I hope you enjoy Poet Lorraine Brooks’ poem is “Beauty & The Beach”from our Diabetes Roundtable podcast inspired by Esther Williams that was originally broadcast in July 2013. Without a doubt this poem is the most popular poem that Lorraine has ever shared on our podcasts. It also marks an important turning point in our podcast’s content because the bravery and honest emotions expressed in her poem opened the door for us to tackle more sensitive subjects on future podcasts.

I remember talking to Lorraine about this poem prior to our live broadcast. She had an uneasy feeling that I might not like her poem because it wasn’t ‘upbeat’ or ‘happy’ enough to fit in with our typical podcast format. I assured her that it didn’t matter if her poem strayed from our ‘happy’ outlook about living with diabetes because it was simply great. To be honest, it had never occurred to me that our podcasts might seem unabashedly upbeat to our listeners until our conversation. Up until then, my intent with each show was to provide a forum for our guests to ‘let their hair down’ and talk about their diabetes. I never intentionally censored anyone’s words or comments and/or suggested to alter their story to be more inspiring. However, after our conversation I took Lorraine’s words to heart and quickly began re-shaping our podcast to reflect a more authentic view of diabetes; the good and the bad along with everything in between.

It’s interesting to note that people have expressed mixed feeling about Lorraine’s poem over the years. Some people think it’s sad and depressing. Others argue it’s true and honest. No matter what you think I’m sure you will agree with me that Lorraine’s words need to be heard!

Beauty and the Beach by Poet Lorraine Brooks

I’m not Esther Williams.

I’m not even close.

My body in bathing suits

Feels clumsy and gross.

I look at the swimmers

And look at the pool,

And suddenly feel

Like a a fat ugly fool.

I try to ignore them,

These feelings I feel…

But the bottom line truth is,

The feelings are real.

Will I wear a bathing suit?

Probably not.

I’ll probably stay in my clothes,

And feel hot.

I’ve tried, please believe me,

To listen to those

Who tell me its OK

To take off my clothes.

Then I look at others

And what comes to mind?

I sense they are judging me

And being unkind.

I wish I was comfortable,

I Wish I fit in…

I wish I was normal.

I wish I was thin.

I wish People saw me

For more Than my weight…

I wish that I had

A much different fate.

So, hats off to Esther

Who swam like a fish…

Who by all accounts

Was a beautiful “dish”.

But I am not Esther.

I’m all I can be…

And sometimes I struggle

Just being me.

One more small thing,

I must say it out loud –

If I had a body

Of which I was proud…

If tank tops and 2-pieces

Were within my reach

I’d be more than happy

To join you at the beach.

July’s Diabetes Roundtable

LISTEN NOW: Diabetes Roundtable inspired by Esther Williams Diabetes Roundtable Hosted by Mr. Divabetic. Special Guests include: Author Brenda Novak, Image & Style Advisor Catherine Schuller, Poet Lorraine Brooks, Mama Rose Marie, Fitness Expert Tiffany Savion, Kathy Gold, RN, CDE, Neva White CRNP, CDE and Leslie living with type 1 diabetes.

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