Remembering Luther Vandross

Today I’m thinking of my boss, Luther Vandross, on the anniversary of his passing.  Luther changed my life twice. First, he hired me to be his assistant, and then his stroke, related to mismanaged type 2 diabetes, made me a diabetes advocate.

In 1995, he moved me from San Francisco (where I worked in Regional Theater) to New York City to become his full-time assistant.  It was two years after I worked on my first Luther tour, Never Let Me Go, in 1993.

It was a dream come true for a kid who loves soul music from Rochester, NY (I was a diehard WDKX listener) without professional connections. In 2003, I became his caregiver after he suffered a stroke due to mismanaged type 2 diabetes which led me on a path as a diabetes advocate.

My lack of knowledge regarding my grandmother’s diabetes and self-care dismissed concerns I might have had that mismanaged diabetes could destroy someone’s quality of life and health until it was too late. Calling diabetes ‘a touch of sugar’ is like saying a Great White shark is a Goldfish.

Luther was a generous, kind, funny, and hugely talented man. But sadly, I witnessed him struggle with food addiction. In reflection, I feel Luther’s behavior was similar to other addicts. He was either sober, abstaining from carbohydrates, or using, binge eating. No one talks about food addiction as they discuss or glorify drug use. But in my opinion, Luther was wrestling with a monster just as powerful and seductive as cocaine. Unfortunately, he lost the battle. He felt trapped in his body, and it caused him physical, mental, and emotional heartache.

But that’s not the whole story. Luther was a complex, multi-dimensional man, just like a multi-dimensional artist who was a successful songwriter, producer, vocal arranger, and vocalist. On many of his biggest hits, he showcases all of these skills.

The first time I met him, the sheer magnitude of his talent blew me away. He embodied the American Dream to me. He never had a Plan B because he felt if he did, then he wouldn’t pursue his dream. His bravery has influenced my life decisions and given me the strength to pursue my dreams.

Every July 1st, I renew my desire to help those at risk, affected by, and living with diabetes to ‘keep their house a home’ by learning to delay or prevent a mismanaged diabetes complication such as stroke.

Enjoy Divabetic’s Annual Luther Vandross Tribute podcast guests, including Lisa Fischer, Jason Miles, Jeff James, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDCES, and Chuck Flowers.

By the time Luther Vandross headed to the studio to record his fifth album, Give Me the Reason, in 1986; he’d become one of the most successful soul singers of the first half of the eighties. His four previous albums have been either certified platinum or double-platinum in America.

Luther Vandross’s fifth album, Give Me the Reason, comprised nine tracks, including the hits: So Amazing, There’s Nothing Better Than Love, Stop To Love and Give Me The Reason. We chose to spotlight this album because this is the first time Luther showcased his 100-pound weight loss on the album’s cover. He was not able to maintain or sustain the weight loss. Luther lost and gained at least a hundred pounds more than eight times while I worked for him. We’re discussing yo-yo dieting, self-love, and the power of positive talk can help you overcome feelings of failing or self-loathing related to body shape and size.

Today, I continue to present diabetes outreach with dazzle! Divabetic’s robust schedule includes newsletters, blog posts, virtual programs, and podcasts. I also work full-time for violinist Itzhak Perlman. Since Mr. Perlman, who has polio, uses a motorized scooter, I spend most days dealing with accessibility issues regarding air and ground travel and hotel accommodations. Mr. Perlman’s exuberance for life, humor and kindness, not to mention talent, make it all worthwhile. Although soul music and Rhythm and Blues will always be my first love, I’ve learned to appreciate classical music.

Itzhak Perlman is truly amazing! And yes, Mr. Perlman has listened to and enjoyed Luther’s music.

Over the past 20 years since Luther’s stroke, I have lost none of my passion for helping others at risk, affected by and living with avoid a similar fate to Luther’s. I am still keenly interested in eradicating the shame and blame associated with type 2 diabetes and elevating the conversation surrounding food addiction.

Throughout the podcast, we will feature music from Luther Vandross’s Give Me The Reason album courtesy of SONY Music.

4 Ways to Thrive during the Holidays When You Are a Caregiver

1. Identify specific stressors

While it’s easy to lump stress altogether, identifying where your stress is coming from is necessary. Here are a few factors family caregivers often say are causing them anxiety and stress:

Worrying that the senior’s needs aren’t being met

Feeling concerned about neglecting a spouse, partner, or children

Lacking enough time to get things done

Missing work due to caregiving duties

Needing more time for self-care

Once you’ve identified where you are struggling, it’s easier to find solutions. For example, call your church or synagogue to see if they have a volunteer visitor program for homebound seniors. This assistance would allow your loved one to have a regular visitor, and you to take a break.

2. Accept that no one can do it all

One mistake caregivers routinely make is thinking they can and must do everything alone. In most situations, that just isn’t realistic. Before the holidays are in full swing this year, set a goal to be more pragmatic. Here are a few ideas to consider for your holiday goal setting:

Simplify holiday celebrations: It really is okay to simplify holiday traditions while you are busy caregiving. Instead of cooking a formal, sit-down dinner for family and friends, ask everyone to bring a dish or find a restaurant you can all meet at for a meal. Remind yourself that it doesn’t have to be forever, just until life is a little calmer.

Responding to invitations: Most people have a difficult time saying no. Set your feelings of guilt aside and don’t feel obligated to attend every holiday event you are invited to. On the flip side, don’t feel guilty if you want to go to a party and have someone else stay with your loved one. A night out to laugh and enjoy yourself will likely make you a better caregiver.

3. Your health matters, too

The hectic pace of the holidays combined with the demands of caregiving, can lead many to take shortcuts with their diet and to skip exercising. Neither is a good idea.

If you need to rely on fast food or take out during the holiday rush, review the menus (and nutritional content!) at your favorite restaurants and opt for those that are the healthiest. This information on healthy foods at big chain restaurants will help.

4. Explore senior care options

Caregiving is a lot of work any time of year. Before the height of the holiday season, explore your local senior care options. Adult day centers and home care are two possibilities. Respite care and assisted living are others. You can take advantage of these services on a short-term or permanent basis.

Sometimes, during the holiday season, caregivers begin to realize that a senior loved one needs more assistance than can be provided at home. If this situation sounds familiar, we’d like to help.

Diabetes Late Nite Inspired by Elvis Presley

We’re talking about how to not let diabetes dim your dazzle during the holiday season with our panel of experts on Divabetic’s popular Diabetes Late Nite podcast inspired by Elvis Presley.

Guests include Chilbrook Kennels Breeder Author, Diabetes Alert Dog and Scent Detection Expert, Debby Kay, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Susan Weiner MS, RDN, CDE, CDN, Mandy Reece PHARMD, CDE, BC-ADM, FAADE, Rachel Zinman,  the Charlie’s Angels of Outreach featuring Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE and America’s #1 Energy Conductor, High Voltage. 

Throughout the podcast we will be featuring songs from the new “Christmas with Elvis and The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra” album courtesy of SONY Music.

The album brings together Elvis Presley’s best-loved yuletide performances from “Elvis’ Christmas Album” (1957) and “Elvis Sings the Wonderful World of Christmas” (1971) re-imagined with sublime and exquisite new arrangements performed by The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra.