I hope you enjoy Poet Lorraine Brooks’ poem is “Beauty & The Beach”from our Diabetes Roundtable podcast inspired by Esther Williams that was originally broadcast in July 2013. Without a doubt this poem is the most popular poem that Lorraine has ever shared on our podcasts. It also marks an important turning point in our podcast’s content because the bravery and honest emotions expressed in her poem opened the door for us to tackle more sensitive subjects on future podcasts.
I remember talking to Lorraine about this poem prior to our live broadcast. She had an uneasy feeling that I might not like her poem because it wasn’t ‘upbeat’ or ‘happy’ enough to fit in with our typical podcast format. I assured her that it didn’t matter if her poem strayed from our ‘happy’ outlook about living with diabetes because it was simply great. To be honest, it had never occurred to me that our podcasts might seem unabashedly upbeat to our listeners until our conversation. Up until then, my intent with each show was to provide a forum for our guests to ‘let their hair down’ and talk about their diabetes. I never intentionally censored anyone’s words or comments and/or suggested to alter their story to be more inspiring. However, after our conversation I took Lorraine’s words to heart and quickly began re-shaping our podcast to reflect a more authentic view of diabetes; the good and the bad along with everything in between.
It’s interesting to note that people have expressed mixed feeling about Lorraine’s poem over the years. Some people think it’s sad and depressing. Others argue it’s true and honest. No matter what you think I’m sure you will agree with me that Lorraine’s words need to be heard!
Beauty and the Beach by Poet Lorraine Brooks
I’m not Esther Williams.
I’m not even close.
My body in bathing suits
Feels clumsy and gross.
I look at the swimmers
And look at the pool,
And suddenly feel
Like a a fat ugly fool.
I try to ignore them,
These feelings I feel…
But the bottom line truth is,
The feelings are real.
Will I wear a bathing suit?
Probably not.
I’ll probably stay in my clothes,
And feel hot.
I’ve tried, please believe me,
To listen to those
Who tell me its OK
To take off my clothes.
Then I look at others
And what comes to mind?
I sense they are judging me
And being unkind.
I wish I was comfortable,
I Wish I fit in…
I wish I was normal.
I wish I was thin.
I wish People saw me
For more Than my weight…
I wish that I had
A much different fate.
So, hats off to Esther
Who swam like a fish…
Who by all accounts
Was a beautiful “dish”.
But I am not Esther.
I’m all I can be…
And sometimes I struggle
Just being me.
One more small thing,
I must say it out loud –
If I had a body
Of which I was proud…
If tank tops and 2-pieces
Were within my reach
I’d be more than happy
To join you at the beach.
LISTEN NOW: Diabetes Roundtable inspired by Esther Williams Diabetes Roundtable Hosted by Mr. Divabetic. Special Guests include: Author Brenda Novak, Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Mama Rose Marie, Fitness Expert Tiffany Savion, Kathy Gold, RN, CDE, Neva White CRNP, CDE and Leslie living with type 1 diabetes.