responsibilities, my family respected my privacy and independence. However, if I reached a burnout point and fell short on my health routine, my respected privacy and independence became a thing of the past.
Today my family and I are extremely close and Diabetes was a diagnosis for us all. We have been pushed beyond our comfort zone each and every day, both as individuals and also as a family, but we choose to keep going. We had to learn a new rhythm, build a trusted support system to deal with ALL of our emotions, and learn to clearly communicate our wants and needs.
Honestly, we have come a long way!
Q: How do you feel a diabetes diagnosis can change the family dynamic?
Trisha Artman: Specifically, if the parent is living with diabetes? And if the child is living with diabetes?
Whether a parent or a child is diagnosed with any type of chronic illness (diabetes or different), there is a sense of responsibility that the child/family may take on. The feelings of stability and safety may become disrupted and unclear, for both the individual diagnosed and the family and can lead to feelings of fear, anger, resentment, and more. The parent or child may have to rely on their family in different ways then pre-diagnosis, both physically and emotionally. Everyone in the family plays a different role to maintain the family’s rhythm, healthy or not.
Communication! Communication! Wait, did I say communication? Yes, you want more conversation now, not less! When someone you love is diagnosed with an illness, its important that everyone in the family has an opportunity to express what the diagnosis means to them. There is a grieving process that needs to happen for both the individual and the family. Life as the family knew it has changed and deserves the opportunity to be mourned before moving forward.
Kids especially, are so observant of what’s going on at home and know when something has changed in their environment. If left unaddressed, kids may internalize the illness of their parent as being their fault or their responsibility to fix or change. Siblings may experience rivalry over parent attention and/or the guilt of “Why not me?”
Parents of a child that is diagnosed may have conflict over methods of care and responsibility. They begin to place the blame on themselves for the cause of their child’s illness or on others out of frustration. Other parents may become consumed with guilt and try to take over the daily tasks of Diabetes (chronic illness), in an attempt to ease the burden or in some cases make it invisible.
Integrating a Healthcare professional or Coach as part of your team, right from the start, can help you avoid the unhealthy behaviors and instead, open up the lines of communication and get clear. These are skills that can be taught, learned, and practiced right at the beginning of your diagnosis. You and your family deserve to feel safe to explore and understand the impact of what has changed, and how daily life will now be moving forward.
Q: What are the pro’s and con’s for being a ‘hands off’ parent when dealing with their children’s type 1 diabetes?
Trisha Artman: The benefit of being a “hands off” parent has the potential to encourage responsibility and independence within your child. Parents may also feel that they have more freedom in their own daily routine. However, “Hands off” can’t be so black and white. To become successful at the “hands off“ approach, we need to introduce some highlights of grey in there.
Clear communication and expectations must be established between all relationships in your child’s life. This includes with you and your child, family, medical team, school, psychologist and/or coach, etc.
Your main job as a parent is to keep your child alive and thriving. Helping them to establish healthy relationships and expectations will encourage them to become their own self-advocate and gain the independence they want and deserve.
The cons of the “hands off” parenting approach are that you have no idea what’s going on with your child! Your child could be struggling in many more ways than just their blood sugar. Remember, communication doesn’t have to be overbearing, it just needs to be effective.
Q: What are the pro’s and con;s for being a ‘hands on’ parent when dealing with your children’s type 1 diabetes?
Trisha Artman: The benefit of being a “hands on” parent is that you are involved in the emotional and physical well being of your child. You are present to support and guide your child if needed or wanted. You may be able to prevent a problem from occurring before it happens, if the opportunity presents itself.
The con of being a “hands on” parent is that you have to make it a priority to carve out self care for yourself. Parents can lose sight of their own needs (to an extreme), in order to keep up with every detail of their child’s care. This behavior may discourage independence and self-advocacy within the child and leave the child unprepared to manage their health without the aid of the parent present. Too “hands on” can also create resentment within the child towards the parent, diminishing communication and encouraging the child to act out as a form of control.
