Living with diabetes can be a challenging experience, especially when it comes to your relationships. That’s why it’s essential to talk to your loved ones about your diabetes diagnosis and how it affects your life. It can help you surround yourself with a more supportive and encouraging environment.
Dr. Janis Roszler, PhD, LMFT, CDCES, LD/N, FAND, and Donna Rice, MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES, co-authors of Divabetic’s ebook Sweet Romance: A Woman’s Guide To Love & Intimacy With Diabetes, Dr. Janis Roszler PhD, LMFT, CDCES, LD/N, FAND, and Donna Rice MBA, BSN, RN, CDCES, FADCES offer advice on discussing your diabetes diagnosis as well as issues related to intimacy, fertility, and menopause with the people you care about the most.
Thank you for helping us to better understand your unique experiences and struggles with diabetes by participating in our first-ever survey on love and relationships for women with diabetes with Diabetes Sisters . This survey, titled Love Across All Life Stages of Diabetes, allowed you to share your thoughts and experiences with us so we can create more meaningful programming and resources to serve you.
For the past 64 years. Barbie has been a part of our lives, a cultural touchstone, or the quintessential image of what a woman should be but never will be – a sex or beauty object. Greta Gerwig’s big screen makeover and the related marketing blitz are making us revisit and reevaluate Barbie’s impact on our lives, including our sex lives.
After all, if Barbie and Ken are confused about what to do at sleepovers, you might be too, especially if you’re dealing with sexual health issues related to diabetes. Diabetes is one of the most common chronic diseases in nearly all countries. People with diabetes experience sexual dysfunction more often than the general public.
Yesterday I was interviewed about my experience finding my boss, Luther Vandross after he suffered a stroke in his apartment in 2003.
My memories of that day are still crystal clear. My experience fuels my passion for helping others at risk, affected by and living with diabetes, to ‘keep their house a home,’ specifically by learning how to prevent a diabetes health-related complication.
My learning curve about stroke prevention was dramatic, and I don’t wish that to be the case for anyone else.
Two minutes after Luther, who was lying on a gurney, was wheeled into emergency, the doctor came out to tell me that Luther’s stroke could be prevented. I was dumbfounded. Up until that moment, I didn’t know the link between stroke and mismanaged diabetes. I use ‘mismanaged diabetes’ because well-managed diabetes is the leading cause of nothing. In Luther’s case, he was not managing his type 2 diabetes when he suffered a stroke. Instead, numerous people and media like to solely blame his weight for the stroke. They never mention noncompliance as a risk factor too.
I assume Luther must have felt the sense of overwhelming failure after regaining 125 + pounds. Understandably, he might have avoided taking his diabetes medications, seeking out his healthcare providers, and asking for help from others. As a result, he was alone in his battle. I think that was a mistake.
Luther Vandross, at age 52, suffered a stroke on April 16, 2003. But, unfortunately, his healthy story is not unique. He suffered from diabetes and hypertension, and his weight seesawed between 180 and 320 pounds. Even the term ‘yo yo’ dieting seems a bit naive to me. Personally, I feel Luther suffered from disordered eating behavior. Most of us don’t take time to think about our eating habits like what, when, and why they eat.
Signs and symptoms of disordered eating may include, but are not limited to:
Frequent dieting, anxiety associated with specific foods, or meal skipping
Chronic weight fluctuations
Rigid rituals and routines surrounding food and exercise
Feelings of guilt and shame associated with eating
Preoccupation with food, weight, and body image that negatively impacts the quality of life
A feeling of loss of control around food, including compulsive eating habits
Using exercise, food restriction, fasting, or purging to “make up for bad foods” consumed
Disordered eating behaviors are treatable with the right resources and help. But many people who suffer from disordered eating patterns either minimize or do not fully realize the impact it has on their mental and physical health. Luther liked to joke about his eating behaviors and weight. Specifically, I feel Luther suffered from binge eating.
Binge eating disorder (BED) is characterized by recurrent episodes of eating large quantities of food (often very quickly and to the point of discomfort); a feeling of a loss of control during the binge; experiencing shame, distress or guilt afterward; and not regularly using unhealthy compensatory measures (e.g., purging) to counter the binge eating. It is the most common eating disorder in the United States.
Sadly, Luther and I never discussed his type 2 diabetes beyond the need to refill a prescription. I didn’t even know he had hypertension. So do I regret that I wasn’t more involved in his diabetes self-care? Absolutely! But it seems only Cher is capable of turning back time. So my time left on earth is dedicated to sharing my experience to inspire others.
We did discuss his weight. He asked me how I managed my weight. I told him that I exercised. When he said that he didn’t exercise, I suggested that he try step aerobics. Up until that point, Luther relied on liquid diets to maintain his weight loss. Ultimately, Luther liked step aerobics so much that we traveled on tour with a step aerobics instructor.
Unfortunately, his all-or-nothing approach to diet and exercise did not help. He could not practice moderation. I don’t think he is alone in that regard. My friend, High Voltage, abstains from added sugar because she believes her body reacts to added sugar like it’s a drug. She often compares the experience of sugar cravings to cocaine addiction. High Voltage can’t have one teaspoon of sugar and stop. Unfortunately, moderation is not the cure for everyone. Sadly, we choose to beat ourselves up and others for lacking the willpower to stop eating certain foods when the real culprit could be brain chemistry.
During the interview, I was asked if Luther experienced love. Unfortunately, I think he was lacking in self-love.
“If I’m emotionally distraught, then eating is my coping mechanism,” Luther Vandross told Britain’s Q magazine in 1991. “For what ails me, it seems to be the only thing that takes the edge off the pain.”
Strokes, the third-leading cause of death for all racial and ethnic groups, killed 18,884 African-Americans in 1999.
Also, in 1999, 11,927 African-Americans died from diabetes, the sixth-leading cause of death for African-Americans.
Divabetic’s Luther Vandross Tributepodcast guests include Lisa Fischer, Jason Miles, Jeff James, Patricia Addie-Gentle RN, CDE, and Chuck Flowers.
By the time Luther Vandross headed to the studio to record his fifth album Give Me the Reason in 1986, he’d become one of the most successful soul singers of the first half of the eighties. His four previous albums have been either certified platinum or double-platinum in America.
For Luther Vandross’ fifth album Give Me the Reason, the album comprised nine tracks including the hits: So Amazing, There’s Nothing Better Than Love, Stop To Love and Give Me The Reason.
Throughout the podcast, we will be featuring music from Luther Vandross’s Give Me The Reason album courtesy of SONY Music.
