I’m innocently watching a bit of TV
To relax, with a hot cup of joe.
I put my feet up, on the chair next to me,
And got ready to enjoy the show.

I breathed in and out, in a sigh of relief
As the day is beginning to end.
A moment of silence, however brief,
In this moment, feels like a friend.

But just as I start to unwind and get quiet,
I feel my jaw start to get tight.
A million commercials that tell me to diet
That what I look like isn’t right.

So,come to Weight Watchers, or try Jenny Craig
And what about Zumba or swimming?
Or,how about hopping on just one leg,
Or wearing these pants that are “slimming”?

Or maybe a pill that will help me eat less
Or an operation on my belly.
Or maybe I need to control all my stress,
So my buttocks won’t shake like it’s jelly.

And books that are titled “Eat This, and Not That”
And DVDs set to pop songs.
And spokespeople yelling “get rid of,your fat!”
And showing young models in thongs.

So I change the channel and what do I see?
But more of the same, it’s so sad.
Get “healthy”, get “fit”, it’s so easy to be!
And. making me feel pretty bad.

So I turned off the telly, and got out a book
And started to read for my pleasure.
To forget about diets and how I must look,
And what I should do in my leisure.

‘Cause this is the package that I’m wrapped up in
And no sense me feeling ashamed.
I’ll never be skinny or painfully thin,
And likely I’ll mostly get blamed.

But I’m not complaining, well, not any more,
I’m just gonna chill, and be mellow
And celebrate all that my life has in store,
While enjoying my sugar-free jello.

Because in the end I just want folks to say
Even though she did not wear size seven,
She was kind, she was honest, and she was OK…
And we hope that there’s chocolate in heaven.