Q: Best-Selling Author Brenda Novak expressed her concerns over sending her son living with type 1 diabetes to school when he was younger on a recent Diabetes Late Nite podcast because of the lack of knowledge about type 1 diabetes among the school administration and staff. What advice can you offer to other parents concerned about this issue?
Trisha Artman: Parents, I’m sure you have many feelings about sending your child off to college, especially when they are living with a chronic illness. I think this means that you’re a very good parent! I say, have your feelings and really allow yourself to feel them…its what you do next that matters most! Transition yourself from a helpless position, in this situation into a place of empowerment. Set up a meeting with your child’s school nurse and administration and start building relationships. This is another partnership and one that must be successful.
Bring your recent medical plan from your child’s doctor with you and start the process of a 504 plan with your school. By law this requires your child’s school to have trained professionals to meet the health and educational needs of your child (don’t let them discourage you, Diabetes is included in 504 plans).
Bring your child to school so they can meet each teacher and professional that they will encounter throughout the school day, so you, your child, and the professional can feel comfortable to ask and answer questions. Leave feeling prepared and confident.
Communication is the name of the game!
Q: You were diagnosed with type 1 diabetes at 17, what advice can you offer to others who will be heading off to college soon and maybe managing their diabetes alone for the first time?
I suggest that they first take the time to imagine everything they want from their college experience. Really sit and enjoy the feelings that come along with this new experience. Then bring their diabetes into their visualization…what do they need in place right now with their health to make their college experience, health wise, seamless?
Do they need a diabetes refresher course on how to count carbs, treat low/high sugars, emotional wellness, identify burnout, nutrition, pump management, alcohol and diabetes, sex education, etc?
These are all real life questions and concerns and need to be addressed BEFORE vs. after they find themselves in the situation.
College is another time for major growth and independence. Create new relationships that keep you healthy and happy, and living the life that you choose to live.
Establish a relationship with your school medical team and introduce yourself. Find out if you can schedule your medicine and supplies to be picked up or delivered before you run out, etc. Take down names and numbers and make yourself feel comfortable. Set yourself up for success in every way possible!
*During this time especially, talk more not less!
Coach The Cure Trisha Artman is offering a Complimentary Breakthrough session to discuss your top health goals, and what you would like to accomplish. Additionally, you’ll have a chance to get clear on what is in your way, and how to quickly take action and experience healthy change NOW. CLICK HERE
There are many reasons that Aretha Franklin is the legend of legends, a groundbreaking singer with the fortitude to transcend race and genre, using that tremulous voice as the bulldozer to break down every barrier set up in her way.
Aretha’s own health journey is sparking a discussion about the uncertain connection between pancreatic cancer and diabetes. Long-standing diabetes can be considered a risk factor for pancreatic cancer. It causes a modest increase in risk of 1.5- to two-fold. Some of the other risk factors for pancreatic cancer include smoking, chronic pancreatitis (inflammation of the pancreas), family history of pancreatic cancer, obesity and certain genetic syndromes.
Guests include Poet Lorraine Brooks, Dr. Wendy Satin Rapaport, Diabetes Strong’s owner Christel Oerum, Beautyphonics CEO and “Beneath The Makeup”Author Suzanne Perez, Jessica Clark, Coach the Cure Trisha Artman, and the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach. Throughout the podcast we will be playing music from Aretha Franklin’s ‘Aretha Franklin Sings the Great Diva Classics’ courtesy of SONY Music.
Diabetes Late Nite is a fast-paced, full-filled hour of diabetes education and wellness advice that encourages listeners to “laugh a little, learn a lot.”
The mystery is set in the fictitiously decadent world-renowned Gingerbread Men Cookie Baking Competition in New York’s Central Park Zoo. Mr. Divabetic’s healthy culinary misadventures continue in this year’s escapade as he enters the competition with headless cookies and pureed kale hot cocoa for the judges to sample. As if this dreadful combination wasn’t bad enough to land him at the bottom of the throwdown, his mother, Mama Rose Marie, is accused of poisoning one of the celebrity judges! Things go from bad to worse when the snake phobic Mr. Divabetic hears about the giant python’s escape.
Now, the happy healthcare host must decide to face his fear of snakes and recipe rejection or throw in his apron and risk getting caught up in another murder investigation. Can Mr. Divabetic and his team of amateur sleuths hunt down the real killer and get Mama Rose Marie out of jail? Will he be the next murder victim? Can he ever create an edible recipe?
The cast of Gingerbread Men Prefer Blondesfeatures Mama Rose Marie, Best-Selling Author Tonya Kappes, the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach (Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE and MaryAnn Nicolay BA, DTR), The Happy Diabetic Chef Robert Lewis, Seveda Williams, Coach The Cure’s Trisha Artman, Jillian Walsh, Wendy Radford, Dave Jones, Lorraine Brooks and Max Szadek.
Throughout this podcast we will be featuring music from the original Broadway cast recording of Gentlemen Prefer Blondes courtesy of SONY MUSIC.
We’re talking about ‘COUPLES& DIABETES’ on February’s Diabetes Late Nitepodcast on Tuesday, February, 13, 2018. 6 – 7:30 PM, EST.
How we deal with the pressures of diabetes can make a real difference to the relationships we have with others including friends, family, work colleagues or one off acquaintances.
I reached out to my friend, and colleague, Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND, who isa Certified Diabetes Educator and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist for her advice on the subject in an exclusive interview for the Divabetic community.
Q: What are the common do’s and don’ts for engaging your spouse in your diabetes care?
Janis Roszler (JR): Ask, don’t assume.Ask your partner if they would like your help.If they say yes, ask what they would like you to do.
(JR): Learn about diabetes.The more you know, the more comfortable you are likely to feel.For example, your partner’s occasional high blood sugar level is not a problem. Complications develop when blood sugar levels remains high for an extended period of time.
(JR): Don’t be offended if your partner turns down your offer to help.Many people prefer to do certain tasks themselves.
(JR): Don’t enter the “parent trap.”You don’t want to turn into your partner’s nagging mother or father! Calmly share your concerns then ask how you can help.
Q: What is helpful and not helpful in their interactions with each other?
(JR): Watch your non-verbal communication.Rolling your eyes or turning away communicates a negative message as clearly as yelling.When you speak to your partner, turn your body towards them, employ good eye contact and listen to what they say.Don’t think about your response while they are speaking.Good listening communicates heartfelt concern.
Q: What advice can you give spouses/partners who argue about diabetes?
(JR): Most couples fight.The trick is to fight fair and repair hurt feelings at the end of the argument.Here are some rules for fighting fair:
Make an appointment to discuss the issue.Find a time when you both aren’t distracted.
Stay on topic.If you are upset about a certain problem, don’t bring up other issues that also bother you.
Don’t bring up the past.Avoid phrases like “you always…” or “you never…”They make people feel attacked.
Focus on the problem, not the person.Don’t call your partner stupid, forgetful or any other negative term.That can cause hurt feelings and prompt your partner to attack you back. The problem is the issue, not your partner.
If things get heated, take a break. When people feel angry or attacked, they stop listening. They also have a harder time feeling compassion. If things get out of hand, take a break. Set a time to resume the discussion.
End in a supportive way. After the fight, try to connect in a loving way.Hug, laugh, go for a walk, etc.Invest in your relationship.
Q: What advice can you give to spouses/partners of people with diabetes who don’t want to manage their diabetes?
(JR): You can’t control another person’s behavior.Let your partner know that you are there for them, but try not to nag or guilt them into changing their behavior.It will only stress your relationship. It is hard to watch someone ignore or mismanage their health.If watching them becomes too overwhelming, meet with a therapist who can help you deal with the situation.
Q: What advice can you give to spouses who may be afraid that their partners will develop diabetes health-related complications?
(JR): The good news is that people who manage their diabetes well dramatically reduce their risk of complications.Discuss how you can support their efforts to stay healthy.If they are open to it, join them at a diabetes class or appointment with their health provider, so you can learn what they need and how you may be able to help.
Q: Hypoglycemia is upsetting, both for people with diabetes and their partners. Both get scared, both get frustrated, and both can get angry, at each other and at the diabetes. What advice can you offer on this subject?
(JR): Create a diabetes emergency plan before a problem develops.Which snacks should be in the house?What should you say if you think your partner’s blood sugar is dropping? If your partner wears a pump and has an unexpected blood sugar swing, what should you do?Etc. If you have unanswered questions, join your loved one at an upcoming appointment with their healthcare provider and ask what they suggest.
Q:Many people use glucose monitoring devices that can share data. Are there any guidelines for partners who monitor their spouse’s blood sugar data on their iPhones, etc.?
(JR): Some people feel great comfort knowing that their partner is watching their blood sugar level.Others prefer to keep these results private.Ask how your partner feels about sharing this information.If you see that their blood sugar level is going out of range, how would they like you to communicate this information?When should you tell them?This is all very personal and should be discussed before the situation arises.
Q:Divabetic is honored to participate in Diabetes Podcast Weekto raise awareness for the ‘Spare a Rose, Save A Child’ campaign. This a wonderful cause encourages people to take the typical “dozen roses,” so popular on Valentine’s Day, and donate the value of one rose to help save the life of a child living with diabetes in developing countries. (The International Diabetes Foundation estimates that there almost 500,000 children under 15 years with type 1 diabetes. Lack of access to insulin remains a common cause of death in a child with diabetes.) Make your donation tonight by visiting the International Diabetes Federation (idf.org).
In the spirit of Diabetes Podcast Week, I’d like to ask you what some guidelines are for creating boundaries between parents and children with diabetes?
(JR): Visit the Children with Diabetes organization (childrenwithdiabetes.com).They run wonderful programs and offer online support for parents of children who have diabetes. Learn how other parents handle boundary issues.If your child is ready, encourage them to gradually start to do age appropriate self-care tasks, so they can become more independent.Let them know that they can come to you if any task doesn’t go as planned.
Janis Roszler, LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND is a registered dietitian, certified diabetes educator, and insulin pump trainer. She is the author of several books as well as the popular Dear Janis column in Diabetes Positive! Magazine and contributes to Diabetes Health, Diabetes Forecast, Diabetes Interview, and Diabetes Self-Management . She is also a speaker on diabetes-related topics and has appeared on numerous radio programs and Internet webcasts.
In this book, three experts deliver advice on issues such as handling nagging friends and relatives, injecting insulin discreetly while dining out, bringing up the subject of blood sugar highs and lows before turning out the bedroom lights, and avoiding diabetes urgencies becoming emergencies. Also included are practical tools like exercises, quizzes, questions, checklists, and coping strategies.
One of Janis Roszler’s other books, Sex & Diabetesis the first book ever to deal exclusively with sexual problems as they relate to diabetes— and the only book to discuss issues that relate to both men and women.
It also shows you how sexual problems can be prevented or delayed and discusses treatments options that currently exist. Sex & Diabetes highlights the value of communication between sexual partners and the importance of having an open relationship with healthcare professionals.
TUNE IN: Diabetes Late Nite inspired by Faith Hill & Tim McGraw on Tuesday, February 13, 2018, 6 PM, EST. Throughout this podcast we will be playing selected songs from Tim McGraw & Faith Hill’s ‘Rest Of Our Lives’ album courtesy of SONY Music. Guests include Poet Lorraine Brooks, Jaye O’Grey, Janis Roszler LMFT, RD, LD/N, CDE, FAND, and the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach featuring Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE.
